Wal-Mart | Telecourse | Session Powerpoints | Marriage Radicals | WWME | Movies | Celebrity List -7/9/07

[Smartmarriages]

- WAY TO GO, EVANSVILLE!
- *HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT IT* TELECOURSE
- OUR EVER-GENEROUS SMART MARRIAGES PRESENTERS
- BREAKTHROUGH IN BRITAIN: RADICAL MARRIAGE SOLUTIONS PROPOSED
- REFLECTIONS ON ATTENDING THE DENVER SMART MARRIAGES CONFERENCE
- KNOCKED UP - THE MOVIE
- LICENSE TO WED - MORE ENDORSEMENTS
- CELEBRITY COLLECTION CORRECTION

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- WAY TO GO, EVANSVILLE!
I received a postal mailing about Marriage Class incentives from Community
Marriage Builders in Evansville, Indiana.  I was intrigued by their sponsors
- like a $1,000 gift card from Wal Mart, jewelers, etc.  I went to the site
to check things out and want to encourage all of you to check their web
updates and their really beautiful, useful site!
Check it out: htttp:www.makeitlast.org

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- *HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT IT* TELECOURSE

Steven Stosny and Pat Love are offering an incredible rate of only $110 for
their six session *How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It*
telecourse: Sept. 11-Oct 16. Register at
http://compassionpower.com/Marriage%20HowtoImproveworkshop.php

Perfect to improve your own marriage or to learn how to help couples improve
theirs.  - diane 

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- OUR EVER-GENEROUS SMART MARRIAGES PRESENTERS

I've created a page for these at
http://www.smartmarriages.com/handouts.07.html

If other presenters wish to send their powerpoints or handouts, just email
me either the links or attachments and I'll get them posted. It does make
the recordings much more accessible. - diane

> Hi Diane,  
> I have posted the the PowerPoint from my workshop ³Marriage at Work² at:
>  
> www.marriageministries.net <http://www.marriageministries.net/>
>  
> Go to the ³Help & Support² drop down tab and click on ³Notes & Articles.²  The
> PDF is at the top of the page.
>  
> Tim Gardner
> The Marriage Institute, LLC
> *************
> Diane--
> I have been a bit overwhelmed by the positive response to my Presentation
> Skills 101 workshop in Denver.  Among the few things I addressed (including
> use of movie clips, creative behavioral rehearsal, and teaching methods)
> apparently a lot of people didn't know they were mis-using Power Point or that
> they could do so many effective things with it.  So, I've uploaded the Power
> Point presentation to my website for download.  People will want to order the
> session CD so they can make sense of the Power Point (a link to order the CD
> is provided).  The audio CD and Power Point together should make for an easy
> self-study.  Download the Power Point here:
> http://www.successfulstepfamilies.com/go/PresentationSkills101.
> Ron

##########################
- BREAKTHROUGH IN BRITAIN: RADICAL MARRIAGE SOLUTIONS PROPOSED

There is much here that can be used in our marriage strengthening efforts.

> Subject: Tomorrow's launch of "Breakthrough Britain"
> 
> For the last 18 months, I have been deputy chairman of a social justice policy
> group tasked firstly with identifying the nature, causes and consequences of
> family breakdown and secondly with proposing some ³solutions². Although the
> group was initiated by the Conservative leader David Cameron, our working
> group asserts that it is politically independent.

> Last December we produced our first report ³Fractured Families
> <http://www.bcft.co.uk/Fractured%20Families%202006.pdf> ² which attracted a
> great deal of political and media attention.

> Tomorrow ­ Tuesday 10th July ­ sees the release of our second and final report
> detailing a range of proposed policies to strengthen families and reduce
> family breakdown.  The launch should be front page news over the next couple
> of days. 

> To look through the entire set of ³Breakthrough Britain² policy proposals on
> family, education, drugs, dependency, voluntary sector, etc, visit:
> <http://www.povertydebate.com/>  You¹ll also find a selection of links to
> articles in the media.

> The easiest way to access our family report will be via the BCFT website
> <http://www.bcft.co.uk/>  where you can also download a special supplementary
> report that I have written.  I hope you¹ll find our proposals suitably
> interesting, challenging, optimistic and radical!
> Harry Benson
> Bristol Community Family Trust
> www.bcft.co.uk

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- REFLECTIONS ON ATTENDING THE DENVER SMART MARRIAGES CONFERENCE

[[Note from Diane: Glen Tilton sent this report to World Wide Marriage
Encounter mail list.  This, as I've said so many times, is how we grow the
marriage education movement.  Word-of-mouth personal testimonials are what
people trust ­ one testimonial is more effective than $20,000 worth of ads.
1) I invite others to copy me on any reports they share with their groups.
I've added Glen's report to "Reflections on Attending the Conference" on the
smartmarriages.com/conferencedetails.html page. Send yours and I'll add
them.  2) Borrow from Glen's report and add your own impressions and share
with whomever. 3) Some of you had cameras.  I'd love to receive any photos
you took of the conference sessions, presenters, exhibits to post on the
website. 4) Someone from World Wide Marriage Encounter and United Methodists
get in touch with me about being listed as a sponsor in '08.  You certainly
are already doing the work of co-sponsoring. 5) Ditto for other
organizations.  Email works best.  - diane ]]

REPORT on attending the SMART Marriage Conference
July 8, 2007
 
We attended the 11th Annual SMART Marriage Conference in Denver, June 27 to
July 2, 2007.  We did so at the invitation of Dr. Carolyn Curtis, Executive
Director, of the Sacramento Healthy Marriage Project.   This year we have
organized a Steering Committee of pastors and lay people to apply to become
a partnering agency to begin marriage and relationship courses in local
United Methodist churches this fall.
 
            We were excited to be at this conference in the midst of 2000
others who are passionate and committed to helping couples enrich and save
their marriage relationships.  We were blown away to meet, and attend a
workshop with Dave & Claudia Arp, founders of the 10 Great Date program.
Then we were amazed to see and hear live and on stage, keynote addresses by
Dr. John Gray (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus), Tony Robbins
(Internationally famous motivational speaker) and Dr. Willard Harley (His
Needs, Her Needs).

            It was also our joy to attend 20 of the more than 150 workshops.
Most of these workshops featured the authors and creators of out-of-the-box,
do-it-yourself marriage and relationship skills courses that can be put on
in any church, school, community center, hospital or lodge.  Some of the
other workshops we attended were: Divorce-busters, Smart Steps for Step
Families, Love and Respect, PAIRS, and etc.  We also attended some how-to
programs on using the internet to share information about and between
programs, grant-writing, marketing, networking and etc.
  
            Most, if not all of these programs are based on solid social
science research about marriage, divorce, family and relationship patterns
in our culture by governmental and/or university researchers, may of whom
were there as speakers or workshop leaders.

            We were delighted to find our friends, Harry & Deb Thomas of
Colorado there with a beautiful exhibit for Marriage Encounter United
Methodist.  They were giving out several new electronic marketing tools to
tell people about the program.  They were part of a large exhibit area where
40 or 50 different programs were available for purchase.  The vendors were
there to discuss their strengths and capabilities of each.

            Finally, at this conference we were able to network with people
who are pioneers in this field.  We were particularly interested in meeting
people who are developing programs focusing on Black Marriage, Hispanic
Marriage, and Asian Marriage.  We also attended a United Methodist caucus
and met pastors and lay people from around the nation who are working in
this field.

            This experience brings us new hope that we can continue to help
couples make marriage the best that it can be. As Carolyn Curtis told us,
marriage counselors can no longer do this work alone.  World-wide Marriage
Encounter should support this movement and become one of the sponsors of the
SMART Marriage Conference when it comes to San Francisco in 2008.  Also the
Marriage Encounter leadership needs to begin to provide courses not just on
our Marriage Encounter weekends, but also adopt and provide leadership for
some of these new programs in local churches.  Our United Methodist Churches
and most churches are located in residential neighborhoods where these
programs are needed.  This ministry is a mission and a calling. Marriage is
God¹s gift to us all. We can no longer hide our light under a bushel, but
put it up on a candlestick for all to see.  So let us let our light shine so
that all may glorify God.
            
Glenn & Gwen Tilton
Lay Executive Couple
Marriage Encounter ­ United Methodist
Sacramento, CA 
gtilton2 at comcast.net
 
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- KNOCKED UP - THE MOVIE

I finally saw Knocked Up, the film many of you recommended.  I agree that
it's very 'pro family/pro marriage' though also agree that it's a shame it
is so filled with drugs and obscenity - so much so that these render it
pretty much unusable in a marriage ed program.  BUT the theater was sold out
Fri night (couldn't get it) and again Sat night (barely got a seat) and this
for a film that's been out for a while and competing against the
blockbusters.  Which means lots of folks are seeing it, which means it's
providing a strong babies/family/responsible dads/marriage message all on
its own.  Here are clips from reviews I sent earlier, but will repeat:

> "Knocked Up" may be about Seth Rogen's slacker coming to grips with
> fatherhood, but the movie also provides a painfully honest and absolutely
> hilarious look at a marriage on the rocks. Initially, Apatow stacks the deck
> in favor of Rudd's beleaguered, wisecracking husband, until you gradually
> realize there's a reason Mann's strong-willed wife is so angry all the time.
> 
> "Watching people stuck in communication black holes is painful in real life,
> but on screen it's really funny," Apatow says. "The male response is
> generally to shut down. I do. I run away when there's a problem. It's the
> classic conflict that people can't get past. Men wanting women to act like
> men and women being mad at men for not thinking like women. It's pure
> comedy."
> 
> The dynamic of this movie marriage may have already improved a few real-life
> unions, Apatow says.
> 
> "I've had a lot of friends say the movie makes them either want to run home
> and be nice to their wives or it made them feel very guilty about the fact
> that they're like Paul Rudd and a little slow to rush home when work ends,"
> Apatow says. "To which I say, 'Good. That's what I'm trying to get across.
> Be there for your wife."
   
> *************
 > DIRTY (PRO-FAMILY) MOVIES
> An interesting NYTimes magazine story on a Hollywood
> director, Judd Apatow, (40-year-old Virgin and Knocked Up) who in his own
> uniquely Hollywood way is very family-oriented.
>
> "If you're walking with Judd and say, 'Hey, look at that hot chick,' he
> gives you the death stare," Adam McKay, the director who had Apatow produce
> his comedies Anchorman and Talladega Nights, had told me. "You can say,
> 'Hey, I still love my wife; I was just looking,' and he still hates it."
>
> "He's right," Apatow told me later when I brought up what McKay said. "I'm
> the guy who gets uncomfortable. That's why I was able to write The
> 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up. I believe in those guys. There's
> something honorable about holding out for love and getting married for the
> sake of the baby. I see people get divorced, and there is a part of me that
> thinks, I wonder how hard they tried?".


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- LICENSE TO WED - MORE ENDORSEMENTS
> Diane:
> As an engaged couple already engaged in marriage education, we were anxiously
> awaiting the debut of the movie License to Wed. Sitting in the theatre with a
> handful of other couples at the 7pm show here in Washington, DC we were only
> disappointed by the low turnout. Like a "milk makes a kid's body grow strong"
> commercial, the movie provided insights to how marriage education helps a
> marriage grow strong. We just wish more folks had been there to get the
> message. Perhaps the critics own personal experiences with marriage led to the
> negative reviews. At any rate, thought you might be interested to know that we
> both thought the movie made good points in a humorous, yet respectful manner.
> David Banks, PhD, MPH, RN
> Collegiate Professor
> University of Maryland - University College

> Diane:   My husband and I saw this movie yesterday.   We both thought it was
> very good!   I think that finally the message is getting out there that
> MARRIAGE EDUCATION is important before a couple gets married.......It is the
> first time that I have seen this in a movie or anywhere......HALLELUJAH!
> THIS MOVEMENT IS FINALLY MAKING AN IMPACT!
> Phyllis Koss

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- CELEBRITY COLLECTION CORRECTION

Diane, 
Appreciate the list of 'long-term' celebrity marriages but it might be smart
to avoid adding 'details' like the one about the Cronkites.

The list says: 
"Walter and Betsy Cronkite (in 2007 married 66 years and both 91)"

Betsy died on March 15, 2005 at the age of 89 from complications of
cancer--a couple weeks short of their 65th wedding anniversary. I read a
report that Walter is dating Joanna Simon, 65, Carly Simon's older sister,
and that they may be married. - Peggy

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12th Annual Smart Marriages Conference, Hilton San Francisco Hotel,
July 2 - 5, 2008  
Pre-Conference Training Institutes June 30-July 2
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 6

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