Grand Rapids Trainings/Horse Match/ DivorceMobile/ Staying Married: A Family Tradition / Joint Custody - 8/29/06

[Smartmarriages]

- OCTOBER TRAININGS AT HEALTHY MARRIAGES GRAND RAPIDS
- THIRD OPTION COMES TO WEST MONROE
- REMINDER: REGISTER NOW FOR THE MARRIAGE RESEARCH & PRACTICE CONFERENCE
- THEY RIDE HORSES, DON'T THEY?
- THE DIVORCEMOBILE: A SIGN OF THE TIMES
- STAYING MARRIED IS THE GOLDEN RULE FOR THIS FAMILY

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- OCTOBER TRAININGS AT HEALTHY MARRIAGES GRAND RAPIDS
Oct 4: Bill Doherty will do three FREE events:  "Therapy with Couples on the
Brink of Divorce", "Good Marital Therapy: Look Before Referring" and "The
Overscheduled Family"

- Oct 24 -27, Family Wellness/George Doub Certification Training - "it is
the goal to have 300 certified trainers in the "Survival Skills for Healthy
Families" 

For information: http://www.healthymarriagesgr.org/

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- THIRD OPTION COMES TO WEST MONROE

> Diane,
> I have good news!
> Last year, our Counseling Center sponsored participation
> at the Dallas conference for our minister and the leaders of our Celebrate
> Recovery program.
> My motivation in assuring their attendance was to convince them to
> add a marriage program to the recovery meetings.
> The need for marital training is intense among folks in recovery.
> This week, we received approval to teach The Third Option class!
> So I'm celebrating.
> Joneal Kirby
> Christian Counseling and Resource Center, West Monroe, Louisiana
 
Congratulations. I'm sure this also makes Pat Ennis, creator of The Third
Option program very happy.  Hope you can find a way to track results.

For those of you new to the list, The Third Option, also being used
extensively in California Marriage Coalition efforts, received the Impact
Award at the 2005 Conference for being an exemplary teach-out-of-the-box
program: no training required, mentor-implemented, highly affordable with
excellent content and high satisfaction ratings and with both secular and
Christian versions available. It's a wonderful program - check it out!
- diane 

> 756-303 - listen to the 2-hr recording on CD or MP3 at 800-241-7785
> The Third Option ­ MINI Training
> Pat Ennis, MSW and a mentor couple
> Give couples a THIRD option - not endurance, not divorce. This
> enrichment/crisis group program is ongoing! Couples attend as needed.
> Self-contained manual makes it easy to implement.

Or, order the program, at: http://www.thethirdoption.com/

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- REMINDER: REGISTER NOW FOR THE MARRIAGE RESEARCH & PRACTICE CONFERENCE,
Sept 12-14, Chapel Hill, NC. Sponsored by the African American Healthy
Marriage Initiative/ Info at: http://www.aahmi.net or contact

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- THEY RIDE HORSES, DON'T THEY?
Here's a different kind of matchmaking service. I also saw one for dog
owners. Must love dogs.
> EquestrianSingles.com Celebrates 1,000 Marriages!
> <http://www.equestrianmag.com/news/equestrian-singles-marriages-8-06.html>
> Equestrianmag.com - Miami,FL,USA
> Must Love Horses! EquestrianSingles.com takes the lead In romance as thousands
> ride off into the sunset! Austin, TXŠ When horse ...

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- THE DIVORCEMOBILE : A SIGN OF THE TIMES

> ad report card
> The Divorcemobile
> Ford's bizarre new SUV ad
> SLATE.COM 
> By Seth Stevenson
> Aug. 28, 2006

> The Spot: A family drives through some gorgeous hills and along a pretty
> coastline, making picturesque stops at a roadside farm stand and a beach. "The
> Ford Freestyle crossover," says the voiceover. "More than 500 miles on a tank
> of gas." Then the SUV pulls to a stop in front of a housing complex, where the
> dad gets out with his luggage. "Thanks for inviting me this weekend," he says
> to the mom. He hugs his kids, they say their goodbyes ("See you next week"),
> and the SUV drives off‹leaving Dad by his lonesome. "Bold moves. They happen
> every day," concludes the announcer.
> 
> This is perhaps the weirdest commercial I've covered in this column. It is a
> freakish mash-up, blending a classically boring car ad with a bizarre stab at
> social commentary. I can't for the life of me see what Ford hopes to achieve
> here. . . . .

> According to John Felice, Ford's gene ral marketing manager, the ad is meant
> to be a "celebration of family" and also an ode to "the versatility of life
> itself, as well as the versatility of the Freestyle." Felice says he's
> received letters from "nontraditional families" thanking him for making the
> ad. And it really is nice to see a divorced family show up in a commercial. I
> hope it will start to happen more often. It's reality, and I've no doubt it's
> healthy for kids from broken homes to recognize themselves in the occasional
> TV ad. . . . 
> 
> More important, the spot makes no sense as an enticement to buy a Freestyle.
> Get this car and perhaps your tattered marriage will segue into an amicable
> separation? Get this car because it's big enough to fit ex-spouses and a
> passel of half-siblings? The spot itself isn't sure what it wants to be,
> masquerading as a tale about the Freestyle's fuel capacity before it veers
> toward this tacked-on twist ending. As the ad fades out, the viewer is left
> confused, and yes, even a bit forlorn. I suppose that's a bold move for Ford,
> but is it a wise one?

To see the full article:  http://www.slate.com/id/2148392/

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- STAYING MARRIED IS THE GOLDEN RULE FOR THIS FAMILY
By Ashley Petry
Indianapolis Star 
August 24, 2006

This is a great story that reminds me of Wade Horn's family as he explained
it in a Smart Marriages keynote: Dr Horn is one of 7 siblings all of whom
are in long marriages to the same first spouse. This tells him, he says,
that marriage is not just a game of chance but about family expectations and
learning how to do it.  He realizes that he and his sibs learned a lot about
how to do marriage by watching their parents (dad, a conservative business
man, and mom, a liberal feminist) manage their disagreements as they clearly
stayed very much in love.  Anyway, this piece illustrates a lot of the best
marriage advice, like:
- hang out with other married people!,
- family expectations do matter,
- don't let your friends or bothers and sisters get divorced - think of all
the fun these folks would miss if they did that.

And, I like the advice at the end of this piece:
> "Ultimately, the couples said, marriage gets easier because it becomes a
habit."

It also illustrates one of our major goals, helping more and more families
adopt "staying married" as a family tradition - as, "just the way we do
things in this family....what's expected." Family rules and expectations are
hard to break.   
- diane  
 
A few times a week, eight childhood friends gather at MCL Cafeteria at
Washington Square Mall.

The four married couples are mostly in their 70s, and all have celebrated
their 50th wedding anniversaries.

These gatherings are not, however, merely a meeting of old friends. They
also are family reunions. The four Blackwell siblings and their spouses,
along with a fifth sibling who lives in Texas, have been married for a
combined total of 280 years.

At a time when so many marriages end in divorce, the siblings know their
long, successful marriages are something to celebrate. . .

The story began almost 60 years ago. Joan, the oldest of the five Blackwell
siblings, was the first to marry. . .

All five siblings agreed that the most important element of a happy marriage
is hard work -- and a lot of it.

"You have to work together and unite into one," Ronald said. "There's not
any obstacle that's too tough to overcome if you really and truly want to
work together."

Ultimately, the couples said, marriage gets easier because it becomes a
habit.

"I don't care how much you're in love," Lois, 72, said. "The exciting part
of the love, when you first meet each other and get married, loses its grip
and becomes a different kind of love, a secure feeling. It matures."


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Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
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http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332
cmfce at smartmarriages.com

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