TLC Marriage Series/Marketing Marriage/Intergenerational/ Rekindling Desire - 7/24/06

Mon Jul 24 16:06:28 EDT 2006

- ONE WEEK TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE: TLC TONIGHT
- PROJECT EVERLASTING: TODAY SHOW FEATURE ON STABLE MARRIAGE
- SHAKE UP YOUR MARKETING BRAIN
- OOPS, I FORGOT TO HAVE GRANDCHILDREN!
- NEW BOOK: RECONCEIVING THE FAMILY
- SEXLESS MARRIAGE PROGRAMS?
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- ONE WEEK TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE: TLC TONIGHT

Set your Tivos for the premier of the new TLC series "One Week to Save Your
Marriage" which premiers tonight (7/24/06) at 10pm.   Fingers crossed and
hope it's helpful. If you see it, let me know what you think.  - diane

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- PROJECT EVERLASTING: TODAY SHOW FEATURE ON STABLE MARRIAGE
Diane,

On July 17 the Today Show featured two 20-something bachelors who are
traveling the country interviewing happily married couples who have been
together more than 40 years. It started from one of the young men's
experience with his grandparents, who were practically the only stable
married couple he knew.  His key learning on "the insider secrets to amazing
marriage": the happily married couples have
experienced the same problems as the ones who break up, but they stayed
committed and worked through them!  Is this a treat, or what?  They are
looking for nominations of couples to interview as they travel.  I think
this is one to promote to the list.  Here's the link:
http://www.projecteverlasting.com/Tour.html

Bill Doherty

And, check out the corporate sponsors!

> Multiple sponsors come aboard to help Mat and Jason get there to find
> America's best love stories.  Southwest Airlines "The Love Airlines," Platinum
> Guild International "Pure, Rare, Eternal," 1-800Flowers.com, Fleetwood RVs,
> and Holiday Retirement Group.  Finally, in a crazy delicious partnership that
> will go well beyond this year's Search for America's Greatest Marriages,
> Project Everlasting is teaming up with Hilton Hotels to show how important
> travel has been for Marriage Masters.

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- SHAKE UP YOUR MARKETING BRAIN

We know so much that can help couples.  Our challenge is how to get it out
there - how to market so couples will attend our classes and programs.

At last month's Smart Marriages conference, participants in Joel Saltzman's
highly-rated "Shake That Marketing Brain!" workshop learned about marketing
themselves and their programs. They also shared strategies THEY have used in
their communities. Here are several proven strategies contributed by
workshop participants:

1.
We changed the title of our class from "Basic Financial Management" to
"Money Strategies for Wannabe Millionaires." We also changed the title,
"Women And Their Money" to "Chicks Need Nest Eggs, Too!" [SALTZMAN SEZ:
Remember when we learned in class about the difference between "Home
Economics for Boys" and "Bachelor Living"? It's true: A change in TITLE can
make a WORLD of difference!]

2.
We went to congregations with a short pitch about what our conference was
all about and issued personal invitations for all to attend. [SALTZMAN SEZ:
Even better (as discussed in class) give them "value in advance"  for
example a useful tip from your program, some new behavior they can try out
on their own. Remember, as we learned in class: Your goal is to serve your
customers BEFORE they're your customers.]

3.
We put out a PSA (Public Service Announcement), publicized it in our local
paper, sent announcements to churches, flyers about our job club and went on
a cable TV program. [SALTZMAN SEZ: One of the greatest "marketing myths"
among beginners is that they need to "beg" to get people interested. Oh, no!
Your local TV station ... your local radio ... your hometown newspaper: They
all NEED material. And who better than YOU to do them a favor by providing
some!]

4.
I stopped talking about ME in conversations and asked a lot more QUESTIONS
about THEM! [SALTZMAN SEZ: Brilliant! And very VERY different from the
would-be actress who remarked: "But enough about me; what do YOU think about
me?"]

5.
We wrote articles for church newsletters. [SALTZMAN SEZ: And I guarantee
you: Those churches were DELIGHTED to get some fresh, free material!]

6.
I always project a positive attitude! [SALTZMAN SEZ: Enthusiasm is key. From
Martin Luther King to Bruce Springsteen, passion is the spark that ignites
the fire.]

The recording of this two-hour workshop is full of tips and ideas to shake
up your strategies.

To learn more, order session #756-603, "Shake That Marketing Brain!" for $15
on CD or download at 800-241-7785 or:
http://www.iplaybacksmartmarriages.com/

Learn even more about marketing from Joel Saltzman's book, "Shake That
Brain!" (Wiley, 2006).
Currently available for 30% off on amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0471742104/qid=1138848654/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs
_b_2_1/104-8524765-8675161?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

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- OOPS, I FORGOT TO HAVE GRANDCHILDREN!

> I read a study years ago that said people who choose not to have children
> don't regret that decision while their friends are having  children, but
> they do when their friends start having grandchildren.  So you are exactly
> right in your comment about grandchildren - the payoff comes later than most
> people  realize. - Steve Beirne

Yep, part of our work is to get people to take the long view, the
long-range, intergenerational consequences of what they choose to do - and,
choose not to do. Two plenary sessions really bring this home: "Message to
Our Sons and Daughters" with Whitehead and Slack and "Breaking the Cycle of
Divorce" with Van Epp, Love and McFadden.  Great teaching DVDs. Order at
800-241-7785.   - diane
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- NEW BOOK: RECONCEIVING THE FAMILY

Reconceiving the Family: Critique of the American Law Institute's Principles
of the Law of Family Dissolution
<http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0521861195/sr=8-1/qid=1153584369/ref=sr_1_
1/103-3348794-1891006?ie=UTF8>

Just released, July 17, 2006.

The American Law Institute's (ALI) "Principles of the Law of Family
Dissolution" is "arguably the most sweeping proposal for family law reform
attempted in the U.S. over the last quarter century." In "Reconceiving the
Family" a group of 27 top law scholars of left and right challenge and
critique various aspects; from ALI's call to eliminate every last vestige of
fault (or morality) from family law, to its call to treat cohabiting couples
the same as married couples to (in what the editor calls "unearned trust")
the attempt to transfer parental rights to so-called defacto parents. This
is a must read for anyone interested in policy, legal, or moral debates over
marriage and family law. It's a Cambridge University Press book and
expensive, but worth it.

About the Editor:

Robin Fretwell Wilson is an Associate Professor of Law at the University of
Maryland School of Law. She is the co-editor of a forthcoming volume
entitled The Handbook of Children, Culture & Violence (Sage Publications,
2005) and has published articles on the risks of abuse to children in the
Cornell Law Review, the Emory Law Journal, the San Diego Law Review, and the
Journal of Child and Family Studies. Professor Wilson frequently lectures on
violence to children, including presentations at the Family Law Project by
Harvard University Law School and Yale University's Edward Zigler Center for
Child Development and Social Policy.

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- SEXLESS MARRIAGE PROGRAMS?

> Diane....as a pastor/counselor/Social Worker .... I am inundated in recent
> years by a great number of couples...typically, mid-life cycle who are
> finding less and less enjoyment in sexual relations.   Either one or the
> other of the spouses often just lose the desire and then avoid sex with
> spouse if they find no satisfaction themselves.  Biblically this is not
> appropriate, but even among Christian families this seems to be played down
> as unimportant....while marriages fail as a result.   Often, the denied
> partner meets someone who is interested in sexual relations
> and satisfies their desires, and so divorces result.
>     Any program we could present to address these delicate issues?   It might
be a good round-table discussion type of presentation
> that would be most beneficial.
> 
> carl king
> 

There are many such programs - Hot Monogamy; Sex Starved Marriage;
Rekindling Sexual Desire; The #1 Key to Incredible Sex; Marital Sex as It
Ought to Be; etc.  I suggest you order the Smart Marriages Conference
recordings - sex workshops and keynotes to sample what the experts have come
up with.  Maybe you could lead a roundtable discussion at the Denver
conference of which programs you and others would recommend. I'll also copy
this to the list for additional suggestions/discussion.  - diane

Here are those sessions:

> Start by ordering recordings from the Smart Marriages Conference the speak
> right to your issue -- hear what the experts have to say. Each workshop or
> plenary is available in audio CD or MP3 formats for $15. Master Workshops and
> Keynotes also available on DVD for $25. To order, call 800-241-7785 or visit
> http://www.iplaybacksmartmarriages.com/
> 
> 756-801 - Master Workshop
> The Number One Key to Incredible Sex (also on DVD)
> Mark Gungor
> Learn a humorous and incredibly effective approach to
> understanding the misinformation that kills off sex and
> passion, and how to turn things around.
> 
> 756-807
> Marital Sex As it Ought to Be
> Barry McCarthy, PhD
> When it's good, it¹s great. When it's bad or non-existent, it's
> a bummer. Learn what it takes to have great marital sex
> - intimate and erotic - and how to prevent and resolve sexual problems.
> 
> 756-211
> Sex and Romance in the Biblical Marriage
> Hon Jim Sheridan, JD, MBA
> Scripture describes marriage as a dynamic relationship
> between equals filled with passion and love. Learn
> how to put this into practice with disagreements, sex
> and the realities of lifelong marriage.
> 
> 754-601 - Master Workshop (also on DVD)
> Rekindling Desire
> Barry McCarthy, PhD
> One in five marriages is non-sexual, i.e., have sex less
> than 10 times a year. Specific exercises bridge the cycles
> of avoidance and self-consciousness and reestablish desire.
> Case illustrations.
> 
> 756-506
> Fighting for Sexual Intimacy: The PREP Approach
> Gary Barnes, PhD, Scott Stanley, PhD
> Help couples avoid automatic responses of fleeing or
> fighting over sex.  Use skills to understand underlying
> issues and expectations and make sex a powerfully
> protective factor in their marriage.
> 
> 756-608
> Married Sex for Men
> Barry McCarthy, PhD
> Ten things men need to learn to deal with the common
> problems  low desire, porn addiction, erectile dysfunction,
> premature ejaculation, etc.  to build a healthy, pleasurable
> sex life.
> 
> 756-714
> Love and Sex Addiction
> Jon Marsh, Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW
> 12-steps is not for everyone.  Learn how to use the skills
> and value-based PRIDE recovery model for transitioning
> couples from traumatic discovery of a love/sex addiction
> to healthy partnership.
> 
> 754-202 
> Hot Monogamy: The Biology of Love
> Pat Love, EdD
> The death of passion often heralds the end of a marriage. Proven techniques
> can help couples restore this vital energy. Pragmatic strategies will be
> presented with humor and clinical savvy.
> 
> 755-9-1 (Keynote)
> Hot Monogamy - Pat Love, EdD, keynote
> (also available on video DVD)
> Passion is primary divorce prevention.  The fact that 80% of couples who
> divorce say they "grew apart" explains why passionate, engaged partners stay
> together.  Learn how to energize marriage and protect it against
> passion poverty.
> 
> 755-807 - Master Workshop
> Keeping Love and Sex Alive (also available on video DVD)
> Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW
> Learn the top tricks from America's #1 Divorce Buster for making your marriage
> and sex life all that it can be.  You'll leave energized, enthusiastic and
> empowered. Attend alone or with your partner.
> 
> 755-708
> Porn Sex Addiction
> Mark Laaser, PhD, MDiv
> Porn has become the #1 seller on the internet and extremely damaging to
> marriage. Learn to recognize the symptoms and to prevent and help overcome
> addiction to internet sex.
> 
> ########################

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11th Annual Smart Marriages Conference, Denver Adam's Mark Hotel,
June 28-July 1, 2007
Pre-Conference Training Institutes June 26-28
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 2-3
Details: http://www.smartmarriages.com/conferencedetails.html

List your program in the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com

Order conference audio & videos/CD/DVD/MP3s: 800-241-7785 or at
http://www.iPlaybackSmartMarriages.com

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW
Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332 
diane at smartmarriages.com