Love Beyond Words/ Secrets of Happily Married Women - 1/10/07

Smartmarriages smartmarriages at
Wed Jan 10 18:27:22 EST 2007



Here's the first advance review of the new Love/Stosny book collaboration,
which will be in book stores on Jan 16th. Or, order it on Amazon:

Get it signed at Smart Marriages Denver where they'll present!

> Newsday (New York)
> January 8, 2007 Monday
> Kristin Taveira
> How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love
> Beyond Words
> AUTHORS: Patricia Love, Ed.D., and Steven Stosny, Ph.D.PUBLISHER/PRICE:
> Broadway Books / $23.95
> Purpose: Advising couples that connection trumps communication when it comes
> to bridging gender differences. Authors' credentials: Love is a therapist,
> speaker and author of "Hot Monogamy" and "The Truth About Love." Stosny is a
> therapist who specializes in men's issues. He is the author of "You Don't Have
> to Take It Anymore: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive
> Relationship Into a Compassionate, Loving One.
> "Excerpt: "The bottom line is: Be there with your partner's feelings. Don't
> ignore them, try to "fix it," or try to talk about it or drag him or her out
> of it."
> Effectiveness: Finally a relationship book the guys can get on board with -
> one that banishes the phrase, "Honey, we need to talk," and encourages (among
> other things) less chatter and more sex! The authors make a tidy case for
> biological differences being the root cause of the nagging wife-stonewalling
> husband cliché that nearly any couple can relate to: Her "tend and befriend"
> instinct drives her to reach out and try to talk to her man during times of
> need. His own hardwiring causes him to bristle in self-defense at those
> moments. So how to bridge the gap? These authors say it's all about respecting
> one another's deepest insecurities; for women, it's the fear of isolation and
> deprivation, and for men it's a dread of failure and shame. Concrete advice,
> exercises and examples show couples how to reconnect - without talking the
> relationship to death.


Scott Haltzman who will present at Smart Marriages Denver tells me his book
"Secrets of Happily Married Men" is now available in paperback AND that he's
hard at work on the research for the companion book on happily married
women.   Here's the press release about his new info-gathering website.
Know many of you on this list are very happily married and should have
plenty to say.  - diane

Psychiatrist Seeks Secrets to Happy Wives on New Web Site
Dateline: January 9, 2007... Providence, RI
Contact Name: Elisabeth N. Galligan, Newberry PR
Contact Phone: (401) 433-5965
Web Address: Web Address:

Dr. Scott Haltzman, Brown University Psychiatrist, wants to learn the
secrets of happily married women.

PROVIDENCE, RI ˆ January 9, 2007

Nearly half of all marriages in America will end in divorce.  When
relationships go sour, it's usually the women who want out.  What
differentiates women who thrive in their marriage from those who are
miserable?  That's what Brown Psychiatrist Scott Haltzman would like to
know, and he's launched a web site to find out.

„When I published The Secrets of Happily Married Men‚ last year, one of the
first questions raised by readers and the press was: Where‚s the companion
book for women?‚‰ says Haltzman, whose book about husbands was chosen by
Time magazine as one of the "Six Books for a Better You in 2006."  In The
Secrets of Happily Married Men, the psychiatrist gathered data from an
Internet research site and included first-hand accounts of men and women in
the book.

After signing a book deal with Jossey-Bass, Haltzman has again turned to the
World Wide Web to search for the secrets of happily married women.  His new
site, invites wives (and husbands) to
contribute the strategies and attitudes that keep marriages thriving.
Haltzman and co-author Theresa Foy DiGeronimo plan to compile the
information in a new book, The Secrets of Happily Married Women, due out
late 2007.

Haltzman, who has been researching marriage for the last seven years, has
already learned many useful tips from women who enjoy marital bliss.  He
notes: Without exception, happy wives recognize of the differences in needs
between men and women, and strive to meet those needs lovingly. Based on his
preliminary findings, Haltzman offers the following tips to women:
* Communication means more than just talk.  Because men are often more
comfortable with using actions to demonstrate emotions, you can better hear
your man‚s expressions of love if you watch for them (and therefore feel
more loved yourself).

* Less is more.  For most husbands, speech that gets directly to the point
is more effective than long explanations. So save yourself the trouble of
lengthy descriptions; he‚s not going to listen anyway. Give him the facts up
front. He listens; you get heard. You‚re both happy!

* Savor your friendships with women.  It‚s natural to have ebbs and flows in
your marital bond. To help you get through the ebb periods, maintain close
ties to female friends. They‚ll help you find a balance in your need for

* Simple pleasures are often best. Sometimes, simply making a home-cooked
meal or a backrub can convert your grizzly husband into a teddy bear; it‚s
so much easier than trying to get him to open up and talk about what‚s
making him cranky. 

* Boost his ego. Men like to feel like they make a big difference in your
life, even when they do trivial things such as opening a jar of peanut
butter. Go ahead and praise the simple things; it‚s an easy way to motivate
him to do even more for you!

Haltzman acknowledges that these recommendations are really just the tip of
the iceberg.   In order to learn what really propels women to great
relationships, I need to hear from the women themselves. The web site is
easy to use, totally confidential, and a place where women can learn from
other women.  I‚m eager to learn out what works, and what doesn‚t work.  If
I can get more women to apply the secrets of happily married women, we can
dramatically reduce divorce rates and have many more couples live happily
ever after.

For more information or to schedule an interview, contact:
Elisabeth N. Galligan, President
Newberry PR
1240 Pawtucket Avenue
East Providence, RI 02916-1427
Phone: (401) 433-5965

Currently in Print: "The Secrets Of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win
Your Wife's Heart Forever" (January 2006, ISBN: 0-7879-7959-7) by Scott
Haltzman, M.D. with Theresa Foy DiGeronimo.Publisher: Jossey-Bass, A Wiley
Imprint Price: $22.95/hardcover

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