Gungor TV premiere!/ August Doldrums/ Light Bulb/ Top Sessions - 7/06

Wed Jul 26 19:21:35 EDT 2006

- MARK GUNGOR TV SHOW PREMIERS TOMORROW, JULY 27TH
- THE DOLDRUMS: AUGUST MARRIAGE EDUCATION CLASSES?
- ONE WEEK TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE: LIGHT BULB MOMENT
- SESSION EVALUATIONS

######################
- MARK GUNGOR TV SHOW PREMIERS TOMORROW, JULY 27TH

The new Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage television show will premiere
worldwide on TBN (Trinity Broadcast Network) on the following dates:
Thursday, July 27th 12 PM Eastern / 11 AM Central
Tuesday, August 1st 12:30 AM / 11:30 PM Central

Please share this with everyone you know. Check out previews/samples, and,
after you see the show, let us know what you think at
http://www.laughyourway.com

#########################
- THE DOLDRUMS: AUGUST MARRIAGE EDUCATION CLASSES?

Our timing is so bad.  There's increased interest in classes following the
Smart Marriages Conference but there are very few classes scheduled in July
and August to take advantage of the buzz.  I know that's because you've
learned through trial and error that it's hard to fill classes during these
"vacation" August doldrum months.  But I do have couples and journalists
looking for August classes, SO, please send me new class dates for your
Directory listing - from now to year out. Even if you don't have a Directory
listing, please let me know if you have any marriage education classes
scheduled for August.
See Directory at: http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html

###########################
- ONE WEEK TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE: LIGHT BULB MOMENT

> Diane, 
> A colleague described the show to me and the experience of one of her
> couples that came in today and had greatly benefited from seeing the show
> ("They had an Oprah-like moment!").  One vignette contained a
> powerful enactment of a faulty behavioral pattern that this mentor
> apparently was able to highlight very well for the couple in the moment.
> The depiction illustrated a way to help couples unlock destructive patters,
> not necessarily by teaching them skills but by uncovering faulty ways of
> being together.
> 
> I think we can overemphasize the importance of teaching people things as the
> only way to create change.  Highlighting bad patterns and challenging
> couples to treat each other differently can be just as effective.
> 
> Kevin Kervick
> A Place for Possibilities

I did get to watch the tape of the show last night.  I'm guessing the above
refers to the couple's light-bulb moment when they realized that the wife's
constant nagging for more sex was actually her desire for more closeness and
affection.  This redefinition did help them.  But the show was pretty rough
around the edges - shock value/entertainment value brutal would be another
way to put it - and, while it gave them insights, didn't appear to equip
them with tools/skills to handle the rough spots they'll continue to face.
It was also troubling that they were asked to "rehearse" telling their son
that they were getting divorced and also to practice dividing their
possessions.  The intent was to give them a glimpse of how painful divorce
would be, but the danger lies in helping them get used to the idea and even
the process.  Once you can imagine something - and even "practice" it, no
matter how horrible, it makes it all the easier to go through with it.  -
diane 

##########################
- SESSION EVALUATIONS

> Diane, 
> It would help if you could create a forum so that others listening to the
> conference recordings could share their ratings. So we could know what others
> on the list recommend and what they found useful, and, also, what they found
> to be a waste of time.  There are so many sessions and it is difficult to
> know which sessions to order and I have a limited budget.
> LL

I can see how that would help - like the "recommended books" lists on Amazon
- and I will share any such lists with the listserv and also post them on
the website.  If you send a list of the recordings you found most useful,
please annotate it - say how you found it useful.  What might be useful to
someone in private practice might be very different than what is useful to a
mentor couple or a community activist.  Also, I'm in the middle of reading
conference evaluations and can tell you that people's ratings are very
different for the same session.  One person will say something was the best
session of the conference and the next person will give it a weak score and
say it was too elementary.  By which I mean, ratings aren't everything.  You
might order a top rated session and miss the one that's going to be most
useful to you and your work.

Having said that, we will share a list of the sessions that are consistently
top rated.  Will probably have this ready sometime in Sept, but I can tell
you in advance that there are several that are bunched at the top -
consistently highly rated:

The keynotes all got high marks - most especially: Barbara Whitehead,
Rozario Slack, William Fals Stewart, Steven Stosny, Mark Laaser, Emerson
Eggerich, John Gray, and Mark Gungor.

And, while I still have lots of evaluations to process, the following will
obviously be among the top rated sessions:  Order at 800-241-7785.

207
The Essential Humility of Marriage
Terry Hargrave, PhD
Stability, security, and sincerity are the "right stuff" that help couples
move past "me and my happiness" to the respect, humility, reliability, and
sacrifice that produce solid marriages and secure kids.

208
Between Two Worlds: Children of Divorce
Elizabeth Marquardt, MDiv
Even in the best divorces, kids live divided lives in which they struggle to
understand their parents' behavior, negotiate tangled family systems, and
develop values and beliefs.

301
1-2-3 Magic  MINI (also on DVD)
Tom Phelan, PhD
Teach parents easy-to-follow steps for disciplining kids ages 2-12 without
arguing, yelling or spanking and when - and how - silence can speak louder
than words.

401
Divorce Busting for Clinicians
Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW
Couples seek therapy when making the most important decision of their lives:
whether or not to divorce. Learn advanced solution-oriented techniques that
can help even last-ditch couples choose marriage.

405
You Don¹t Have to Take it Anymore
Steven Stosny, PhD
Learn how to use this approach in marriage ed settings to help overcome
entrenched resentment, anger, verbal and emotional abuse BEFORE you try to
teach communication skills.

406
The Black Marriage Curriculum - MINI
Nisa Muhammad, Rozario Slack, DMin
Black Americans are the most unmarried group in the world. Learn to teach
the skills, knowledge, and attitudes that will reverse this trend and
maintain the momentum.

407
Internet Sex Addiction - MINI
Mark Laaser, PhD, MDiv
Porn has become the #1 seller on the internet and extremely damaging to
marriage. Learn to recognize the symptoms and to prevent and help overcome
addiction to internet sex.

412
Rekindling Desire
Barry McCarthy, PhD
One in five marriages is non-sexual, i.e., have sex less than 10 times a
year. Specific exercises bridge the cycles of avoidance and
self-consciousness and reestablish desire. Case illustrations.

418
Marketing Chattanooga Style
Julie Baumgardner, MS
Learn strategies that use both paid and free advertising to get out the
message about marriage, fathering, and abstinence and increase participation
in community marriage events and classes.

514
Learning Sobriety Together
Gary Birchler, PhD, William Fals-Stewart, PhD
This program works with couples together - the drug/alcohol abuser and
spouse - to improve communication skills, build cohesion and to both promote
and maintain sobriety.

516
Getting State Money: The 1% Solution
Chris Gersten, Krista Sisterhen, Mary Myrick
Learn how to access state marriage money - how to open doors and build
relationships with state and federal elected and appointed officials.

518
Harness the Internet: Marriage Resource Centers
Dennis Stoica, MBA 
Learn to build a website for your marriage project or Community Marriage
Resource Center. Increase access to local marriage programs. Includes FREE
templates and instructions.

601
The First Dance/Take Back Your Wedding - MINI (also on DVD)
Bill Doherty, PhD, Elizabeth Doherty Thomas
Teach a program to help engaged couples, in the face of complex & sometimes
conflicted couple & family dynamics, plan a strong, ³family-systems² based
wedding that will lay a solid foundation for life-long marriage.

606
Reptiles in Love: Escape Your Primitive Brain
Don Ferguson, PhD
Normal mind/body defenses protect us in danger, but can damage intimate
communication. Learn specific steps to self-soothe, and, then, to improve
your relationship. 

610
The Five Love Languages - MINI
Jay and Julie Baumgardner, MA, CFLE
Use Gary Chapman¹s program to help couples learn to speak their spouses¹
³love language², transition from the ³in love² to ³covenant love² stage &
avoid the trap of getting the ³tingles² for someone other than their spouse.

613
The Icy Pole Stick Dance
Peter Little
Learn to use 15 fun tools from ³down under² - eggs, icy pole sticks,
balloons, photos, balls, the camping game - to make quick progress on
communication, connecting & problem solving. For couples & families.

614
Marriage Education for Good Ole Boys
Jennifer Baker, PsyD, MFT
Learn to supplement existing marriage programs with film clips, Country
music, humor and stories to engage often neglected low-income white couples.

618 
Grant Writing 101
Dennis Stoica, MBA, Bill Coffin, MEd
Understand the fine points of grant writing in order to qualify for
government and private foundation marriage money.

701
African American Marriage Enrichment - MINI (also on DVD)
Lorraine Blackman, PhD
Learn tips for teaching this program that addresses the specific issues
facing African American couples. Perfect for church, school, community, and
private practice settings.

702
Power Love - MINI
Steven Stosny, PhD
Women maintain and nurture relationships, but men decide if, and when,
they¹ll improve. In this male-friendly program, learn to engage men and
teach scientifically-validated behaviors to improve marriage.

708
Torn Asunder: Mending Infidelity
Dave Carder, MA 
This model provides a structure to stabilize marriages in the first crucial
90 days; skills to differentiate types of infidelity and to start
forgiveness and trust building; plus homework.

801
The #1 Key to Incredible Sex (also on DVD)
Mark Gungor
Learn a humorous and incredibly effective approach to understanding the
misinformation that kills off sex and passion, and how to turn things
around. 

805
How To Avoid Marrying A Jerk - MINI
John Van Epp, PhD
Great marriages begin long before the wedding. Learn what singles (and
parents) should know about the 5 keys to successful mate-selection, and how
to avoid the "love is blind" attachment-syndrome. Singles, or single again.

807
Marital Sex As it Ought to Be
Barry McCarthy, PhD
When it's good, it¹s great. When it's bad or non-existent, it's a bummer.
Learn what it takes to have great marital sex - intimate and erotic - and
how to prevent and resolve sexual problems.

813
Surviving Your Adolescents: 13 - 18 Year Olds - MINI
Tom Phelan, PhD
There are times you must keep quiet as they push toward independence and
times you must take charge. This step-by-step approach will help end the
hassles. Single parents & stepparents welcome.

815
The Lazy Husband
Joshua Coleman, PhD
Despite a trend towards dads doing more parenting and housework, most of the
load still falls on moms. Learn strategies for resolving the endless
struggles and even things out.

817  Marriage Rally: Teach In
Transforming Communities Grassroots Style
Julie Baumgardner, MA, Bill Seabrook, MS, Nisa Muhammad, Jennifer Baker,
PsyD, MFT
Learn what communities across the country are doing to strengthen marriage
and how you can follow their lead. Brainstorm about opportunities  free
media, the web, funding, volunteers, creating buy-in - and how to avoid the
stumbling blocks.

To SUBSCRIBE, UNSUBSCRIBE to this Free e-newlsit, or change your
subscription address, use the form at (http://www.smartmarriages.com). Click
Newsletter - in the column under the puzzle piece.

Please respect our copyright. If you wish to use any of our content send an
email and request permission.

This newslist shares information on marriage, divorce and educational
approaches.  Opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by members of the
Coalition.

This is a moderated list. Replies are read by Diane Sollee, editor. Please
indicate if your response is NOT to be shared with the list.  PLEASE include
your email address in with your signature.

To read ALL past posts to the newsletter, visit the Archive at:
http://archives.his.com/smartmarriages/

11th Annual Smart Marriages Conference, Denver Adam's Mark Hotel,
June 28-July 1, 2007
Pre-Conference Training Institutes June 26-28
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 2-3
Details: http://www.smartmarriages.com/conferencedetails.html

List your program in the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com

Order conference audio & videos/CD/DVD/MP3s: 800-241-7785 or at
http://www.iPlaybackSmartMarriages.com

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW
Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332 
diane at smartmarriages.com