The wrong sort/Grantitude/A newslist by any other name/Faith-based and other questions - 5/06

Smartmarriages smartmarriages at lists101.his.com
Sun May 28 10:41:48 EDT 2006


- TOO MUCH, TOO LITTLE, THE WRONG SORT
- GRANT WRITING RECORDING
- LIST SERVE OR NEWSLIST OR NEWSLETTER?  IT'S ALL THE SAME
- GRANTITUDE 
- SEPARATE E-NEWSLISTS
- MAKING A LOVE CONNECTION
- MARRIAGE GRANTS AND FAITH-BASED INITIATIVES QUESTION

##########################
- TOO MUCH, TOO LITTLE, THE WRONG SORT

Several of you had trouble reaching Natalie Angier, the NY Times reporter
via email.  She sent us a new email address.  Please use this one:
Natalie Angier - NY Times <angier58 at comcast.net>  That's:
angier58 AT comcast.net

To repeat her inquiry:

>> To help illuminate and de-clinify a feature I am writing for the New
>> York Times about sexual desire, I would like to interview people who
>> have sought help for problems with sexual desire -- too much, too
>> little, the wrong sort.  It would be a plus if you live somewhere
>> between Washington DC and New York City and would be willing to speak
>> to me in person, but telephone interviews are good, too.  I would
>> prefer sources who are willing to be identified and even photographed,
>> but given the sensitivity of the subject we can use your story
>> anonymously as well.
>> 
>> Please contact me either by e-mail, or by telephone, 202-365-7869.
>> 
>> Natalie Angier
> 

And, just in case you didn't see the cartoon in the current New Yorker:

Women in station wagon on her cell "Hey, baby, I just dropped the kids off
at school, and now I'm going to the grocery store, and then I'm going home
and unloading the car -- am I making you hot?"

If that doesn't sum it all up, don't know what does. On the other hand, I
can think of quite a few "still singles", like my never-married electrician,
with nose pressed up against the glass, that can think of nothing sexier.
Or, more romantic.  - diane

Marital Sex As It Ought to Be - #755-807
Barry McCarthy, PhD
When it's good, it's great. When it's bad or non-existent, it's a bummer.
Learn what it takes to have great marital sex -- intimate and erotic -- and
how to prevent and resolve sexual problems.

90 minutes - recorded live at the Dallas Smart Marriages Conference. To
order on CD or MP3, call 800-241-7785

   
######################
- GRANT WRITING RECORDING

Speaking of conference recordings, I had several calls as a result of the
Dennis Stoica Grant-writing tele-conference calls.  It seems he referred you
to the recording of his 90 min workshop at the Dallas 2005 conference.  It
is comprehensive and invaluable.

> 755-617 
> Grant Writing 101
> Dennis Stoica, MBA, Bill Coffin, MEd
> Understand the fine points of grant writing in order to qualify for government
> and private foundation marriage money.
To order on CD or MP3, call 800-241-7785

###########################

- LIST SERVE OR NEWSLIST OR NEWSLETTER?  IT'S ALL THE SAME

> Hi Diane!
>   I have heard much about the Smart Marriage Listserv......I just subscribed
> to the smart marriage newsletter.......is that the same as subscribing to the
> list serve or is their something else i need to do? Thank you
> Brett

It appears that the Dennis Stoica grants tele-coaching sessions have also
generated a rash of new subscriptions to the newslist/list serve/newsletter.
Plus quite a few inquires like this one above asking me which is which.
They're one and the same.  But I understand the confusion.  On the
subscription page the list is referred to as an e-Newslist and as an
e-Newsletter.  And, I know many recommend subscribing to "the smartmarriages
list serve".  What should we be calling it?  Is there a technically correct
answer?  - diane  

##############################
- GRANTITUDE 

In response to sharing the complaints that the list was getting way too
grants heavy, many, many, many of you have written like Maggie, below, to
express your gratitude for the grants notices.  That's wonderful, but just
send your grantitude thoughts my way. I don't need an email from you until
you win a grant.  THEN I want to hear from you so we can share the news with
the list.   - diane

> Dear Diane:
> I¹d like to tell you what a WONDERFUL job you are doing on promoting the
> grants.  We are seeing a paradigm shift in our country and government like
> never before when it comes to marriages.
>  
> And as a 2005 grant recipient, I am grateful to SmartMarriages for
> Œadvertising¹ grant opportunities!
>  
> Keep up the great work Diane!
> Maggie Russell,
> Family Ministries Director
> Northside Christian Church

################################
- SEPARATE E-NEWSLISTS

> Diane
> As I have mentioned, being as far away as Saipan, we don't have access to the
> seminars and conferences.  I am interested in both grant and non-grant
> marriage info.  Perhaps there can either be a separate list for those who wish
> to receive grant info or separate newsletters where those who are of single
> interest--on both sides--won't have to wade through the "other" stuff...kinda
> like a "participant" or "professional" email and a "civilian" email...just a
> thought. 
> Miichael

We're contemplating this - separate lists for separate interests. When I
think about it I see the "interests" falling into three groups: community
organizers, marriage educators, civilians.  Many that have Marriage
Education curricula or who are providers of services have no interest in
grants or community organizing.  And, of course, many civilians are
subscribed because their marriage is hurting or they want to keep their
marriage humming along.  Or, they're "still single" or "single again" and
trying to figure out why.  But, I'm also concerned that this might be a
mistake.  My concern is that sometimes people think they don't like peas,
but after they try them a few times, decide peas is who they are.  By which
I mean, we convert many who only came for the marriage info into Marriage
EDUCATORS or Community Marriage Organizers.  They might be annoyed by
reading so many posts about the $100 of millions in grants, but after a
while, decide to see if anyone in their community is applying.  Or, at their
company, or, their congregation.  Likewise, the people only interested in
the grants and in community organizing, need little shots of love and
marriage - to read about marriages that have "gone platonic" or the marriage
trends, research like that today about the marriage odds for
college-educated women, new books and just the chit-chat and commentary -
little doses to remind them about why we're rowing so hard and little brain
pings that give them ideas for their community work or their marriage
education classes.  So, I hesitate to split the lists.  But, we ARE
considering it.  - diane

###########################
- MAKING A LOVE CONNECTION

Diane, 
Thanks a lot for running the Washington Times article on teen sex/marriage
education.....it will encourage marriage coalition folks to be thinking of
teen programming as they continue their work. Here's a link to an easy,
convenient and FREE way to get a copy of Making a Love Connection: Teen
Relationships, Pregnancy and Marriage:
http://www.teenpregnancy.org/resources/reading/marriage.asp

Marline Pearson

###########################

- MARRIAGE GRANTS AND FAITH-BASED INITIATIVES QUESTION

> Diane: I am the director of marriage ministries at my church. We have a
> growing, five year, year round marriage preparation ministry and train more
> than 50 couples a year. They come from all faiths and races within a 50 mile
> radius of our church. My question relative to the Healthy Marriages money is,
> can you teach a Bible based approach to marriage and still qualify for a
> grant?
>  
> Steve Aaron, Taylors, SC

I sent this one to Bill Coffin at ACF and will share his reply with the
list. Remember, you can sign up for Consultations with Bill Coffin at the
Atlanta Smart Marriages Conference - ask your questions about establishing
and funding a Healthy Marriage Initiative in your community. .  Register in
advance or at the conference at the ACF Exhibit which will be on the lower
International Level.  Bill will conduct three "consultations" - Thurs, Fri
and Sat mornings, each at 7am and each in International A.  To register in
advance email him at bcoffin at acf.hhs.gov  - that's bcoffin AT acf.hhs.gov

> This wording applies to the Compassion Capital Fund (CCF) but it is applicable
> to all ACF/gov grants...
>  
> Organizations that receive CCF funds may not engage in inherently religious
> activities, such as worship, religious instruction, or proselytization, as
> part of the programs or services funded with CCF funds.  If an organization
> conducts such inherently religious activities, the activities must be offered
> separately, in time or location, from the programs or services funded with CCF
> assistance, and participation must be voluntary for beneficiaries of the
> CCF-funded programs or services.  Some of the ways this may be accomplished
> include, but are not limited to, promoting only the Federally funded aspect of
> the program in materials, websites, or commercials purchased with any portion
> of the Federal funds.  In addition, an organization receiving CCF funds shall
> not, in providing CCF-funded services, discriminate against a program
> beneficiary or prospective program beneficiary on the basis of religion or
> religious belief.  Regulations pertaining to the Equal Treatment for
> Faith-Based Organizations, which includes the prohibition against Federal
> funding of inherently religious activities, can be found at either 45 CFR 87.1
> or the HHS website at http://www.os.dhhs.gov/fbci/waisgate21.pdf
>  
> See also http://www.whitehouse.gov/government/fbci/guidance/index.html and the
> links in each announcement.
>  
> So for example you could offer the secular version of PREP, Relationship
> Enhancement, Couple Communication, Active Relationships, PAIRS or any number
> of other programs and THEN offer the christian/theological/spiritual/religious
> content at a separate time or location at your own (not gov) expense.  Another
> way to approach this may be to offer couples a voucher that covers the
> majority of the cost and a list of providers and let the couple choose where
> to take their marriage education classes. ( There may be another set of
> problems associated with the use of vouchers...that¹s what demonstration
> grants are for...to iron out the kinks).
>  
> Bill Coffin
> Special Assistant for Marriage Education
> ACF/HHS
> (202)260-1550(o); (301)526-6221(c)
> Bill.Coffin at acf.hhs.gov
> http://www.acf.hhs.gov/healthymarriage
################################

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