Addresses/ Practice Notes/ A "Win" /Teacher's stuff/ Changing/Crocodiles - 2/2/07

Fri Feb 2 19:53:05 EST 2007

- A WHOLE LOT OF MOVIN' GOING ON
- PRACTICE NOTES FROM ACROSS THE COALITION
- SHARING A "WIN" (FROM A FORMER VOLUNTEER)
- TEACHERS/YOUTH LEADERS WIN FREE STUFF
- CHANGING THE CULTURE ONE TUGBOAT AT A TIME
- KISSING CROCODILES

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 A WHOLE LOT OF MOVIN' GOING ON
I asked for changes of addresses and I am STUNNED at how many of you have
moved.  I can definitely see the influence of 1) the new ACF grant money -
people are moving out of their mom/pop shops into office space! And 2) the
military just keeps moving people all over the place.

There is still time to put in orders for bulk shipments of conference
brochures or to send me your change of address.  Just send an email.  -diane
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- PRACTICE NOTES FROM ACROSS THE COALITION

Sharing these two just because it's fun to hear how people take the training
and then put it to work. And, where they do.  The far-flung applications.
These are both from military applications, also interesting in light of our
opening keynote.    - diane

> Diane,
>  
> I attended my first SmartMarriage conference last year and wish I could make
> it this year.  Unfortunately, I am now stationed in Guam (Air Force).  I
> planned on updating you later on address, etc, but now is as good as any:
>  
> I was certified in the 8 Habits curriculum last year with my wife.  We offered
> it to the base in December for a 4-week workshop starting mid-January.  I
> limited it to 10 couples, but we received interest from well over that amount!
> So, we will offer it again. And, the couples who are attending it now seem to
> really enjoy it.  One guy (a technician who works with me as an alcohol
> counselor) says he is using what he learns in the workshop with the guys in
> therapy (and in his marriage, of course).  At a small base on an island in the
> middle of the Pacific, the marriage relationship is so important, and
> hopefully we are making them stronger through the workshops and articles we've
> submitted to the paper!
>  
> Anyway, wish we could attend again this year, but maybe next year!
>  
> Mark A. Taylor
> 
> Diane, Exciting to hear that you'll open the conference with "what can we
> learn form the military."  Interestingly, I first learned about marriage
> education when my husband and I were assigned at Kadena Air Base, Okinawa.  I
> was an intern at the on-base counseling facility, and the therapists used PREP
> with the military couples.  It was apparent how helpful this modality was
> versus marriage counseling/therapy.  Shortly after, when we were reassigned to
> England, I was hired in the Air Force Family Support Center, now called Airman
> and Family Readiness Center. One of the first things my boss did was send me
> to Smart Marriages (Reno/03) to become trained to teach PREP to military
> couples stationed at RAF Mildenhall.  Also while at Mildenhall, I wrote the
> proposal that funded PREP training hosted at our facility, thus we had 21 PREP
> trained facilitators between several bases in England.  Last year we moved to
> Eglin AFB, I am still with the Airman and Family Readiness Center. I recently
> completed Michelle Weiner Davis's TOOB program Marriage Breakthrough, and use
> that with the military couples here.  No doubt, the military is a strong
> proponent of prevention and education.  I look forward to hearing the keynote!
> Lisa Splinter 
> Airman and Family Readiness Center

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- SHARING A "WIN" (FROM A FORMER VOLUNTEER)

This one reminds me to remind you all to encourage your students to apply to
volunteer at the conference.  Like Jennifer, you can also work the training
institutes and "get certified" as an instructor in some great programs. Just
email me for an application.  - diane

> Hi Diane-
>  
> I¹m writing to share a small ³win² which may help inspire others. I¹m a new
> psychologist building a dating and relationship coaching practice in
> Denver. I served as a volunteer for your conference numerous times before
> graduating with my PhD.
>  
> This past week I sent out a press release on "Dump Your Significant Jerk Week"
> (Feb 4-9) which I created out of my new singles workshop Soulmate or
> Stalemate: 6 Steps to Finding Your Perfect Partner. I was invited to do an
> in-studio interview at 7:40 am this Saturday morning (Feb 3) on our local ABC
> TV affiliate Denver channel 7!! Plus, a local mid-size newspaper is doing an
> article featuring me and the class!!
>  
> Although Dump Your Significant Jerk Week may sound negative - it¹s purpose is
> to give people in committed relationships (not marriages!) that aren¹t right
> for them the nudge they need to move on and find the right person for them.
> This exposure will give me a chance to talk about how singles have the power
> to create a lasting, rewarding relationship when they have the courage,
> conviction and knowledge to wait for and choose the right partner. I¹ll also
> be able to plug my How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk workshops (I became a
> certified instructor while volunteering at Smart Marriages).
>  
> Just wanted to share this to let folks know you don¹t have to have a big
> name to get local press, even TV, to take an interest.
>  
> Wish me luck- it¹s my first live interview!
>  
> Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D.
> "Turning Singles Into Successful Couples"
> coupling at couplingconnection.com

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- TEACHERS/YOUTH LEADERS WIN FREE STUFF
Dear Diane -
The "First Comes Love" campaign, the initial activity of the Dibble
Fund's Healthy Marriage Demonstration Grant, is seeking nominations.
We are looking for 200 teachers or youth group leaders from around
the country who interact with youth in a variety of settings.
Successful nominees will receive a best practices youth relationship
and marriage education program worth up to $400. Nominees must teach
at least 30 youth the program by August 30, 2007. Upon successful
completion, the nominee will receive a benchmark payment of $75. The
complete description of the campaign and instructions about how to
nominate oneself or others can be found at our website,
www.BuildingRelationshipSkills.org. Click on the "First Comes Love"
button. Nominations are due no later than February 9th.
Kay Reed
The Dibble Fund

#######################
- CHANGING THE CULTURE ONE TUGBOAT AT A TIME
> While I am dismayed at the Oklahoma statistics, I am
> wondering how long it took to decrease smoking in the
> United States or how long it took us to learn to
> fasten our seatbelts when we drive.  Both efforts were
> about social change. Creating social change took more
> than individual education; there were huge, long-term
> media campaigns; there were laws enacted that made it
> difficult to smoke in public and there were penalties
> imposed for driving without a seat belt.  Has everyone
> stopped smoking, no.  Does everyone fasten their
> seatbelt when they drive, probably not.  What has
> happened, however, is that people have an awareness
> that you participate in these behaviors at your own
> peril and that society does not support or approve of
> these behaviors.  While marriage education can improve
> the quality of individual couples, reducing divorce
> has to be a multi-pronged approach woven into all
> fabrics of society.  We are swimming against a strong
> current when society including the media and public
> policy does not value, honor or support marriage.
> Maybe it is time to approach media moguls about their
> social responsibility to support marriage.  Where are
> the advertisements and public service announcements
> that value marriage?  Maybe it is time to lobby for
> more marriage friendly legislation.  What else can we
> do to build on marriage education?
> 
> Denise Unruh, LMSW
> Kansas      
> 

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- KISSING CROCODILES

Don Fergusion's book "Reptiles in Love" just came out in German with the
title "Krokodile Kuesst Man Nicht" (One Doesn't Kiss Crocodiles).  Too good
not to share.  Don will present at the Smart Marriages Denver Conference.
In English.  - diane

> Reptiles in Love: Escape Your Primitive Brain
> Don Ferguson, PhD
> Normal mind/body defenses protect us in danger, but can damage intimate
> communication. Learn specific steps to self-soothe, and, then, to improve your
> relationship. 

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