Lovin' Road Show | Love Story | Throw Away the Key | The Marriage Course Newsletter - 8/6/07

[Smartmarriages]

- LAUGH AND LEARN ABOUT LOVIN' ROAD SHOW: IN MICHIGAN
- LOVE STORY COLUMN
- LOCK UP LOVE AND THROW AWAY THE KEY
- THE MARRIAGE COURSE E-NEWSLETTER

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- LAUGH AND LEARN ABOUT LOVIN' ROAD SHOW: IN MICHIGAN

Here is an article about Jim Sheridan's "Laugh and Learn about Lovin' Road
Show" which he's launching as part of a TANF-GRANT-funded marriage
celebration project. This month he'll present the 30 minute "shows" at
various locations. Next month he'll also be trying to get the same shows
into local businesses during lunch hours for their employees as well as to
some of the local service clubs, Kiwanis, Rotary, etc. This as he serves as
a full-time District Judge and as founder/director of Marriages That Work -
among a few hundred other projects.  I know we don't all have the energy of
a Jim Sheridan, but sharing this for inspiration and ideas about what can be
done.  Also, the article is wonderful - written by the divorced Editor of
the local paper. The kind of endorsement we'd all die for.  But it doesn't
take dying - it takes phone calls and connecting.   - diane


Divorce, poverty, and, yes, S-E-X
The Daily Telegram 
July 5, 2007 
Commentary by Mark Lenz, Editor

If you want a light-hearted look at serious topics, you can fly to New York
City and watch ³Cancer! The Musical.²

Or, starting next week, you can stick around Lenawee County and hear
District Judge James Sheridan begin his ³Laugh and Learn About Lovin¹
Roadshow² at several local venues. The first sessions are from 6 to 7 p.m.
Monday at Cakes & Shakes in Blissfield and Wednesday at the Stompin¹ Grounds
Coffee House on U.S. 223 in Adrian. Two sessions are Thursday in Tecumseh ‹
from 5 to 6 p.m. at The Daily Grind and from 6 to 8 p.m. at New Song Church.
A fifth session is from 7 to 8 p.m. Aug. 13 at Wellsville United Methodist
Church in Blissfield.

For people who don¹t know, the judge is the founder of Marriages That Work,
an Adrian-based organization that promotes healthy marriages as an
alternative to divorce. (He also writes a weekly column for the Telegram¹s
Life in Style section, and has coordinated marriage programs through local
churches.)

Understanding marriages requires understanding your partner. Sheridan¹s
presentation includes a Powerpoint show that helps illustrate how women are
crock pots while men are microwave ovens.

³What¹s crazy about it is half of this stuff is common sense,² Sheridan
said. ³It means looking at your spouse with respect, and using the
differences as strengths.²

While there¹s no contempt in this court, there is a serious side. Statistics
show that one in five children are classified as living in poverty. This
week Congress debated a plan to expand to a larger segment of the population
government-funded children¹s medical coverage.

An even bigger predictor of poverty, though, is divorce. Sheridan said one
in three children from divorced families live in poverty, and the Heritage
Foundation reports the household income for families with children drops an
average of 42 percent after a divorce.

That¹s part of the message being spread by Marriages That Work¹s new
campaign: ³Better Health, Greater Wealth, Better Lovin¹ ‹ Get it Married.²
If it seems odd for a divorced editor to promote this campaign, consider it
the voice of experience. If you want to live with the heat turned way down,
eat dandelions and drive old cars, go through a divorce. Married couples
have longer lifespans, higher household incomes and their children
experience many of the same benefits plus lower dropout rates. 

In other words, by seeing one judge now instead of a different one later,
you can help make a huge difference in fighting problems such as childhood
poverty.

And you¹ll probably hear a few humorous observations about that word we dare
not discuss in the newspaper. Just don¹t make me promise that it¹s better
than a New York musical.

http://lenconnect.com/articles/2007/08/05/news/news06.prt

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- LOVE STORY COLUMN

Here's another idea you might borrow: start a "Love Story" column in your
local newspaper or newsletter. Great way to get your points across. - d

> #757-010 - order at 800-241-7785
> Tools of the Trade: Showcase
> Julie Baumgardner, MS, CFLE, Dennis Stoica, MBA
> Explore everything under the sun - billboards, PSAs, websites, games, quizzes,
> brochures - all kinds of tools and strategies to help us float our Marriage
> Education boat.

Love story: From forbidden love to a lasting marriage
Kansas City Star
August 5, 2007
By DEBORAH SHOUSE

Tong Bui noticed Kim Tang right away. It was 1988, and she was the only
other person from Asia in the Atlanta beauty college they were both
attending. Tong, then 20, thought she was cute.

They began talking after school. Tong had been in the United States two
years, having fled Vietnam on a boat. He spent a week in the ocean, not
knowing whether he would live or die. His desire to get out of Vietnam and
help his family kept him going. He arrived in the states with only the
clothes on his back.

At age 13, Kim had come from Cambodia to Maryland. She arrived in winter
with no shoes and no coat. Her Chinese mother didn¹t trust Vietnamese men
and had long forbidden Kim to go out with such a man.

But Kim, who was 18 when she met Tong, was becoming friends with him.

³He was very polite and family-oriented,² Kim says. ³I thought he was a nice
guy.²

Tong wanted to get closer to Kim. ³I knew she was important to me,² he says.

But getting closer was a problem.

³I had to hide my relationship,² Kim says.

They met after school and spent time talking or hanging out with friends.
Kim always took her 10-year-old niece with her as a chaperone. After she had
gone out with Tong for eight months, her family found her out, and her
mother threatened to move to get Kim away from Tong.

But Kim refused.

³I went to Kim¹s house and began talking to Kim¹s mom,² Tong says. ³After
she got to know me, she knew I was a good boy. And after that she loved me a
lot.²

The couple married in 1989, with the blessings of both families.

They put their beauty school skills and their work ethic to good use, first
opening salons in Atlanta, then moving to Kansas City, where they own and
operate Nail Perfection in Mission. Their three children also occasionally
help out in the salon.

Kim and Tong like working together. They are also dedicated to helping
others. Together they have brought more than 18 relatives to the United
States, helping each become established in the Kansas City area.

Despite their busy work schedule, they make sure they have family time. They
like to bicycle, have coffee and hang out with their kids.

Their dedication to family, their shared work ethic, their willingness to
communicate and their love and respect for each other have kept their
marriage vibrant and strong.

³I want to live the rest of my life with her,² Tong says.

Deborah Shouse is a freelance writer for Star Magazine. Have a love story to
share? Send a brief description to lovestory at kcstar.com

http://www.kansascity.com/238/story/211480.html

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- LOCK UP LOVE AND THROW AWAY THE KEY

And, here's another "idea" you might adapt - create a "love bridge" in your
home town or at some marriage event.  This article made the front page of
this morning's New York Times with a color photo -- I could see some
marriage initiative coming up with a similar idea about commitment and
throwing the keys in a pond or river.  I realize this bridge story has
shades of the terrible bridge collapse in Minneapolis and apologize about
that connection. All of our many Smart Marriages colleagues in Minneapolis
are present and accounted for, btw, though many are badly shaken having
driven over that very bridge just hrs before the collapse.

For an incredible smorgasbord of marriage marketing ideas and resources
order the keynote roundup presented by Julie Baumgardner and Dennis Stoica.
It makes it dazzlingly clear that we've come a long way, baby.    - d

  
August 6, 2007
Rome Journal
In Rome, a New Ritual on an Old Bridge
By IAN FISHER

ROME, Aug. 5 ‹ Love, in all its splendor and mess, found a fit expression on
Rome¹s oldest bridge last year. Inspired by a best-selling book, then the
movie version, young couples wrote their names on a padlock. They chained
their locks around lampposts on Ponte Milvio. Then they symbolically cut off
escape by tossing the keys into the wine-dark Tiber below.

But reality quickly set in, as it often does after passion. Thousands of
locks and chains piled up. The lamps atop two light posts crumbled under the
weight. Neighbors complained of vandalism. Politicians who tried to solve
the problem were accused ‹ and this is bad in Italy ‹ of being anti-love.

For full story w/ photo:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/06/world/europe/06rome.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

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- THE MARRIAGE COURSE E-NEWSLETTER

One of the highlights of the Denver Smart Marriages conference was the
opening banquet by Nicky and Sila Lee at which they presented their
Impact-award-winning MARRIAGE COURSE. In response to popular demand, they've
just published their first e-newsletter for program leaders filled with news
you can use including tips on how to run a stress free course, press clips,
etc.  Read it at:  http://tinyurl.com/2anbpv

You can order a video DVD, audio CD or download the audio recording of the
banquet session at 800-241-7785 or at http://www.iplaybacksmartmarriages.com

> #757-001
> The Marriage Course
> Nicky and Sila Lee, MA
> This practical teach-out-of-the-box course, an offshoot of the
> famed Alpha course, uses a video-based dinner format that is
> easy for lay couples to teach, transforms and strengthens marriage,
> and draws couples in ³like magic².

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