President's Day/Calendars/Movies/Tracks/Conflict - 2/06

[Smartmarriages]

- PRESIDENT'S DAY 
- LOVESEATS CALENDARS
- THE THING ABOUT MY FOLKS
- MENTOR TRACK? 
- CONFLICT AND KIDS

###################
- PRESIDENT'S DAY 
> George Herbert Walker Bush has been married longer than any other president.
> "I married the first man I ever kissed.  When I tell this to my children they
> just about throw up." - Barbara Bush

> In case you're wondering, Jimmy and Rosalyn Carter were married in 1946.
> George and Barbara in 1945.  George and Barbara met when she was 16, at a
> dance. Jimmy and Rosalyn were set up by his sister. Harry Truman met Bess at
> Sunday School when he was six years old.

> John & Abigail Adams, "the marriage that molded a country", were married 54
> years and were called the country's first "power couple". It's said she had
> the knack for reining him in whenever he seemed at risk of driving his career
> off a cliff.  It was she who wrote him to consider the rights of women: "In
> the new code of laws, I desire you would remember the ladies. Do not put such
> unlimited power into the hands of the husbands. Remember, all men would be
> tyrants if they could."

> There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a
> door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side
> of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
> Ronald Reagan

######################
- LOVESEATS CALENDARS
Because you asked: 

Loveseats 2006 calendars: Each month features the photo and love story of a
couple whose love and marriage have "gone the distance." 9 1/2" x 19 " with
space for notes. $12 includes shipping and handling. To order, send a check
to: Jennifer Baker, Ozarks Marriage Matters, 2885 W. Battlefield Road,
Springfield, MO 65807.

#######################
- THE THING ABOUT MY FOLKS

> My husband rented the movie "The Thing About My Folks" for us to watch last
> night (Valentines Day).  I think it is one of the best I have seen on
> marriage.  Check it out.  - Judy Johnsen, New York
>  
Wow, Mr Johnsen, thank you!  I had not even heard of this film but on your
recommendation, watched it last night.  Stars Peter Falk (Columbo), Olympia
Dukakis, Paul Riser.  After 47 years of marriage Mom is a walk-away wife
leaving behind only a vague note of explanation. Father and son set off on a
road-trip which gives them time to ponder what really goes on in any
marriage and what could be changed if they were given the chance. The last
half hour is where it's at. It's one to recommend to your married kids, to
couples in your classes, to show at community marriage events.  I'd love to
know what others think.  Maybe it is time to give another movie award.

I also loved "Match Point", Woody Allen's latest.  Warning: it is R rated
with the tag line: "Passion Temptation Obsession. There are no little
secrets." Stars Scarlett Johansson, femme fatale. I'm curious to hear from
any of you that saw it. It's still in theaters, not yet available on DVD.
- diane 

###########################
- MENTOR TRACK?  

> Diane, 
> I find the tracks system very helpful.  I hope you plan to make one for
> Mentors. 
> Paul

I do plan to make a Mentors track.  It just takes time to pull each one
together.  I appreciate questions/suggestions/topics.  I inadvertently left
some obvious sessions off several of the tracks - just a brain glitch on my
part.  Don't be offended if your session is omitted, just send me an email
to bring it to my attention.  And, for those of you that have no idea what
we're talking about, a "Track" is just a way to identify themes running
through the conference -- a list of all the sessions focused on Domestic
Violence, Low Income, Stepfamilies, etc., for easy reference as you
register.  Listed on the website at:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/conference.tracks.html
 - diane 

###############################
- CONFLICT AND KIDS
> Diane, 
> I'm glad you posted the latest of many studies of the effects of parental
> conflict on children. Here's a hopeful note to go with it. When
> CompassionPower first started treating resentful, angry, and abusive clients
> 14 years ago, we found that their children almost universally presented with
> moderate to severe symptoms. At first we treated all the children, until the
> numbers got overwhelming. We had to set up a triage system, in which it took
> several weeks to get to the moderate level symptoms in children, things like
> anxiety, school problems, anger, and sleep disturbance. To our surprise and
> delight we found that when their parents were attending the workshops and boot
> camps and becoming better skilled as intimate partners, the symptoms in their
> children disappeared. Now at the beginning of our groups we treat only violent
> aggression in children but offer their parents a guarantee: If they do the
> hard work of self-regulation and become more compassionate to one another,
> their children will get better without therapy. Like all social animals,
> children learn by modeling -- watching adults. If they watch conflict, they
> learn how to devalue one another. If they watch compassionate negotiation,
> they learn how to care for one another even when they disagree.
> Steven Stosny
> www.compassionpower.com

Plan to take the Stosny Institute Training in Atlanta:

> 907 Two Days - Monday & Tuesday, June 26 & 27
> Self-Regulation: Love without Hurt &
> The Core Value Workshop
> Steven Stosny, PhD
> Qualify to teach the full Core Value Workshop program, an intensive treatment
> for domestic violence offenders and child abusers. Also qualify to teach "Love
> Without Hurt" an 8-hour program to add on to any marriage education course -
> designed to recognize & prevent domestic violence and child abuse, it doesn't
> use the terms "abuse" or "violence," which could scare off clients or send
> them into denial. This course includes emotional regulation skills that make
> it easier to learn marriage skills and use them under stress. $100 spouse
> discount.  Click for more information:
> http://www.smartmarriages.com/stosny.html
> 
He'll also present a Keynote and several other sessions including a 2-hr
Mini Training in the popular Power Love program.

> 702 - Sunday June 25
> Power Love - MINI
> Steven Stosny, PhD
> Women maintain and nurture relationships, but men decide if and when
> they¹ll improve. In this male-friendly program, learn to engage men
> and teach scientifically-validated behaviors to improve marriage.

And, for those of you that need to beef up on Domestic Violence assessment
and programs, check the Track at:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/violence.track.html

############################