Haskins: House Ways & Means/BSF in Baltimore/Mentors in Ohio - 7/24/06

[Smartmarriages]

- STIMULATING A NATIONAL MARRIAGE MOVEMENT
- SHORING UP 'FRAGILE FAMILIES'
- MENTORING FOR MARRIAGES IN OHIO

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- STIMULATING A NATIONAL MARRIAGE MOVEMENT
Ron Haskins testimony to House Ways and Means Committee
July 19, 2006 

Beyond these obvious next steps, I think this committee has already taken
the most important action that holds great promise for further reductions in
poverty and improvements in child development and well-being; namely,
stimulating a national marriage movement. Years of research on poverty have
convinced me that there are only three ways to reliably reduce poverty:
economic growth, increased work, and increased marriage rates.
Unfortunately, primarily because of low and often declining wages at the
bottom of the income distribution, economic growth is less effective than in
the past at reducing poverty.48 However, the nation¹s experience with
increasing work levels following the 1996 welfare reforms shows
unequivocally that increased work by mothers heading families drives down
the poverty rate. Now comes marriage. Work that we have undertaken at
Brookings provides solid evidence that increasing marriage rates to the
level the nation enjoyed in 1970 would reduce poverty by almost 30
percent.49 In addition, as shown in a recent volume of the Future of
Children, published by Brookings and Princeton University, the academic
world is in almost unanimous agreement that increasing marriage rates would
be good for children. This committee should provide strong oversight of its
recent legislation that provides $150 million per year to stimulate healthy
marriage and responsible fatherhood programs around the nation. In addition,
the Committee should keep a close eye on the ground-breaking experimental
research the Department of Health and Human Services is FUNDING TO TEST
MARRIAGE EDUCATION and other approaches to strengthening marriage. If some
of these programs are successful, the Committee should make funds available
to expand them throughout the nation. I believe the evidence strongly
supports the view that if we can increase the nation¹s marriage rates,
especially among poor and minority parents, the parents themselves,
children, and the nation will greatly benefit. Not least among these
benefits will be a declining need for government welfare programs.

http://www.brookings.edu/views/testimony/haskins/20060719.htm

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- SHORING UP 'FRAGILE FAMILIES'
By Cheryl Wetzstein
THE WASHINGTON TIMES
July 23, 2006

BALTIMORE

    Jerrece Caesar and Corey Roscoe may not have had a fancy wedding by
bridal-magazine standards, but their marriage could set an example for
couples across the country.

    The couple had thought about marriage last year when she became
pregnant, but "we were having serious problems, communication problems,"
said Mr. Roscoe, 36.

    Then they learned about a federally funded relationship-skills class
aimed at helping low-income "fragile families" to stabilize and improve
their relationships.

    After attending several weeks of classes, Jerrece called her pastor, the
Rev. Russell E. Groves, to set a wedding date.

    "Yes, definitely" the classes influenced the couple to make the
commitment, Mrs. Roscoe said after the ceremony at Canaan Baptist Church in
Baltimore, where she was surrounded by friends and family, including the
couple's 2-week-old son.

    The Roscoes are part of a seven-state experiment to determine whether
relationship-skills classes can help foster stable relationships -- and,
preferably, marriages.

    But reviving marriage in cities such as Baltimore, where 65 percent of
births are out of wedlock, will be no small feat.

    From 2005 through 2010, the Baltimore Building Strong Families (BSF)
program will be gathering information from 650 couples to see whether it
provides the right combination of words, images, services and counseling
sessions to help the couples commit to each other and their children for the
long haul.

    The trick will be doing this in neighborhoods where trust is low, talk
is cheap, sex is plentiful and weddings are rare.

 For more than 60 years, the nation offered public assistance to single
mothers -- with an emphasis on the word "single." Generations of welfare
mothers warned each other about letting a man stay too long -- "a man in the
house" meant forfeiture of a mother's public housing, cash benefits,
Medicaid and other government benefits.

    Not surprisingly, marriage all but disappeared in poor communities.

Welfare mothers had boyfriends, not husbands; their children had visiting
"daddies" who showed up with Pampers, not fathers who came home from work
every day, played with them and protected them.

    In 1996, Congress reformed the welfare system by adopting the Temporary
Assistance for Needy Families program. Single mothers who seek assistance
receive help finding a job. And they receive temporary benefits, with an
emphasis on the word "temporary."

    The 1996 reform also clarified the government's interest in discouraging
unwed childbearing and strengthening two-parent families. State welfare
systems responded by jettisoning their "no-man-in-the-house" rules and
offering welfare to poor married parents.

    But that wasn't enough to change the welfare system's bias against
two-parent families, said social conservatives. Dozens of groups, including
the Heritage Foundation, Family Research Council and an umbrella group
called the Fatherhood and Marriage Leadership Institute, urged Congress to
allocate funds for pro-marriage and "responsible fatherhood" programs. The
Deficit Reduction Act of 2005 authorized $150 million a year for these
activities, and funds will start flowing to communities this fall.

    Still, huge questions remain about how to promote stable, monogamous
relationships and married childbearing in communities with high rates of
single-parenting.

    Research from the Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study, sponsored
by Columbia and Princeton universities, found that when young, low-income,
unwed couples have a baby, more than 80 percent are romantically involved
and more than half expect to get married, said Wade F. Horn, assistant
secretary for children and families at the Department of Health and Human
Services (HHS).

    Researchers call this "a magic moment," he said.

    However, the Fragile Families study also found that, despite these good
intentions, "most of those couples eventually break up, and even those who
do go on to get married have a very high divorce rate," Mr. Horn said.

    So the central question becomes: What if a carefully designed
intervention was provided to couples when they're in the "magic moment"? Mr.
Horn asked.

    Enter the BSF experiment, which is backed by HHS' Administration for
Children and Families.

    Since early 2005, BSF sites in seven states -- Georgia, Maryland,
Louisiana, Florida, Indiana, Oklahoma and Texas -- have been targeting
hundreds of "fragile families" with relationship-skills curricula, services
and follow-up interviews.

    The initial findings should be out in 2009, said Alan Hershey, a BSF
project director at Mathematica Policy Research.
    
    Dishes and diapers

    On a Thursday night in March, four couples gathered at the Baltimore BSF
class. The hot topic was housework.

    After watching a video featuring Seattle psychologist and marriage
specialist Julie Gottman, author of the "Loving Couples, Loving Children"
curriculum, the couples were invited to talk.

    Raymond "Dino" Jefferson let loose about partner Lysa Samuels.

    "She plays the enforcer," Mr. Jefferson said, but he receives little
respect.

    He said he did the dishes every day for two weeks and "didn't hear
anything," but when he didn't do the dishes for two days in a row, "she
complained."

    "I clean up a lot," Miss Samuels retorted, adding that she also does
laundry, cooks and cares for their 3-year-old and 5-month-old daughters.

    Not to mention the bathroom. "I always clean the bathroom," she said
indignantly.

    "Yes," Mr. Jefferson said, suddenly agreeable. "I try to leave it for
you."

    The other men in the class began laughing, and the women jeered as Miss
Samuels pretended to swat her mate.

    Curtis Brannon, who has four children with partner Maurina Bond, also
had domestic issues.

    "She's too demanding," he said. "To her, everything's got to be done
right now." But it's too much, he said. "I'm not no child."

    "How can we have company when the house is a mess?" Miss Bond asked.
"The dishes are just sitting there."

    Latisha Crawford said her partner, Darrick Cruse, has a lot to learn
about caring for an infant.

    "The diapers are never on right -- they're too tight or too loose," she
said.

    Mr. Cruse shrugged his shoulders over the diapering, but noted that when
he comes home from work, he could use some downtime.

    "I'm tired, leave me alone for a half hour. But it's always 'Take the
baby,'" he said.

    "Work multiplies when the child arrives," said BSF co-facilitator
Michael Franklin, who empathized with the couples, but steered them toward
resolving their differences.

    Successful couples divide tasks and foster a sense of fairness and
balance in the home, said Mr. Franklin, a married father, teacher and
pastor.

    Turning to the men, he said that if they helped more around the house,
they would increase their odds for romance. This time, the men jeered while
the women cheered.

    "Yes, it's a turn-on," one mother said, nodding her head vigorously.

    One father shook his head in disbelief.

    "What if I clean up, and she's still angry?" he muttered.

    Mia Rhodes, the other BSF facilitator, jumped in.

    "Remember, couples have to turn toward each other, not away from each
other," said Mrs. Rhodes, an experienced social worker. "Appreciate each
other. Help each other understand what's expected, what needs to be done."

    The Baltimore BSF's six months of classes cover dozens of real-life
issues: Earning money and spending money. Grandmas and child care. Mommas
and momma's boys. Homeboys and hood rats. Cell phones and who's calling on
them.

    "Why is your phone locked?" a pregnant Laneisha Drafts asked her
husband, Duane, during a Monday-night class. His unsatisfactory answers
fueled her anger, and he eventually walked out of class. Days later, she
moved out of their home.
    
    'Just a piece of paper'

    The recruitment of couples for BSF is a critical first step.

    Since August, Baltimore field coordinators Stephen Lawrence and Maxine
Galloway have regularly visited hospital maternity wards, doctors' offices,
public housing, laundries and grocery stores looking for eligible couples.

 "Eligible" means they are 18 or older, pregnant or newly delivered, unwed
or newly married, romantically involved, nonviolent and willing to
participate in the program, which includes free child care, dinner and
transportation.

    So far, Mr. Lawrence and Miss Galloway have signed up 200 couples, half
of whom were randomly assigned to the BSF program and half to a control
group that receives regular city services.

    Miss Galloway said the "very best situation" is when the father is with
the mother when she approaches the couple so they can both hear about the
program before signing up.

    She and Mr. Lawrence often see anti-marriage bias.

    "They see it as unattainable," Miss Galloway said.

    Mr. Lawrence said he is careful to describe BSF as "a
family-strengthening program," not a let's-get-you-married program, but some
women hear it that way anyway.

    "Marriage is just a piece of paper," one young mother whispered to
another after the women rebuffed Mr. Lawrence in the waiting room at a
hospital family care center.

    On April 28, the Baltimore BSF held its first graduation ceremony for
couples who had finished the first six months of classes.

    "You are on the cutting edge of a new phenomenon of how families are
served," said Joseph T. Jones Jr., founder and president of the Center for
Fathers, Families and Workforce Development program, which oversees the
Baltimore BSF.

    "It's really about the little people," Mr. Jones said, referring to the
dozens of babies and children who gathered in the meeting room at New Shiloh
Baptist Church. "Little people need to see their moms and dads working
together."

    Several mothers came without their partners because of work schedules,
but Charice Diggs, 21, came alone because she and her boyfriend are "not
together anymore."

    "I don't know why we're not together," Miss Diggs said later, rubbing
her eight-months pregnant belly. But she had no regrets about taking the BSF
course. "It was most definitely worth it, and it does work for others," she
said.

    One couple -- Sophia Watts, 21, and Darryl Duppins, 24 -- were honored
with a gift certificate and a night in a fancy Baltimore hotel for attending
nearly all of their classes. Later, they testified to the value of the BSF
program.

    One of the best lessons is to "turn toward each other, not away from
each other," Miss Watts said.

     "It helped us stay together," said Mr. Duppins, cuddling his
6-month-old son, Darryl Jr., while daughter, Akaya, 4, danced nearby.

     "It's a struggle, but we make it," he said, adding that "one day" he
expects they will "walk down the aisle."

    Sadly, their dream will remain just that. On June 11, Mr. Duppins was
shot on a street near his mother's home and died shortly thereafter.

    The entire BSF team and other BSF families surrounded the grief-stricken
family and continue to be a safety net for Miss Watts.

    "We are building strong families," said Cassandra Codes-Johnson, BSF
program director. "We won't forget you, and we will not let you forget us."

    As for the other couples: Mr. Jefferson and Miss Samuels are still
struggling in their relationship. Miss Diggs remains on speaking terms with
her ex-boyfriend. The Draftses weathered some bad days and have now
reconciled. Miss Crawford and Mr. Cruse have set a wedding date. Mr. Brannon
and Miss Bond are doing well juggling child care and Miss Bond's new job.

    But when asked about the future, Mr. Brannon shook his head and grinned.

    "Marriage?" he said. "I'm not ready for it, but I know it's coming."
    
Copyright 2006 The Washington Times

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- MENTORING FOR MARRIAGES IN OHIO
Group seeks grant money for program to stem high divorce rate
BY JANICE MORSE | ENQUIRER STAFF WRITER
JULY 24, 2006 
The Enquirer (Cincinnati Ohio)

> proposal calls for training "an army of volunteer mentor couples,"
> such as Gary and Lidy Johnson of West Chester. . . .
> 
> "We try to give people the interpersonal skills they need to succeed in
> married life; most couples aren't really even equipped for the first fight,"
> Gary Johnson says.
> 
> Nowadays, many newlyweds think: "We'll try this and if it doesn't work out,
> maybe we'll get a divorce," his wife says. . . .

> "I think it's like preventive medicine," Gary Johnson says. "If you head off
> divorce, you're saving a huge cost to the individual, to the family -
> especially the children - and to society. There's a conventional wisdom that
> says divorce isn't bad; people who go through it find out that's not the
> case." . . . . 
> 
> Mentors don't judge; they don't give professional advice. But they do offer
> encouragement and real-life examples to help younger couples, the Johnsons
> say. . . . 

> Schiavone, the Middletown divorce lawyer, says the proposal makes sense.
> 
> "The concepts are wonderful. How can you go wrong teaching people as much as
> you can possibly lay on them to get them ready for marriage?" he says. "I
> would say that any time you can get people to think a bit about why they're
> getting married to begin with, that's a good thing."

(THIS ARTICLE FEATURES Dick and Carol Cronk and Vivian Koob, whom many of
you know from the Smart Marriages Conferences.  - diane)

Disturbed by divorce rates running sharply higher than average in several
Southwest Ohio counties, a regional group is seeking a five-year, $10
million federal grant to strengthen marriages and reduce divorces.

The group's contention: When people get married and stay married, it's
better for individuals, families and the community.

Two key Republican legislators - U.S. Rep. John Boehner and U.S. Sen. Mike
DeWine - support the Marriage Works proposal from Elizabeth's New Life
Center, a Dayton nonprofit group operating in Butler, Warren, Montgomery,
Miami, Shelby and Greene counties.

Part of the center's proposal focuses on "low-conflict" marriages - those
without abuse, violence or serious fighting. Such cases make up about
two-thirds of divorces, showing "a great need to assist couples through
skills-based education/intervention," the center says.

Divorce rates vary widely. In Greater Cincinnati, Clermont County has the
highest rate - nearly 74 divorces for every 100 marriages.

Warren County has 67 divorces per 100 marriages, according to the Ohio
Department of Health.

That's considerably higher than Ohio's statewide rate: about 56 divorces per
100 marriages.

Hamilton County in Ohio and Boone, Kenton and Campbell counties in Northern
Kentucky all have divorce rates below their states' average. Butler County's
rate slightly exceeds the Ohio average.

Many factors play a role in why those rates vary, says Frank Schiavone, a
Middletown lawyer who has handled more than 3,000 divorces since 1982.

In poor urban areas, some couples cannot afford going through a formal
divorce. In richer suburbs, couples may be fighting more often over money -
and they have the funds to drag disputes into court, Schiavone says.

And in places such as Clermont County, it might also be cheaper and faster
to get a divorce. That might attract cases from other counties. Under Ohio
law, couples can file for divorce in any county they choose, if both sides
agree.

AN ARMY OF MENTORS

The Marriage Works program wants to bring the higher divorce rates down with
a broad range of services. Programs would include relationship education for
high-school students, marriage planning for engaged couples, and mentoring
for troubled married couples.

The program seeks funding from the federal Healthy Marriage Initiative,
which President Bush has been pushing since 2001.

Federal officials won't disclose information on other groups vying along
with Elizabeth's for a share of $375 million in healthy marriage grants,
spread over five years. Up to 135 grants will be awarded Sept. 30.

Elizabeth's proposal calls for training "an army of volunteer mentor
couples," such as Gary and Lidy Johnson of West Chester.

Married 36 years, the Johnsons underwent six weeks of mentor training two
years ago, using materials from people connected to Marriage Works.

"We try to give people the interpersonal skills they need to succeed in
married life; most couples aren't really even equipped for the first fight,"
Gary Johnson says.

Nowadays, many newlyweds think: "We'll try this and if it doesn't work out,
maybe we'll get a divorce," his wife says. "We went into marriage with the
idea that we were going to make it work, no matter what. That gives you a
whole different starting point."

PREVENTIVE MEDICINE

The Johnsons, who provide mentoring through Crestview Presbyterian Church in
West Chester, would like to see the Marriage Works program receive funding
to spread mentor training.

"I think it's like preventive medicine," Gary Johnson says. "If you head off
divorce, you're saving a huge cost to the individual, to the family -
especially the children - and to society. There's a conventional wisdom that
says divorce isn't bad; people who go through it find out that's not the
case."

The Johnsons concede that some people have little choice but to divorce. But
they say many marriages that end in divorce could be saved through better
intervention.

Mentors don't judge; they don't give professional advice. But they do offer
encouragement and real-life examples to help younger couples, the Johnsons
say.

Elizabeth's New Life Center is a Christian-based agency, but the proposed
Marriage Works programs would have "no religious content," says Vivian Koob,
executive director.

Koob's organization is connected to a number of groups - some faith-based,
some not - that have assisted with marriage-strengthening programs.

For example, some of the proposed program would be modeled after work done
by Dick and Carol Cronk, founding members of the Miami Valley Marriage
Coalition.

Now married 35 years, the Cronks, who live north of Dayton, were heading for
divorce after 14 years of marriage.

"I was going through a midlife crisis, and our teenage daughter wasn't the
angel we thought she should be," Dick Cronk says.

With the help of other couples, friends and a marriage encounter program,
the Cronks pulled through. They started mentoring other couples nine years
ago.

>From 1997 through this January, the Cronks:

Mentored 181 engaged couples. Of those, 20 canceled their weddings and 161
married; eight couples have since divorced.

Mentored 199 troubled couples; 38 divorced.

Achieving those kinds of results on a wider scale could help reduce some of
the area's high divorce rates, Koob says.

FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE

Schiavone, the Middletown divorce lawyer, says the proposal makes sense.

"The concepts are wonderful. How can you go wrong teaching people as much as
you can possibly lay on them to get them ready for marriage?" he says. "I
would say that any time you can get people to think a bit about why they're
getting married to begin with, that's a good thing."

Schiavone, who is not involved with Marriage Works, sees several types of
disintegrating marriages.

"There are a lot of young people who, after two, three years, see they
didn't realize what they were getting into," he says. "They go, 'Oh my God,
what have I done?' "

Marriages also fall prey to the classic "midlife crisis," where a person
rebels and seeks to reclaim his youth.

But across all age categories and social classes, over and over, Schiavone
says the No. 1 reason couples divorce is "the good, old-fashioned failure to
communicate."

Copyright 2006 The Enquirer


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