Employment Opportunity in SF | Balancing Act | Set your Tivo - 12/10/07

[Smartmarriages]

- MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE PROGRAM SPECIALIST JOB OPENING
- MONDAY MORNING: WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE (AND PUT DOWN THAT MOP)
- "WHEN PARENTS HURT" - MORE ENLIGHTENMENT

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- MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE PROGRAM SPECIALIST JOB OPENING

Here is a link to an HHS Marriage and Family Life Program Specialist job
announcement issued today. Full time/permanent. Applications open until end
of Dec.  Good luck!!  - diane
http://tinyurl.com/2q6jrt

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- MONDAY MORNING: WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE (AND PUT DOWN THAT MOP)

OK, if you're serious about your own marriage or helping others, you need to
take time to read the comments on this Wall St Journal blog.

Here's the lead in about "Mating in Captivity" by Esther Perel:

> November 27, 2007, 9:04 am
> Juggling Career, Kids and a Sex Life
> Posted by Sara Schaefer Munoz
> 
> A new book, ³Mating in Captivity² by Esther Perel, looks at the trouble
> that couples in stable relationships have sustaining intimacy. One chapter,
> about parenthood and sex, seems to especially relate to the juggle.
> 
> The author writes that American parents today are often over-worked and
> overwhelmed, and as a consequence, they ³virtually schedule sex out of their
> lives.² With so many to-do¹s, sex often ends up at the bottom of the list. She
> presents a case study of a patient, who tells her:
> 
> There are the dishes, the laundry, the bills, the dog. The list never ends.
> The chores always seem to win out and intimacy . . . gets lost in the shuffle.
> If someone were to ask me, ŒWhat would you rather do, mop the kitchen or make
> love to your husband?¹ Of course I would pick sex. But in real life? I push
> [him] away and grab that mop.
> 
> The author says this situation is not uncommon ‹ especially among
> over-stressed primary caretakers in families. Yet Ms. Perel says intimacy is
> important in a marriage. One suggestion she makes is to schedule sex ‹ even
> though it may seem unromantic.
> 
> OK Juggle readers, let¹s hear it. How do you handle the competing demands of
> work, chores and children ‹ and still make time for sex? Have you been
> successful in carving out time for yourselves as a couple, or is this
> something that has fallen by the wayside?
> 
> (Of course, finding the time for intimacy is also hard for single parents.
> Tomorrow we¹ll post on that topic. Send your thoughts to thejuggle at wsj.com.)
 
Now, click to READ THE COMMENTS, wake up and smell the coffee, and then buy
the book and sign up for Esther Perel's workshop at Smart Marriages San
Francisco to help your own or the marriages in your community.   And, yes
THE PUBLIC IS WELCOME to attend the entire conference - you do not have to
be a marriage professional to attend. (I had two questions about this and so
many other conference-related questions this weekend - will share them all
in an email soon.)

http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2007/11/27/juggling-career-kids-and-a- sex-life/

########################
- "WHEN PARENTS HURT" - MORE ENLIGHTENMENT

The Today Show has scheduled the Josh Coleman segment for Dec 21st and are
calling it "NOT HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS" about the the pain of parents who
have been cut off from or alienated by their adult children.

Here are testimonials from readers - a wake up about pain many couples are
experiencing ­ one we probably haven't added to classes/courses. Apparently
there's a lot of cut-off out there.....
 

> Diane, Can you please forward this to Joshua Coleman who wrote "When Parents
> Hurt".
> Dear Dr. Coleman: I cried for days over the last few words my daughter said
> before she told me to leave her house.  I felt like I had a knife stuck in my
> chest. I prayed to God for help!  I found your book and I can't believe how
> much better I am feeling. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!
----
> This book helped me realize I was being stupid holding on to grievances I'd
> had with my own parents.  They are 86 & 92 and reading your book has already
> helped mend some rifts there.  They won't be around much longer.   
----
> Thanks for this book. It has been over three years since our daughter decided
> to cut us out of her life. I have finally come to a point of acceptance. I can
> not thank you enough for putting into words the shame and pain we who are
> experiencing this into words and letting us know we are not alone.
-----
> Dear Dr.Coleman   Bravo ,finally someone kept it simple and explained what
> happened to me.
-----
> Dear Dr. Coleman
> I am so grateful for finding your book  When Parents Hurt.  I have been living
> the nightmare and heartbreak of being rejected by my adult Daughter for the
> past 2 1Ž2 going on 3 years.  There is not a day that goes by that I don¹t think
> of my Daughter and my two darling Grandsons ­ the youngest of whom I have
> never met.  
------
> Dr. Coleman,
> I only caught a few minutes of your interview with Diane Rehm last month, but
> it was enough for me to know I had to get your book.  I read it in almost one
> sitting, and have since re-read certain chapters several times over.  While
> reading your book I have cried, laughed and been utterly amazed at how closely
> you describe many of the feelings and situations I am experiencing with my
> son. In the beginning of the book, you list eight different categories of
> people that this book pertains to; I fall into all eight.
---------
> Thank you for providing a book that is getting me thru a very chaotic
> period with my teenage daughter.  

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12th Annual Smart Marriages® Conference, Hilton San Francisco Hotel,
July 2 - 5, 2008  
Pre-Conference Training Institutes June 30-July 2
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 6

List your program and resources on the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html

Order conference audio & video CD/DVD/MP3s: 800-241-7785 or
http://www.iPlaybackSmartMarriages.com

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW, Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332

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