Texans |Badges | Einstein Saved My Marriage | Marriage and Poverty - 6/08/07

[Smartmarriages]

- IT HAS TO BE ALL THOSE TEXANS....
- BADGES ARRIVING 
- NEW BOOK: HOW EINSTEIN SAVED MY MARRIAGE
- MARRIAGE AND POVERTY

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- IT HAS TO BE ALL THOSE TEXANS....

I just got the weekly conference registration reports and Texas has pulled
back in the lead.  Ahead of Colorado!  That must be why the hotel is
completely sold out! The Adams Mark still has a few rooms but they're now
offering them at $299 per night for a regular room. Please spread the word
that there is still overflow space right down the street at the Comfort Inn
- still only $109 if you ask for the conference rate. We'll have 100's of
Smart Marriages attendees staying there - you won't be lonely.  We also have
rooms at the Grand Hyatt for $109 - 4 blocks away.  And, it never rains in
Denver this time of year - and it's nice to get outside a few times a day.
- diane 

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- BADGES ARRIVING 
People are receiving their badges even as registrations continue to pour in!
When I sent the email yesterday that badges were being mailed, I created
panic. The fact that badges are being mailed does not mean it's too late to
register. You can register right up to the walk-in registration in Denver.
It's just nice to get it handled in advance and avoid the lines.  The
on-line registration and fax registrations are still open and going strong.

Also, I'm getting questions about the badges.  As the (long) badge letter
says, contact the registrar only if your name is misspelled, your institutes
are wrong or missing, or you wish to add a banquet or Institute. Or, if you
have a bunch of dashes (blanks) where you think you shouldn't. (If you have
all dashes for a day, you are not admitted to the keynotes and lunches on
that day.)  Call 800-314-1921 to make corrections/additions.

>> Diane, We intended to register for Prep 101 with Christian Prep 102.  The
>> badge just says 102 so I assume that means 101 is included.
>> 
>> Let me know if any changes have to be made,
>> Ken Schaefer
>> Married 4 Keeps
>> Protestant Healthy Families Coalition
> > 
> Yes everyone with a 102 on their badge is admitted to the full 101 PREP
> training.  The 102 means you get the materials for C-Prep 102 and spend lunch
> time w/ Scott Stanley going over C-Prep specifics.  The 102 on your badge is
> primarily a way to let the Prep folks know how many of each sets of materials
> to bring. And, not to worry they will have plenty of extra sets of 101 for
> purchase. - 
> diane 

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- NEW BOOK: HOW EINSTEIN SAVED MY MARRIAGE
by Stanley Posthumus, MSW, JD

The first major publication about Focused Thinking mediation originated by
Stanley Posthumus, will be released at the 11th Annual Smart Marriages
Denver Conference. The book presents a transcript of a typical five-hour
marriage mediation session. The reader is drawn into the action and learns
along with the couple how to communicate effectively, how to solve problems,
and ³how-to-change.² 

Stanley Posthumus is an internationally-known Family Mediator and
Relationship Specialist.  When he began his practice more than twenty years
ago, he was shocked to learn that every couple gets divorced after mediation
and he became determined to offer families another outcome, especially to
protect children from the damaging effects of divorce.  To his delight, he
discovered that Einstein's work on 'relativity' could be applied to
'relationships'. The outcome: he was able to help half the divorcing couples
he worked with to reconcile.  The key to success is that couples learn and
acquire the tools and skills they need to resolve their own problems.  

Patrick Fagan, the lead author of a major research paper entitled, "The
Effects of Divorce on America," gives an introduction to the book.  Judy
Parejko, the books editor, is known for her own book, "Stolen Vows: The
Illusion of No-Fault Divorce and the Rise of the American Divorce Industry,"
which tells about her journey of discovery and disillusionment while working
as a family court mediator.  Judy will be available at the conference
exhibit area to answer questions about Focused Thinking Mediation
Technology, including its various applications. For further information, or
to reserve a copy of the book, contact jparejko at juno.com.

[[Sounds fascinating! - diane ]]

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- MARRIAGE AND POVERTY

Here is an editorial about our award winner and keynote speaker Kay
Hymowitz.  She'll sign her book, Marriage and Caste in American, Thurs at
5pm at the Playback Now booth in the exhibit area.   - diane

Editorial
Marriage And Poverty
If you want to help the poor, promote marriage
National Catholic Register
BY The Editors
June 10-16, 2007 

If you want to help the poor, promote marriage. That¹s the finding of
scholars like Kay Hymowitz. Poverty is a real problem, even in the affluent
United States. The rich-poor gap is deep and wide. But many programs that
are created to deal with poverty ignore the very clear roots of the problem.

Hymowitz wrote Marriage and Caste in America, whose findings were recently
summarized by Father John Flynn on Zenit.

She demonstrates how the breakdown of the family isn¹t just a personal
tragedy for those involved. It¹s an economic disaster for them ‹ which means
it affects us all.

A combination of divorce and out-of-wedlock births is producing a nation of
separate and unequal families, and leaving millions of children at a severe
disadvantage.

It used to be unthinkable for women to have children outside of wedlock ‹
and just as unusual for couples to divorce.

But the upheaval of the 1960s changed both those situations. Divorce became
much more common, and having children outside of marriage became more common
right along with it.

By the turn of the 21st century, the situation had changed dramatically ‹
but not uniformly.

Among college-educated mothers, only 10% were living without husbands.

Among mothers with less education than that, 36% were living without
husbands.

By 2004, 1 in 3 births was to a single mother. But of those, the vast
majority had low levels of education and were poor.

The elevated number of single mothers goes a long way toward explaining the
persistently high level of poverty among children in the United States,
according to Hymowitz. No fewer than 36% of female-headed families live
below the poverty line, compared with 6% of married couples.

It¹s a vicious circle.

Life is hard for the women caught in this situation. It isn¹t often better
for their children. They have lower grades and educational qualifications
compared to children who grow up with married parents. This holds true even
after allowing for differences in race, family background and IQ.

And so, these children are also likely to earn less and have a lower
occupational status.

Thus are the social and economic inequalities of one generation perpetuated
in the next.

It can seem like there is no way out. Hymowitz points out that a mother¹s
remarriage doesn¹t help. Her children¹s outcomes still resemble those of
children from single-parent families.

Statistics back up what the Church has always taught: Getting married and
staying married is the best way to help order society and give children what
they need.

Children brought up by a married couple have greater security, peace of mind
and order in their lives. They are also more likely to want to get and stay
married themselves.

Hymowitz dedicates a substantial portion of her book to examining what
happened with black families, where the trend to single motherhood started
much earlier.

Already in the mid-1960s, critics such as Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan,
D-N.Y., warned that the breakdown of the black family was part of the reason
they were not achieving economic equality with whites. Voices such as
Moynihan¹s were, however, in large part ignored, and we now run the risk of
producing another unequal caste, those children born to unmarried mothers,
Hymowitz argues.

It is inescapably true: Strong families that provide plenty of parental
oversight, along with robust cultural and moral values, are the best way to
fight the cycle of poverty.

Today¹s front-page story provides some hope. Divorce, illegitimacy and teen
pregnancy rates have declined. As well, family values and marriage seem to
be enjoying a resurgence of support.

The danger, however, as Father John Flynn pointed out, is that that this
could be restricted to just one group in society, namely, the children
fortunate enough to count on two parents. Denver Archbishop Charles Chaput
famously said (citing the Last Judgment passage of Matthew): ³If we forget
the poor, we¹ll go to hell.²

Catholics fortunate enough to have the strength of marriage on their side
need to share the wealth of the Church¹s teaching on marriage as well as
their material wealth with the world.

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11th Annual Smart Marriages Conference, Denver Adam's Mark Hotel,
June 28-July 1, 2007
Download a brochure: http://www.smartmarriages.com/Brochure.07.pdf


List your program and resources on the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com

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http://www.iPlaybackSmartMarriages.com

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW, Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332

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