Fatherhood | Hours | MTV | Unfolding the deck chairs | Presidential Marriages - 6/17/07

[Smartmarriages]

- FATHER'S DAY
- LAUNCH OF NATIONAL RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD CLEARINGHOUSE WEBSITE
- THE HOURS 
- UNDERAGE AND ENGAGED ON MTV
- ENDANGERED SPECIES: THE STABLE MARRIAGE
- PRESIDENTIAL MARRIAGES

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- FATHER'S DAY

I hope you all had a wonderful Father's Day.  Many of you sent articles to
share with the list but everyone single one was about how to increase father
involvement for "disconnected" - never-married or divorced dads. As noble
and worthy as that mission is, it is not what our coalition is about. Many
great organizations are hard at work on trying to rebuild those connections.
Our work is "upstream" focused on how to get and keep dads married to the
mothers of their children.  - diane

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- LAUNCH OF NATIONAL RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD CLEARINGHOUSE WEBSITE

Launch of http://www.fatherhood.gov/ Part of New
National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse
June 17, 2007 

WASHINGTON, D.C. --- The Administration for Children and Families (ACF) at
the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) announces the launch
of the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse (NRFC) Web site
available at http://www.fatherhood.gov/ .

Launched in celebration of Father¹s Day, www.fatherhood.gov provides access
to print and electronic publications, information on fatherhood issues and
targeted resources. The site includes valuable tools such as tips for dads,
an online library, frequently asked questions and a subscription service for
visitors to connect to the latest information on responsible fatherhood.

The NRFC supports the federal commitment to advance responsible fatherhood
as a public policy concern. Specifically, the NRFC:
* Encourages and supports responsible fatherhood IN THE CONTEXT OF MARRIAGE;
* Promotes responsible, caring and effective parenting;
* Enhances the abilities and commitment of unemployed or low-income fathers
to provide material support for their families;
* Improves fathers¹ ability to effectively manage family business affairs.

The NRFC Web site provides information, resources and tools to visitors
across diverse communities and income levels, and enables these visitors to
make significant contributions to the national responsible fatherhood
movement.

The NRFC can also be reached via telephone at 877-4DA-D411.

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- THE HOURS 
> Hello my name is Chris and I am going to attend the Smart Marriages Healthy
> Marriage Conference and I was wanting to know if you could tell me what time
> the conference starts everyday?  Is it from 8 am until 4 pm?  Thanks
> for your time.
> 

Look at the program at a glance on pg 17 of the brochure - download here:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/Brochure.07.pdf

Thurs - opening keynote 6:30-8:30pm
Fri - 8:30am - 5:30pm
Sat - 8:30am - 10pm
Sun - 8:30am - 4:30pm
Plus there are banquets on Wed, Fri, and Sun nights.

And, there are pre and post conference training institutes from
8:30am-5:30pm, daily.

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- UNDERAGE AND ENGAGED ON MTV
> Diane, 
> I am sure you are well aware of the MTV program, "Underage and Engaged".. I
> was not aware of this program until I happened upon it on TV yesterday and I
> have to say that it is most disturbing, depressing and such a negative message
> about marriage in general. I realize that it is intended for entertainment
> value however it sends alarming thoughts to anyone who tunes in. This reality
> show profiles young (18-21) year old couples whose relationships are as
> pathetic as they could possibly be. What is portrayed is the opposite of what
> Smart Marriages stands for in terms of promoting and educating about strong
> relationships. I would appreciate your feedback and any specific responses
> that Smart Marriages have directed to this alarming regular feature on MTV. My
> husband and I are so excited to attend the Smart Marriages conference this
> month in Denver.
> Debbie

Debbie, 
This is a grass-roots, grab-an-oar coalition. It's true that to change the
culture the media is not just an important tool, it's our most important
tool which is why we're so excited when a good show, movie, advertisement,
or CD comes along. I am not familiar with this show, but if you want to do
something you are invited to start a campaign and share your suggestions
with the list.  You've completed step #1 - alerted the list to the problem.
It's pretty difficult with a cable show to have much effect - we can't
boycott the sponsors.  (Or, am I wrong?  Does MTV have sponsors?  I don't
think I've ever seen a show on MTV.) You might find the specific contact
info for the show and share it with a suggestion that others write to MTV to
express their disappointment.  - diane

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- ENDANGERED SPECIES: THE STABLE MARRIAGE

Herb Opalek: Endangered species: The stable marriage
Merced Sun Star
June 16, 2007

EDITOR'S NOTE: Opalek, the CEO of the Merced County Rescue Mission, is a
frequent contributor to the Perspective page.

One of my favorite of Bob Hope's many jokes goes like this: "Well, we're
coming up on June, the month of weddings. You know marriage is making a big
comeback. I know personally that in Hollywood people are marrying people
they never married before."

But marriage is not making a big comeback this June. An informal poll of
Merced County pastors shows that the traditional June bride is disappearing
from our radar screens.

Talk to many wedding professionals and learn that many contemporary brides
are breaking tradition. September and October now surpass June in many parts
of the country. And many couples are not marrying at all!

Indeed, divorce is on the rise and the overall marriage and divorce
statistics are frightening. It is interesting that the stability of marriage
and the occurrence of divorce have a direct correlation to the education
level of a married couple.

The divorce rate among college-educated women has dropped by some 12.5
percent while among high school dropouts the divorce rate rose 12 percent.

And these statistics would be greater if we were to count the many couples
living outside of wedlock. By the way, the out of wedlock birthrate for
women who drop out of high school is 15 percent while the rate in the
African-American community is an incredible 67 percent.

The family structure is weakening and already there are students in our
local schools who are fathers and mothers. And these kids have no clue how
this will affect their future. We, the responsible adults, don't realize how
these changes in family structure impact on the American economy. It takes
away educational opportunity and, often, causes those who find themselves in
this situation to be among the most poverty stricken of the societal ladder.

It is easy to bemoan the lack of family values and the need for reinforcing
the traditional family structure. Our concerns grow more rapidly when we see
the rise of such perverse new societal celebrations such as the divorce
party. There is even a book on the subject whose proposition is that a
divorce party is a way to mark the end of the pain and suffering that comes
with divorce.

It claims that a divorce party is an opportunity to vent, to cry, laugh,
yell, whatever you need to do, in the company of loving friends and family ‹
and that the party is an opportunity to announce your new status in life.
You are now single and available for new experiences and even new
relationships. A whole new phase of life is just beginning. And that is
something to celebrate!

What can we do about this? How can we teach our children? Where are the
exemplars in our community? As responsible Mercedians and parents we need to
teach our children to prepare for lifelong marriages, work to strengthen
existing marriages, and seek to restore troubled marriages. I don't need to
preach scripture to make my point. It is common sense that a strong family
unit contributes more than does the dysfunctional one!

I am reminded of one of Charles Schulz's "Peanuts" cartoons. Charlie Brown
is sitting in a deck chair near the front of a large boat when Lucy walks
up. "Some people go through life with their deck chair facing forward,
gazing out where they are going," Lucy says philosophically. "Others go
through life with their deck chair facing backwards, looking at where
they've been." Then looking directly into Charlie Brown's sunglasses, she
asks him, "Charlie Brown, which way is your deck chair facing?" Charlie
Brown shrugging his shoulders answers, "I really don't know, I've never been
able to get my deck chair unfolded."

When it comes to the sanctity of marriage, we need to get our deck chairs
unfolded.

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- PRESIDENTIAL MARRIAGES

The New York Times
June 17, 2007
The Way We Live Now
First-Family Values
By JAMES TRAUB

It¹s a good bet that whoever moves into the White House in January 2009 will
offer the American people a more contemporary tableau of family life than
the one we have witnessed for the last six years. George and Laura Bush seem
to be an admirably well-suited and loving couple, the very model of a first
family (minus a few untoward events involving the kids). They¹re a throwback
couple, like Rob and Laura Petrie from ³The Dick Van Dyke Show² ‹ one
amiable and slightly buffoonish, the other tolerant and wryly exasperated.
The fictional Laura (played by Mary Tyler Moore) was a lot goofier than the
real one; but each knew her place, which was in the home, by the side of her
man.

The kind of high-achieving people who vie to run the Western democracies
nowadays tend to have marriages. . .

For the full article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/17/magazine/17wwln-lede-t.html?_r=1&ref=us&or
ef=slogin

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11th Annual Smart Marriages Conference, Denver Adam's Mark Hotel,
June 28-July 1, 2007
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