Tivo Today/ Marriage Songs/Echo that/ Two Sides of the Story - 1/07

Smartmarriages smartmarriages at lists101.his.com
Sat Jan 27 19:09:09 EST 2007


- SET YOUR TIVOS FOR THE TODAY SHOW
- SEND YOUR FAVORITE "MARRIAGE SONGS"
- I ECHO THIS 
- BIRTHDAY PENETRATION
- TWO SIDES OF THE STORY
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- SET YOUR TIVOS FOR THE TODAY SHOW
Next week the Today Show is doing a special on marriage.  So far I'm told
they'll feature Howard Markman, Pat Love, Steven Stosny, Jon Carlson ....I'm
sure there are lots more.  May not start till Tues the 6th, but I'm going to
record the entire week.  And, it's February and Valentine's month so all the
shows seem to be focusing, if not on marriage, at least on love.
Keep me posted if you'll be on or see a notice, so I can alert the list. -
diane 

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- SEND YOUR FAVORITE "MARRIAGE SONGS"
> Hi Diane,
> Has anyone ever put together a music CD of "real" love songs? We would love to
> get a compilation CD or a least a list of songs/albums that could be used for
> marriage retreats or enrichment events.  We're doing a Celebration of Marriage
> with renewal of vows and potluck reception afterwards on February 10 and would
> like to give the DJ a lot of good songs to play during the course of the
> evening.  
>  
> We'd be willing to put together a list if people want to email us their
> favorite love songs & artists.  Then maybe you could post them on the list.
> Dick & Sandy Lawson
> hilawson at comcast.net
> 
This is a great idea.  I've always meant to make such a list, but never find
the time.  Which reminds me of a song I want to nominate: "You Were Always
On My Mind" (but I just never took the time).
I also love "Where've You Been?" by Kathy Mataea.  There are hundreds and
with all the romantics on this listserv imagine you're going to have quite a
list.  Can't wait to see it/share it.  - diane

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- I ECHO THIS 

Diane:
 
>     DO I HEAR AN ECHO?
>     This my mantra so you know I agree with this one.  I keep telling
>     presenters, "If you can write it down in a book or teach it in a class,
>     then you can put it on a DVD.  A low-cost DVD.  We need to sell these at
>     Target and Walmart!"  - diane

I couldn't agree more. I'm using CoupleCare, Kim Halford's DVD-based
coaching program for newly married couples from Australia, with rural
couples in Montana - they live too far away to come for counseling or even
a class, but they will watch a video, do exercises together, and in
CoupleCare, call me for phone coaching. Kim presented at
Smartmarriages in Atlanta last summer -  you can listen to his keynote, but
remember he also did a 2 hr workshop at the Atlanta conference (order
#756-403 at 800-241-7785) and learn more at www.CoupleCare.info.

We need to transform all our materials into educational tools. Couples who
do this will be more likely to come to classes and retreats, and to pay for
therapy if they need it. A book is something you read alone; a DVD you watch
together. It's the "together" factor we need to emphasize -- that's what
works. 

For one thing, just sitting next to their husbands releases oxytocin in
women -- I can watch it happen in my classes. They walk in anxious and on
guard, and by the end of two hours they are snuggling up and sending love
messages. Why not do this at home?  Most of the movies are destructive
pictures of relationships -- we've got to fight back. YOU, my dear should be
looking to create a mechanism to market SmartMarriages presenters to
Walmart. No one else has the stature and power to do it!

Jana Staton 

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- BIRTHDAY PENETRATION

The Birthday's Without Pressure group made it into Jay Leno's monologue.
I'm not sure if there's a way to view it on-line, but apparently he made fun
of the name with a joke something like "help me I can't quit hiring clowns".
That's gotta be some kind of tipping point for cultural penetration.  -
diane 

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- TWO SIDES OF THE STORY

Two Sides Of The Story
HER SIDE OF THE STORY

My husband was in an odd mood Saturday night. We planned to meet at a cafe
for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it
might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised but he
didn't say anything about it. I don't remember doing anything to make him
upset, but I could tell there was something wrong.

The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off to
someplace intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this
restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I was getting really
worried, what did I do? What was bothering him? Was he mad at me?

I tried to cheer him up, but started to wonder what was bothering him. Was
it me or something else? I asked him if he was upset with me, he said no.
But I wasn't really sure. In the car on the way back home, I said that I
loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the
heck that meant because, you know, he didn't say it back or anything. We
finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I
tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV.

Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed. Then after about 10 minutes,
he joined me and to my surprise, we made love. But, he still seemed really
distracted, so afterwards I wanted to confront him but didn't, so I just
cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I
really think he's seeing someone else.

HIS SIDE OF THE STORY

Played badly today --- shot 97 - - -can't putt for crap! Felt kind of tired.

Got laid though.

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