Tivo: CBS Early Show/Currents/ Soul Healers/Positive Attribution/ Indiana - 9/14/06

Thu Sep 14 10:04:43 EDT 2006

- SET YOUR TIVO: DIVORCE AND DIVORCE PREVENTION ON CBS THE EARLY SHOW
- CURRENTS NEWSLETTER
- SOUL HEALERS COUPLES WEEKEND
- PAT LOVE'S KEYNOTE
- RESEARCH STUDY - PARTICIPANTS NEEDED
- INDIANA DIVORCE NUMBERS LACKING (OR, NEWS OF THE ABSURD.....)

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- SET YOUR TIVO: DIVORCE AND DIVORCE PREVENTION ON CBS THE EARLY SHOW

THE CBS Early Show is doing a series on Divorce with a final segment on
Friday (tomorrow 9/15) on Divorce Prevention.  I may be on the Friday
segment (or, may end up on cutting room floor), but at least it looks like
they will end with a bit of optimism and "marriage education" solutions.

Sorry I didn't get this to you earlier.  Wed's segment "Making
Divorce Easier on the Kids" on the complexities of 50-50 custody
arrangements and featuring Elizabeth Marquardt and Thursday's on "Parental
Alienation" were both excellent and can be viewed on the CBS
website:  http://www.cbsnews.com  Then click Early Show and then click on
divorce stories under whatever header they have listed.

Fridays on "Divorce Prevention" should air between 7:30 and 8:30am.

I have been trying to get this to the list along with several other posts
but the list is "broken" - we think we have a fix and hope this will go
through.  And, you'll also get a bunch of stuff all at once if it's fixed.
The agony and ecstasy of technology. - diane
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- CURRENTS NEWSLETTER

Diane, to get to the latest edition of the National Healthy Marriage
Resource Center newsletter, "Currents," which is designed to keep
practitioners up-to-date on the latest important research related to forming
and sustaining healthy marriages, go to http://www.healthymarriageinfo.org
and click on "Research & Trends" and then on "Currents: Healthy Marriage
Research Bulletin." Or go directly to:

http://www.healthymarriageinfo.org/research/?d={3BAC5777-B193-4748-85B7-5813
C687F70B}

Alan Hawkins, PhD, CFLE
Brigham Young University

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- SOUL HEALERS COUPLES WEEKEND
with Drs. Beverly and Tom Rodgers
OCT 27 - 29 - Charlotte, North Carolina
Scholarship help available. For info: 704 364-9176 or
http://www.SoulHealingLove.com
Learn: How your childhood affects your marriage/How to resolve conflict,
deal with anger, enhance empathy, foster forgiveness, and
problem solve in a healthy way/How to put fun, romance, and play back into
your marriage!!

Sample the Rodgers work by listening to the recordings of their highly-rated
sessions at the Smart Marriages Conference: order at 800-241-7785

> 756-302
> Soul Healers Leaders Training – MINI
> Beverly Rodgers, PhD, Tom Rodgers, PhD
> Practical, easy-to-learn tools for professionals or lay mentors to help
> couples that face even the most difficult, on-the-brink problems: adultery,
> addiction, abuse or other deep wounds.

> 756-505
> Why Singles Aren't Marrying
> Beverly Rodgers, PhD, Tom Rodgers, PhD
> Learn how to bust the myths that keep scared-silly singles stuck in unhealthy
> relationship patterns by equipping them with skills and information that will
> help them move confidently towards marriage.

> 756-814
> Adult Children of Divorce: Change Your Odds
> Beverly Rodgers, PhD, Tom Rodgers, PhD
> According to research, children of divorce are less likely to marry, and if
> and when they do, face higher divorce rates. Learn important steps to change
> your odds.

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- PAT LOVE'S KEYNOTE

> Diane, Please extend my thanks to Pat Love for posting her keynote!  I was
> sure, as I am preparing a facilitator training for a program for divorced
> Catholics, that I was going to have to listen, listen, and listen again to the
> CD of her keynote in order to get the gems that she shared.  I intend on
> sharing them (and GLADLY giving credit where credit is due!).  Once again,
> SmartMarriages has proven its worth a million fold!!  THANK YOU for this
> brainchild of a group, and for persevering for the cause of marriage. -Dale
> Powers
> 
So much gratitude which I will pass on to Pat and so many questions from
those of you that missed it, or didn't realize you have to click on the link
to get the text: http://www.smartmarriages.com/PatLove.BreakingCycle.html

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- RESEARCH STUDY - PARTICIPANTS NEEDED

> Couples sought for confidential study on Stress and Romantic Relationships.
> Cohabiting couples in committed long-term relationships (married or not)
> are eligible. Couples will complete a series of internet surveys (taking
> approximately 1 hour total) over 9 months, and will receive $50 for their
> time.  For more information, visit:
>  
> http://myweb.facstaff.wwu.edu/~graham7/research/info.htm
>  
> James Graham, PhD, Department of Psychology, Western Washington University,
> Bellingham, WA 

This study will follow up on an earlier study done by Graham for which we
requested participants on this list.  Maybe you participated. Here is a
description of the earlier study: Wedding vows ask us to promise "for better
and worse".  That's because all marriages will face stress. And, just as
with disagreements, it's how couples handle stress that can make all the
difference and help couples grow in love and avoid divorce.  Graham examined
factors that better help couples endure stress. He found that even though
stress has a negative impact on the quality of a marriage, not all couples
are created equal.  Couples who are able to make positive attributions or
interpretations about their spouses' problem behaviors are able to maintain
a high-quality marriage even in the face of stressful events.  The earlier
research was just published in the Personal Relationships journal.  You can
read it at: 
http://myweb.facstaff.wwu.edu/~graham7/articles/AttributionVSA.pdf

If you are a married or cohabiting couple you can help with the continuation
of this research - it's interesting, important stuff. I hope you'll take the
time.   - diane 

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- INDIANA DIVORCE NUMBERS LACKING (OR, NEWS OF THE ABSURD.....)
The Journal Gazette (Fort Wayne Indiana)
Sep. 10, 2006    
By Niki Kelly

> Other states that don’t track divorce data are California, Georgia, Hawaii and
> Louisiana.

Yearly data inaccurate

INDIANAPOLIS – Statistics on marriage and divorce are everywhere.

For instance, the Indiana State Department of Health reports that 2,279
marriages took place on a particular Tuesday in 2002.

And the U.S. Census Bureau estimates that 237,913 divorced men live in
Indiana.

Oddly though, there is no annual divorce rate for Indiana; no way to
accurately tell how many people got divorced in Indiana last year or any
other year.

In fact, national reports on divorce statistics contain an “n/a” next to
Indiana – data not available.

To some, the lack of data is an interesting side note, but several lawmakers
expressed concern that some legislation is pushed based on an assumption of
a high divorce rate.

“It certainly seems to me that it’s a statistic we ought to track,
especially in connection to keeping families intact,” House Speaker Brian
Bosma said.

In fact, Bosma insisted the non-partisan Legislative Services Agency has
such a number, noting that a 50 percent divorce rate is often cited in
testimony on bills before the General Assembly.

The Legislative Services Agency, though, ran into the same problem, noting
that most states have divorce rates per 1,000 members of the population
while information for Indiana is not available.

Other states that don’t track divorce data are California, Georgia, Hawaii
and Louisiana.

State Court Administration – a division of the Indiana Supreme Court – keeps
all kinds of statistics and one of them comes close to tracking Hoosier
divorces but is not totally accurate.

That might be why national and state information centers – including the
federal Division of Vital Statistics – aren’t using the statistics, said Tom
Carusillo – director of trial court services for State Court Administration.

He noted that divorce cases are filed in county courthouses under a domestic
relations heading.

In 2004, according to the Indiana Judicial Service Report, 37,410 domestic
relations cases were filed and 36,138 were disposed. The numbers differ
because many cases span a significant time period.

But the problem is that domestic relations cases aren’t just divorces –
technically called dissolutions in Indiana.

They also include legal separations, which are rare, and more typical
petitions to establish child support. On occasion, grandparents even file
for custody under this heading.

There is no way, Carusillo said, to know how many of those domestic
relations cases actually are divorces on a statewide basis.

“I don’t know if anyone has ever sat down and thought about it,” he said.

Rep. Robert Kuzman, a Democrat and an attorney from Crown Point, finds the
situation ironic.

He noted the recent GOP push to change Indiana’s Constitution to bar gays
from marrying, a debate that often centers on protecting the sanctity of
marriage.

And he said several covenant marriage bills have been filed over the years
with the purpose of reducing divorce.

“They are presenting arguments on why we should do this, but we don’t have
the statistics to back it up,” Kuzman said.

Sen. Dennis Kruse, R-Auburn, was shocked that divorce information is not
available. As author of several bills against no-fault divorce, he said he
was always told Indiana had the second- or third-highest divorce rate in the
country.

And now he plans to correct the problem by drafting legislation requiring
the state to track it.

“I think we ought to know how many marriages fail in our state so we can
take action to try to correct it and see if it’s getting worse or better,”
he said. “Marriage and family is the basis of a strong society, and we want
marriages to last.”

Allen County Superior Magistrate Tom Boyer said, anecdotally, he thinks the
incidence of divorce is dropping in Indiana. He relates this directly to the
rising number of paternity cases and decreasing marriage licenses.

“It’s a function of fewer people getting married,” he said. “More people are
electing to live together outside of marriage, which leads to paternity
cases and as a result fewer divorces.”

Allen County Circuit Judge Tom Felts said that although the state doesn’t
break down the domestic relations cases, Allen County has a computer system
that does.

For instance, there were 1,812 domestic relations cases filed in Allen
County last year with 1,675 of those being dissolutions of marriages.

Since 2001, domestic relations cases have dropped 3.9 percent while
dissolution cases have dropped 2.7 percent.

“It’s just unusual to me that this is the case because the question about
whether there has been an increase of divorce cases comes up time to time.
It would be nice to know,” Felts said. “You always hear 50 percent or 40
percent but before you just throw those figures out you’d like to know with
more certainty that they are correct.”

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