Last Minute Gifts/ Everlasting/ Marriage-Friendly Office Policies and Parties - 12/20/06

Wed Dec 20 13:39:43 EST 2006

- LAST MINUTE GIFT IDEAS
- EVERLASTING QUOTES
- MARRIAGE FRIENDLY POLICIES
- OFFICE PARTIES 

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- LAST MINUTE GIFT IDEAS

I was reminded that marriage education classes make fantastic last-minute
gift ideas by two emails I received this morning. The first is from a
grandfather whose mission is to break the divorce cycle in his family. He's
consulted with me about classes and has kindly copied me on the email he
sent his 21 year old recently-engaged granddaughter. I think it's a great
idea and that he did a great job and I'm going to share it with the list and
also post it on the gift-certificate page at smartmarriages.com.  The second
was a Gift Certificate email blast from Dianna and Richard Daffner for their
Intimacy Retreats held at a beach in Florida. Just think how much your honey
would to find this in their stocking.  Hot, hot, hot gift.  They'd probably
also be delighted with a marriage education cruise, hot tub retreat, class
combined with a trip to NYC or Hawaii.  See the full list at:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html

While you're there also check out all the great Learn-at-a-distance programs
- DVDs, phone classes, etc.

Get your classes listed, schedules updated and put a gift certificate on
your website.  These classes make great gifts year round.

> Dearest xxxx. 
> 
> I am delighted about your engagement. However, I am also aware of our family's
> dismal marriage record.  I would like to give you the gift of attending
> several marriage education seminars. I am asking you to attend several, in
> part, because I'd like you to be as well equipped on your marriage journey as
> possible and, in part because, as the oldest grandchild, I'd like to ask you
> to rate the courses so I have a better idea of which ones to recommend to your
> sisters and cousins. I expect they'll also be heading toward the altar in the
> not too distant future. I've found two in our area which I'm told are highly
> regarded.  These should get us started. You call and register and ask them to
> call me to arrange payment.
>   
> Relationship Enhancement Weekend in Bethesda, MD at the National Institute for
> Relationship Enhancement (NIRE).  They have a weekend Jan 27-28.
> 301-986-1479.      I think it's $350 or so per couple.
>  
> A 4-hour PAIRS program for premarital couples in Reston, VA on Sun Feb 25th
> from 1 - 5pm.     $85 per couple.
> 
> I want you to assure both of you that I'm told these are not "group
> therapy/counseling/touchy feely" kinds of seminars but are educational
> classes, like drivers ed, parenting ed classes. They teach you pointers/skills
> based on new solid research on how to "do marriage". I'm told even men enjoy
> them.   
>  
> This is all stuff that is completely ignored in our education system, and is
> not "taught" by parents who, themselves, are not GOOD role models (I was NOT a
> good one for your mother). Children that don't grow up with good marriage role
> models just are not prepared to see the way to resolve the inevitable problems
> of intimate relationships.  I didn't have those role models either, and
> neither did MY mother, (your great-grandmother). Hence our miserable record.
>  
> You may be far better equipped than most people as a result of your fantastic
> education. However, I ask that you forgive me for all of my fussing, and go
> along with this experiment.  Someone has to break the vicious cycle in this
> family, and I want you to be the first person of either gender in four
> generations of our branch of the family to not end up with a divorce!
> 
> Attending these classes are a very early step you can take in understanding
> where some future fabulous times and frictions will very likely come from.
> Give this your best - these classes are VERY important for your understanding
> of yourself and each other.
> 
> with all my heartfelt love,    gramps
---------------------------

> INTIMACY RETREATS: When two people join in intimacy and love, the whole world
> experiences joy. Angels sing, flowers bloom and snowflakes glisten!
> 
> Bring holiday delight to your relationship this year - give a Gift
> Certificate for an Intimacy Retreat!
> 
> Not sure which weekend to choose? Purchase the certificate now and select the
> date and location later!
> 
> Gift Certificate Information
> http://intimacyretreats.com/gift-info.htm
> 
> Schedule: 
> 
> Dec. 29-31 ~ New Year's ~ Siesta Key Beach (Sarasota, FL) Stay Sunday
> for optional New Year's Eve Celebration Dinner!
> 
> Jan. 12-14 Siesta Key ~ Warm up this winter!
> 
> MEXICO Jan. 27-Feb. 3 - The Ultimate Romantic Holiday! 
>     Feb. 3-10 Level 2 for prior participants
> 
> Feb. 16-18 Siesta Key ~ Valentine's Weekend!

For dates past Feb, see the web site.

VISIT THE SMART MARRIAGES DIRECTORY OF PROGRAMS AND CLASSES for a list of
Retreats, Cruises and Getaways, premarital and marital classes:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html

And, send me a letter you send to someone to gift them with a marriage
education class when they have a new baby.  I need a sample to post. - diane

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- EVERLASTING QUOTES
Hello, Diane.
Over the past few years, I've compiled a database of "couples married 50
years or longer" from all over the U.S. And I have added a feature on my web
site, http://www.everlastingmatrimony.com/ where people can subscribe to
receive a weekly relationship/marriage quotation/tip from one of these
couples.  The quotations are emailed every Monday to subscribers.
Sheryl Kurland, www.EverlastingMatrimony.com

#################################
- MARRIAGE FRIENDLY POLICIES

> "Maybe in addition to trying to get corporations to offer marriage education
> classes we should draw up a list of "marriage friendly" policies for the
> workplace.  - diane"

I've heard from dozens of you already saying that, YES, we do need this list
of "marriage friendly" policies for the workplace.  Anyone want to take this
on? If any of you want to send items for the list (child care, flex time,
include spouses in office parties and retreats, marriage ed classes, etc),
I'll pass them on to The Marriage Comission/Winshape/Chick-Fil-A folks who
are already working in this arena, or to whomever wants to organize this.
It would make a very practical poster session and such a list/one-sheet
handout would be useful to all of us.    - diane

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- OFFICE PARTIES 
> Diane,  I loved the Holiday party article and spent a fair amount of time
> cajoling 3 female friends that they SHOULD go with their husband to his annual
> party - NOT go home and put the kids to bed.  Even sent a group email
> reminding many parenting friends that the BEST Christmas gift they could give
> their kids is parents who love each other and take time to 'get out' alone -
> without their children and refresh their relationship.
> 
> I still, like Anne Bercht, feel the workplace is a HUGE target for us to hit
> about fraternization.  It USED to be frowned upon heavily when folks got 'too
> close' in the workplace. Now, I dare say, it's co-conspired at times!!!!  It
> grieves me that many many many coworkers know of, and condone or keep silent
> about, workplace affairs.  Our employers do not have much, if anything, to say
> about fraternization.
> 
> Must we remind employers that DIVORCE costs time away from work and now BOTH
> employers are paying insurance premiums per spouse where in most double income
> marriages the 'family' all share one plan - cutting down on at least one
> employers' insurance policy.  Must we remind that a truly large contributor to
> negative energy and lack of productivity at work is the time spent fretting
> and discussing parenting plans and custody arrangements?  Must we remind that
> when only ONE parent is responsible to be home caregiving at night, that
> flexibility of work hours (ie overtime) is completely hampered?
> 
> We need to get employers on our side!! I wonder how many spouses would stop
> the flirtation if they knew it would directly affect their employment and
> advancement.  Quite the threat to lose a spouse AND a job.
> Jennifer Scott 

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Diane Sollee, Director
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Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332 
diane at smartmarriages.com