Strong marriages key to strong parenting - 4/1707

[Smartmarriages]

-  This research is so supportive of our mission that it feels like we
funded it. Another "keeper" to file.

Any marriage skills course will strengthen the marriage and prepare couples
for becoming new parents, which is why I say that a marriage course is the
BEST marriage gift you can give and is also the BEST new baby gift you can
give.  (for sample certificates:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/giftcertificates.html )

Plus three "new parent" curricula will be presented at Denver Smart
Marriages that combine marriage skills with skills for first-time parents:
Love's Cradle, Bringing Baby Home, and Becoming Parents.  Every Community
Marriage Initiative, congregation, military base should have a new parent
curricula in its repertoire.  - diane

> 104 Three Days - Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday, June 26, 27, 28
> Bernard Guerney's Relationship Enhancement (RE),
> Mastering the Magic of Love & Love¹s Cradle Programs
> Mary Ortwein, MS
> A Bonanza! Qualify to teach THREE programs: the original Classic RE plus two
> new simplified programs, Mastering the Magic of Love, and Love's Cradle (for
> couples with an infant). Plus add-on special focus seminars. Ideal for
> low-income, community or church based. Spanish version available. $150 spouse
> discount. Click for more information: http://www.smartmarriages.com/re.html

> 106 Three Days - Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday, June 26, 27, 28
> Bringing Baby Home: Become a Certified Gottman Educator!
> Carolyn Pirak, MSW, Joni Parthemer, MEd
> This research-based workshop developed by John Gottman, teaches pregnant and
> new parent couples the essential skills for a successful transition to
> parenthood. Help couples maintain intimacy, regulate conflict and understand
> their baby's cues. $150 spouse discount. Click for more information including
> reading prerequisites: http://www.smartmarriages.bbh.html

> 316 - Friday, June 29, Denver
> The Becoming Parents Program
> Pamela Jordan, PhD, RN
> Teach first-time parents PREP and SAVE relationship skills, self-care, baby
> care and how parenthood will change their lives.

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- STRONG MARRIAGE HELPS COUPLES DEAL WITH TEMPERMENTAL BABY

Strong Marriage Helps Couples Deal With Tempermental Baby
Science Daily
April 17, 2007 

Science Daily ‹ Couples with infants who are particularly fussy or difficult
typically do just fine as parents ­ as long as they have a strong marital
relationship.

A new study found that a couple's relationship with each other was key in
determining how they reacted as parents when faced with a temperamental
baby. ³When couples with a supportive marital relationship have a difficult
baby, they tend to rise to the challenge,² said Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan,
co-author of the study and assistant professor of human development and
family science at Ohio State University.

³Couples who don't have a strong relationship with each other are more
likely to undermine each other and get into conflicts when they have to deal
with a particularly challenging baby.²

Schoppe-Sullivan conducted the study with Sarah Mangelsdorf and Geoffrey
Brown of the University of Illinois, and Margaret Szewczyk Sokolowski of
Minneapolis. Their results were published in a recent issue of the journal
Infant Behavior & Development.

Schoppe-Sullivan said there has been surprisingly little study about how the
characteristics of an infant can affect how couples interact as parents ­
what researchers call the ³coparenting relationship.²

While there have been studies examining how mothers themselves deal with
difficult babies, this study focused on how mothers and fathers work
together as parents. ³We wanted to find out how coparenting is affected when
a couple has a child who cries a lot, cries intensely, and has trouble
adjusting to new situations and new circumstances,² she said.

The study involved 97 couples from Illinois who were expecting a baby
(two-thirds of them were having their first child). About three months
before the child was born, the couples participated in a 2-hour home
assessment. They completed a series of questionnaires, and were videotaped
participating in a discussion with each other. Researchers later viewed the
videotapes and rated how the couples related to each other, looking for
items such as how often they smiled at each other or showed irritation.

>From the videotape, researchers rated the quality of each couple's marital
relationship. Researchers conducted a second home-based assessment when
their infants were about 3.5 months old. The parents completed
questionnaires rating their child's temperament, and the researchers also
rated temperament based on their home visit. In addition, the parents were
videotaped interacting with their infant, including free play and changing
their infant's clothes together.

Researchers watched the videotapes and rated how well the couples cooperated
with each other when playing with their infant and changing his or her
clothes, and how well they seemed to get along while dealing with the baby.

The results showed that couples who showed a good marital relationship
before the birth seemed to do better when dealing with a fussy and
uncooperative baby when compared to those couples whose relationship was not
as good.

Couples who did not have a strong relationship were more critical of each
other when dealing with a challenging infant, according to Schoppe-Sullivan.
³They are more likely to say things to their partner like ŒDon't hold the
baby that way.' Or they will compete with each other to get the baby's
attention. They tend to undermine each other's efforts,² she said.

In previous research, Schoppe-Sullivan and her colleagues found that the
quality of coparenting has long-term effects on children. When couples are
poor coparents, they are more likely to have children who show aggressive
and inappropriate behavior at home and school.

³It is not just what the mother is doing, or just what the father is doing,
but how they handle parenting together,² she said. ³Even if you have one
parent who is very good with their children, if the other parent is
undermining their partner, or not being supportive, the outcomes for their
children may not be as good.²

In addition, the researchers have found that the marital relationship and
the coparenting relationship, while related, are not the same thing. In
other words, some couples may have a good relationship with each other, but
still not be as good as coparents ­ and that could hurt their children in
the long run.

In addition, the researchers have found that coparenting relationships
affect later marital quality, Schoppe-Sullivan said. ³The quality of a
coparenting relationship is important for both the children and for the
couple's marital relationship,² she said.

Note: This story has been adapted from a news release issued by Ohio State
University.


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11th Annual Smart Marriages Conference, Denver Adam's Mark Hotel,
June 28-July 1, 2007
Download a brochure: http://www.smartmarriages.com/Brochure.07.pdf


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