Private Funding: Seattle/Dancing w/ the Stars/ Pre-Nups and Designer Marriages - 10/13/06

[Smartmarriages]

- PRIVATE FOUNDATION FUNDING: SEATTLE
- PORN AND MARRIAGE
- 'I DO! - IF WE HAVE SEX EVERYDAY'

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- PRIVATE FOUNDATION FUNDING: SEATTLE

> Diane, 
> The White Center community in Seattle WA has received a large amount of
> funding from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation and Thrive by Five to
> improve the quality of early child care and education. The project, the White
> Center Early Learning Initiative, has 12 workgroups focusing on areas of early
> care including: center based infant, toddler and preschool services, parenting
> education/engagement, family support, family friend and neighbor care,
> prenatal care, transitioning to school, mental health, professional
> development, early intervention, etc.
> 
> The parent education and family support workgroups may be of particular
> interest to marriage educators in the Seattle area. If anyone in the Seattle
> area is interested is becoming involved, contact the WCELI Planning Director
> Lori Pittam at (425) 917-7759 or at lpittman at psesd.org
> Jenne Alderks

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- PORN AND MARRIAGE

Diane, 
I wonder if you know about the show "Dancing with the Stars". Millions watch
each week and, like American Idol, it's on two nights a week.  One of the
more popular stars just withdrew from the show because she is filing for
divorce.  She said she needed to devote time to her family and her three
young children. I think she also needs to do this to be sure she is around
and wins custody of the children. My point in pointing this out to you is
that the news is full of this because of the popularity of the show and the
news is quite graphic revealing the court filing papers.  It's all over TV,
radio and newspapers.  I imagine this will lead to many couples facing their
own issues around porn and that they will be seeking help from counselors
and pastors on your list who should be informed. I also want to suggest that
you should make a link from your smartmarriages.com home page like the one
you have for "Infidelity - You CAN Recover". Make it "Your Marriage Can
Survive Porn" and list resources, especially the Mark Gungor and Mark Laaser
sessions from Atlanta.  Anyway, if you think this is worth sharing with the
list, here is a link to one of the featured stories that spells it out in
sickening detail.  
CS

Court documents state husband's adultery, pornography reasons for Sara Evans
divorce
http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061013/ENTERTAINMENT0
6/61013002

You're right, porn is becoming such a big issue that I should probably
create a web page with resources.  Here are several EXCELLENT recordings
from Atlanta.  Each one of these adds a piece to the solution.  - diane

> 756-P5
> KEYNOTE: Porn Addiction - available on DVD, CD, MP3
> Mark Laaser, PhD, MDiv
> Porn has become the #1 seller on the internet and extremely damaging to
> marriage. Learn to recognize the symptoms and to prevent and help overcome
> addiction to internet sex.
> 
> 756-801 Masters Session - available on DVD, CD, MP3
> The Number One Key to Incredible Sex
> Mark Gungor
> Learn a humorous and incredibly effective approach to
> understanding the misinformation that kills off sex and
> passion, and how to turn things around.
> 
> 756-608 - available on CD, MP3
> Married Sex for Men
> Michael Metz, PhD, Barry McCarthy, PhD
> Ten things men need to learn to deal with the common
> problems ­ low desire, porn addiction, erectile dysfunction,
> premature ejaculation, etc. ­ to build a healthy, pleasurable
> sex life.
> 
> 756-714
> Love and Sex Addiction - available on CD, MP3
> Jon Marsh, Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW
> 12-steps is not for everyone.  Learn how to use the skills
> and value-based PRIDE recovery model for transitioning
> couples from traumatic discovery of a love/sex addiction
> to healthy partnership.

Each of the 2 hour sessions was recorded live at the
10th Annual 2006 Smart Marriages Conference and is available on
CD or MP3 for $15 each at 800-241-7785 or at
http://www.iplaybacksmartmarriages.com

CDs $15 each.
Downloads are $9.95 each.
DVDs are  - $29.95 .

#########################
(And, this article explains why the sex and infidelity sessions at the Smart
Marriages Conference are so well attended. Maybe we need to add a session on
pre-nups.  - diane)

- 'I DO! - IF WE HAVE SEX EVERYDAY'
Frequency of intercourse, weight provisos among clauses in "designer"
marriage contracts

Misty Harris, CanWest News Service
October 12, 2006

As romantic as "til death do us part" sounds, a new survey of family law
attorneys suggests a more accurate vow might be "til sex do us part."

Of the more than 1,600 legal eagles polled by the American Academy of
Matrimonial Lawyers, 15 per cent have been asked by clients to include
provisions for frequency of intercourse in their prenuptial agreements --
more commonly known as marriage contracts in Canada.

Nearly one in three have been ordered to include stipulations for the care
of a pet, 12 per cent have had clients request an adultery clause, and
another 12 per cent have been asked to include provisions for housekeeping.

It's all part of the made-to-order mentality of what you might call
"designer marriages." That is, unions tailored the same way one customizes a
new car or condo.

Headlines screaming of celebrities' adultery clauses are increasingly
common, with cheating spouses losing a significant financial stake for
breaking their vows. Weight provisos are also finding their way into
prenups, such as the contract in which a celebrity husband stipulated if his
wife's weight went above 120 pounds, it would be punishable by $100,000 in
the event of a divorce.

Another star reportedly requested provisions for random drug testing, while
an A-lister's wife asked that her husband be fined if rude to her parents.

But Michael Cochrane, a Toronto lawyer and author of Surviving Your Divorce,
says that behavioural provisions are historically very hard, if not
impossible, to enforce after a couple exchanges vows.

According to the AAML survey, the majority of prenuptial agreements (65 per
cent) are requested by people aged 40 to 60-years old.

There are no parallel statistics for Canada but Cochrane says anecdotal
evidence suggests a similar demographic trend among Canucks -- particularly
those entering their second or third marriages.

**************************
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