TOOB Frustration/ Laughter brings them in!/ Fathers marginalized/Additional Info - 4/9/07

[Smartmarriages]

- TOOB FRUSTRATION 
- MARRIAGE SEMINAR FOCUSES ON LAUGHTER
- FATHERS MARGINALIZED: LANGUAGE MATTERS
- ADDITIONAL INFO ON WORKSHOPS

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- TOOB FRUSTRATION 

> Hello,
> We would like to know what the cost for the materials for the TOOB program
> kits are and are having a difficult time finding the answer. We signed up for
> three TOOBs (202, 507, 707) and need to plan how much we are going to spend on
> these materials. There is no link to these three program kits.  Please advise
> as soon as possible.
> Dave Koolbeck
> Office Manager

I apologize that certain of the programs, in fact all three of the ones you
name, have not yet sent me a link to their site so that attendees can order
their programs in advance.  However, it is not required that you order the
program in advance.  You can take the Toob training in Denver and decide at
the conference whether or not you wish to order the teach-out-of-the-box
kits. Revisit the Toobs page from time-to-time and see if their program
titles get linked. I've notified each program numerous times, not much else
I can do at this end.  If it is finally linked, click on the title of the
program to be taken to their order page. Also, check the links to the
various TOOB programs for special "Smart Marriages" discounts that will
expire after June 30th.  You do not have to attend the conference or these
trainings to purchase the "teach out of the box" kits at these special
conference prices. That's the whole point, Toobs are teach out of box, no
training required.  We offer the Toob sessions at the conference because it
as practical luxury to be able to spend time with the founders of the
programs.   http://www.smartmarriages.com/toobs.html  - diane

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- MARRIAGE SEMINAR FOCUSES ON LAUGHTER

> Up to 900 people are expected to attend the first two-day seminar set for 7-10
> p.m. Friday and 9 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. April 14.
> 
Sounds to me like a case of "build it and they WILL come"... - diane


Marriage seminar focuses on laughter Green Bay Press Gazette April 7, 2007
By Corinthia McCoy cmccoy at greenbaypressgazette.com

The host of an upcoming marriage seminar doesn't believe in soul mates.

"The key to a successful relationship is not finding the right person," said
Pastor Mark Gungor. "It's doing the right thing."

Gungor, a pastor at Celebration Church, formally known as Bayside Church,
3475 Humboldt Road, offers a new approach to marriage seminars in Laugh Your
Way to a Better Marriage scheduled for Friday and Saturday, April 13-14.

Up to 900 people are expected to attend the first two-day seminar set for
7-10 p.m. Friday and 9 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. April 14.

Sessions include The Tale of Two Brains, The Number One Key to Incredible
Sex, Why Does He/She Do That, and How to Stay Married and Not Kill Anybody.

"The atmosphere is more like a stand-up comedy rather than a seminar,"
Gungor said.

Gunger, who started the seminar in church, has toured the nation and
traveled abroad with his approach for about six years, he said.

Gunger said women file for divorce 80 percent of the time, and traditional
marriage counseling fails 80 percent of the time.

Traditional counseling focuses on what's wrong in a relationship and tries
to change the person, he said.

"If a husband, boyfriend or whatever really understands your heart, he can
succeed with you," he said.
*****************
And, you have three chances to see Mark Gungor at Smart Marriages. One of
the things that delights me at Mark's workshops is how many in the audience
are repeat attendees. Once hooked, people can't get enough and go back each
year.  I guess in part for the sheer pleasure of laughing out loud but as
one attendee told me, "to try to learn his techniques - how to deliver this
dead serious information in a way that people can laugh and learn - 'the
spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down' approach." - diane

> 314 - Fri afternoon, June 29
> Tackling the Myths
> Mark Gungor
> Reexamine many of the concepts ­ soul mate, romance, benefits of delayed
> marriage ­ accepted as fact by our culture ­ and even many in the marriage
> movement.

> 704 - Sun morning, July 1
> The #1 Key to Incredible Sex
> Mark Gungor
> Learn a humorous and incredibly effective approach to understanding the
> misinformation that kills off sex and passion, and how to turn things around.

> 801 - Sun afternoon, July 1
> The Flag Page: What¹s Right About You
> Mark Gungor
> Learn how to quickly understand your partner & kids¹ most positive motivations
> and use these insights to reduce conflict and increase success and happiness.

Flag Page was a banquet last year.  VERY enlightening.  I encourage you all
to stop by the Laugh Your Way exhibit and do a FREE Flag Page and bring it
with you to this workshop #801.  I loved doing my flag page.  Now I get it,
I'm not crazy, I'm just very OPTIMISTIC and dedicated (like a train). -
diane 

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- FATHERS MARGINALIZED: LANGUAGE MATTERS

Fathers shouldn't be lumped in with day-care centers
Lexington Herald-Leader
April 9, 2007 
By Neil Chethik

The federal government made a splash recently with its newest study of
American children who attend day care at an early age. The research showed
that day-care kids are more argumentative in grade school but have better
vocabularies than most of their classmates.

Just as important was what didn't make the headlines. In the fine print of
the study -- funded by the U.S. government's National Institutes of Health
-- was the definition of "child care" that the study adopted. Lumped
together with care provided by preschools and day-care centers was care
provided by the child's father.

That's right. If your mother stayed home with you, you were cared for by
your parent. However, if your father stayed home with you, according to the
NIH study, you are the product of "child care."

Most child-care workers and fathers will likely shrug off this insult. But
we shouldn't. When you're trying to change the culture, language matters.

Ironically, the federal government is spending $50 million each year on its
Promoting Responsible Fatherhood Initiative. The Department of Health and
Human Services argues that the active involvement of a father raises a
child's school performance, lowers drug and alcohol abuse and contributes to
the child's long-term happiness in life.

And yet, American society continues to marginalize fathers, usually in
subtle ways.

A 2005 Gannon University study, for example, found that the most popular
child-rearing books used mother twice as often as father when referring to
parenting in general. According to the study, even when the authors used
gender-neutral language, it was usually clear that they were speaking to
mothers. Why else would they suggest parental stress-management techniques
that included "getting one's nails done" and "talking with a girlfriend"?

It is true that mothers still perform the bulk of the hands-on child-raising
in American families. Thus, one could argue that the words of child-rearing
authors, and NIH researchers, merely reflect the reality on the ground.

That's the problem. We're trying to change the reality. If we want men to
participate more in the daily acts of parenting, let's not refer to what
they do as child care or, worse, baby-sitting.

Fortunately, the NIH study did examine the differences between children
whose fathers stayed home with them and those whose mothers stayed home. And
-- no surprise -- children turn out equally well whichever parent is around
the house.

I could go on about this topic, but I'll stop now. My son arrives home from
school in a few minutes, and I've got some child care to perform.

********
Hear Neil, author of:
VoiceMale: What Men Really Think About Their Marriages
FatherLoss: How Men Deal With the Deaths of Their Dads
www.NeilChethik.com
at Smart Marriages Denver:

> 619 - Sunday Morning, July 1
> Where Are the Men?
> Neil Chethik
> Learn practical marketing steps to encourage men to attend classes by creating
> a male-friendly atmosphere that will keep them engaged and working on their
> marriage. 

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- ADDITIONAL INFO ON WORKSHOPS

Diane
I am using the weekend to try to register for Denver. There are so many
great sessions - makes it hard!  Can you give me a better idea of what the
Susan Page spiritual "action skills" are about? Would these work in a
secular setting?  Also, what about the Jason Krafsky workshop.  These are
both new to me. Appreciate any additional info you might have.
Mason

I realize the workshop descriptions in the brochure and on the website are
painfully brief. Maybe in the future I can figure a way to post the entire
workshop applications of those selected.  But here is info about the two you
asked about. - diane
 
> 604 - Sunday, July 1
> Spiritual Partnership Groups
> Susan Page, MDiv 
> Teach Spiritual Partnership Groups using the ³Talking is Not Enough² Loving
> Actions skills that lead to rapid, permanent change, even when working with
> only one spouse.

Here are the Eight Loving Actions. Also, I listened to Susan Page's workshop
recording from Atlanta 2006 and can tell you her approach would work well in
any setting - and in clinical practice.  She had one of the top rated
sessions in Atlanta - lots of practical illustrations about how to use the
skills and with many evaluations suggesting it should be a keynote - the
highest praise.  - diane

> The Eight Loving Actions are
> 1. Adopt a spirit of good will
> 2. Give up "problem solving"
> 3. "Act as if" 
> 4. Practice Restraint
> 5. Balance giving and taking
> 6. Act on your own
> 7. Practice acceptance
> 8. Practice compassion
-------------------------
> 415 - Sat, June 30
> Rewiring Premarital Preparation
> Jason Krafsky
> Less than a third of engaged couples avail themselves of our services. How to
> update what you offer and, how you offer it, to fit the needs of, and appeal
> to, 21st century ³wired² couples.

This is a brand new presentation this year.  Here is info from his
application: 

Prepare TODAY'S Couples for Marriage Success
a. Today¹s engaged couples need pre-marital education, but do they want it?
A 2004 survey found that only 1/3 of ever married couples received
pre-marital education.  Less than half of those who received it rated it as
³very helpful.²   Long-distance relationships, remarriages accounting for
43% of weddings, delayed marriage, and rising cohabitation rates don¹t fit
most programs created for young, first time marriages.
 
The opportunity can be seized, but only if programs mired in 20th century
approaches can accept 21st century realities and adapt accordingly.  This
workshop will explore the current demographics of today¹s marrying
population, the diversity of pre-marital resources to reach all types of
couples, how to create an effective (and inviting) program, and must-do
MARKETING tactics to reach more pre-engaged and engaged couples. This
workshop will have a small amount of faith-related discussion due to the
amount of churches conducting pre-marital education, but nothing offensive
to secular practitioners
 
Learn new approaches to transform your pre-marital program and the couples
who participate in it.  Receive vital demographics, innovative program
strategies, and helpful tools to reach more pre-married couples and give
them the best chances to go to the distance.


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11th Annual Smart Marriages Conference, Denver Adam's Mark Hotel,
June 28-July 1, 2007
Download a brochure: http://www.smartmarriages.com/Brochure.07.pdf


List your program and resources on the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com

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Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW, Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332

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