Adoption/ Addiction/Good Ole Boys/Downloads!!/ Catholic Mingle/Grandparents rights/ Gramma Week - 7/12/06

Thu Jul 13 16:17:48 EDT 2006

- ADOPTION RESOURCES INQUIRY
- GOOD OLE BOYS   
- LAASER SESSIONS ON ADDICTIONS
- FINALLY, YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THE ENTIRE CONFERENCE
- CATHOLIC MINGLE
- GRANDCHILD ALSO VICTIM IN DIVORCE
- GRAMMA WEEK 

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- ADOPTION RESOURCES INQUIRY

Hi Suzanne,

I don't know if they have one near you, but Bethany Christian Services has a
number of offices around the country, and they specialize in adoption and
post-adoption education and counseling.

In their Atlanta, GA office, they are using the Relationship Enhancement
Program to provide post-adoption support to couples who have adopted
children with special needs, out of the recognition of the stress that this
can pose even for a strong marriage.

Rob Scuka, Ph.D.
National Institute of Relationship Enhancement
http://www.nire.org
#########################
- GOOD OLE BOYS   

> Dianne, 
> I want to commend you on a great conference and I want to suggest that one of
> the most valuable (and enjoyable) sessions was the Sunday morning workshop on
> "marriage education for good ole boys".  I think it should be a keynote in
> Denver.  It points out that in the concern about diversity we focus on race
> and ethnicity but ignore the caste system among whites in the United States,
> and that by doing this we exclude these folks and leave them underserved.
> It's an entertaining and practical session with all kinds of good ideas for
> including and reaching this very large percentage of our couples.  I hope
> you'll listen to it and consider giving this a larger audience in the future.

Per your suggestion, I listened to it last night, and, I agree, I was
totally fascinated. It's amazing how much we don't know - don't think of.
And, I agree and highly recommend this session to EVERYONE. It applies
across the board to so many versions of "good ole boys" not just those in
the south.  There are working class, rural class, farming class -
everywhere.   

I also greatly appreciate suggestions about WHO/WHAT should be a keynote.
Please, everyone send me your nominees for who/what should be promoted to
keynote - which sessions does the entire group need to hear?  After
listening to this workshop, I'm thinking we should try to get Jeff
Foxworthy.  Is that his name?  I'd never even heard of him, but he's funny!

> 756-614
> Marriage Education for Good Ole Boys
> Jennifer Baker, PsyD, MFT
> Learn to supplement existing marriage programs with film clips, Country music,
> humor and stories to engage often neglected low-income white couples.

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- LAASER SESSIONS ON ADDICTIONS

>> Diane, 
>> Just reviewed the conference and spotted the "porn addiction" keynote by Mark
>> Laaser.  I tried to find how to get a CD of his address, but could not.  Can
>> you let me [everyone?] know when CDs will be available of the recent 2006 SM
>> Conference keynotes?
>> Tom Tyndall

All the DVDs, CDs and MP3s are ready and have been shipped - I'm already
watching/listening to them.  Mark Laaser's TOP-rated 'sex/porn addiction'
keynote and 2 hr workshop are available on CD or audio MP3.  The keynote is
also available on DVD.  Order at: 800-241-7785  OR....see below

###############################
- FINALLY, YOU CAN DOWNLOAD THE ENTIRE CONFERENCE

PlaybackNow has created a snazzy new website AND you can now download MP3
versions of any session from the Smart Marriages Conference directly to your
computer!  In a matter of minutes.  Or, at least it only took me 3 mins when
I did a test run.  I downloaded a 2 hour workshop in three minutes.
Download for only $9.95 and there's no shipping/handling fee - talk about
instant gratification.....

You can listen on your computer, or Ipod, or burn a CD and listen in your
car.  You need I-Tunes.

The new site has the entire 2006 conference posted and will add past
conferences as they can get to them.  They'll soon have all ten past
conferences on this newly formatted site.  You can order CDs, DVDs, MP3s.

To visit the new site: http://www.iplaybacksmartmarriages.com/

If you have problems, call Playback at 800-241-7785.

Diane 

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- CATHOLIC MINGLE

Diane, 
Thought you could let the list know about a new website to help single
Catholics find others in their faith.  It's free. Marrying someone of your
own religion does improve your chances of marital success.
http://www.catholicmingle.com/
Paul

############################
> - GRANDCHILD ALSO VICTIM IN DIVORCE
> London Telegraph
> July 4, 2007
> By Sarah Womack, Social Affairs Correspondent
> 
> Britain's rising divorce rates have a "traumatic" effect on hundreds of
> thousands of grandparents who are losing regular access to their
> grandchildren, a Government consultant will say today.
> 
> Geoff Lawler will tell the Townswomen's Guilds that an estimated one million
> children are denied contact with their grandparents, resulting in misery on
> both sides.
> 
> But the role of the UK's 13.5 million grandparents is not recognised properly
> by Government and very few have a legal right of access to estranged
> grandchildren.
> 
> Around 82 per cent of children receive some care from grandparents, 60 per
> cent provide child care and five million spend the equivalent of three days a
> week caring for children.
> 
> About 160,000-170,000 marriages will break up this year, affecting 150,000
> children, Mr Lawler, of the Public Affairs Company, a parliamentary relations
> consultancy, will tell the Harrogate gathering. "If you consider some 200,000
> non-custodial fathers have lost contact with their children, then so have
> 300,000-400,000 grandparents," he will say.

And, in the United States, where we have a million children affected by
divorce each year, grandparent rights are largely ignored.  It's a two way
street, the grandparents' rights to their grandkids but even more important,
the grandkids' rights to their grandparents.  Divorce unravels the
intergenerational tapestry - for generations to come. I guess I'm especially
sensitive to all this, this week.   - diane

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- GRAMMA WEEK   

Those of you that have been on the list, know about "gramma week" which I've
been doing all ten years of Smart Marriages - started the first year with
just one grandchild.  For past six years, all five of my grandkids come each
summer to spend 10 days with me. Their parents go off for a child-free
"marriage vacation". I highly recommend it to all able-bodied grandparents
as the best marriage-strengthening gift you can give your adult kids. My
sons and daughters-in-law look forward to it all year long. I also think of
it as preventive grandparenting - to help make sure I don't ever end up
either losing contact with my grandkids or raising them full time after a
divorce. (50% of all divorced adults return to live with their parents after
divorce - bringing their kids with them.) But much more, I just do it for
the sheer pleasure, it's a total change of pace and makes me feel so young.
I also love giving my grandchildren the idea that their parents have a
romance going on that doesn't require their presence.  And that marriage is
fun and romantic.  They get all giggly over the idea. "Wonder what mamma and
daddy are doing right now?" I ask them. "Probably dancing. Probably holding
hands while they kayak around the glaciers. Probably kissing on top of the
Eiffel Tower. Tee hee." It's also absolutely the best way to get to know
your grandkids - just you and them with no parents in between.  Mine are now
almost all grown up, 6 - 11.  Very different than when they were 1 to 7, but
we can now go farther and do bigger adventures.

If you don't have parents that can do this, I encourage you to set up
a swap with siblings or friends.  It takes planning - so start now. If you
can't manage a week, take a long weekend.  It's a message to each other -
and a strong message to your kids.  We must practice what we preach.

Be back at you on July 24th.  10 years younger - at least, at heart.  ;)
- Diane (aka Daba)

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10th Annual Smart Marriages Conference, Atlanta Marriott Marquis Hotel,
June 22-25, 2006
Download the brochure and registration form at
http://www.smartmarriages.com/Brochure.06.pdf

List your program in the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com

Order conference audio & videos/CD/DVD/MP3s: 800-241-7785 or at
http://www.iPlaybackSmartMarriages.com

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW
Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332 
diane at smartmarriages.com