Reptiles in Love/ Laugh Your Way Deal/ Wedding Co-Ops - 8/29/06

Tue Aug 29 13:30:42 EDT 2006

- REPTILES IN LOVE TRAINING AND RETREAT
- BIG DISCOUNT FOR LAUGH YOUR WAY CURRICULUM
- NON-PROFIT WEDDING COOPERATIVES!!
- A DIVORCED DAD COMMENTS

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- REPTILES IN LOVE TRAINING AND RETREAT

This one is in the category of "because you ask".....you ask for interim
training opportunities "between smart marriages conferences" and you ask
about couples retreats, so here is a chance to train with one of the higly
rated presenters from the Atlanta Smart Marriages conference without having
to wait for next year in Denver.  And, here is an opportunity much closer to
home for many of you, as it says "in beautiful Wisconsin". Don Ferguson was
new to the conference this year and got great reviews.

> Reptiles in Love Training and Retreat
> Don Ferguson is offering "Reptiles in Love: Engaging the Most Challenging
> Couples", a CEU accredited clinical training, Oct 12. Registration: $115 ($100
> before Sept 29). Also, a Reptiles in Love couples retreat will be held the
> evening of Nov 10 and all day Nov 11. Programs are offered through Dean/St
> Marys Health Works in beautiful Madison, Wisconsin-WI. Learn about sponsoring
> a training or retreat or registering at:
> 800-368-5596
> Web: http://www.reptilesinlove.com

Check him out by ordering his Smart Marriages recording at 800-241-7785:

> 756-606
> Reptiles in Love: Escape Your Primitive Brain
> Don Ferguson, PhD
> Normal mind/body defenses protect us in danger, but can damage intimate
> communication. Learn specific steps to self-soothe, and, then, to improve your
> relationship. 

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- BIG DISCOUNT FOR LAUGH YOUR WAY CURRICULUM

> Hi Diane!
> We are clearing out our stockroom and I have a special offer for Smart
> Marriage list subscribers.
>  
> We have 25 copies left of our 1st edition "Laugh Your Way to a Better
> Marriage" Study Guides.  This is a 12-week study great for marriage mentoring
> couple-to-couple or in small groups.  We are offering them in packages of 5 -
> one leaders guide and 4 participants guides. The leaders guide includes 2 DVDs
> and each DVD is broken into 6 lessons.  The package retails for $76.95 but if
> people call and say they saw it on Smart Marriages they can have it for $25.00
> which includes shipping.  First come first served...
> Call Joy at 866-52-LAUGH

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I'm going through old emails and finding some great ones I missed dating
back to January:  

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- NON-PROFIT WEDDING COOPERATIVES!!

What a wonderful idea.  Now if they'd just require that couples had to take
a marriage education class to qualify to borrow the wedding items. This
co-op is in Silver Spring Maryland.  Does anyone know of others?
I'll link this from the Smart Marriages website.

> Your Dream Church Wedding can be a reality!
> 
>       Do you live in or near Silver Spring Maryland? Is your income
> insufficient to pay the huge costs of a normal wedding?
> 
> ALL BRIDES ON TIGHT BUDGETS which just aren't stretching far enough for
> today's wedding costs are welcome here!
> 
> Our only restrictions are these: it must be a first wedding for both the bride
> and groom, and the bride and groom must both be no older than 30 years of age.
>     
> We are totally non-profit.  There is no payment for our services and we do not
> accept cash donations from our brides. We offer you the free use of a wedding
> gown, bridesmaids gowns, tuxes, tablecloths, veils, gloves, flower girl
> baskets, ring bearer pillow, wedding cake knife set, champagne glasses for the
> bridal couple, centerpieces, altar flowers, church music, reception music,
> tulle, stainless steel buffet servers, etc.
> 
> You will also see on this website certain discounts from area wedding artists
> offered exclusively to our clients. We receive no payments  from these artists
> for being featured on our website and we are very grateful to them for the
> discounts they offer you.
> 
> Our gowns are beautiful, new or near new, in a variety of styles, and from
> various designers. These are the same gowns you would pay $600 to $2,000 for
> in a bridal shop! You pay nothing to use one, simply return it after the
> wedding. You don't even have to clean it!
> 
> While we do not accept cash donations from our brides, and we do not ask for
> any donations of any kind, we gratefully accept donations of bridal items from
> anyone who shares our enthusiasm. These donations may include wedding gowns,
> bridesmaid gown sets, gloves, veils, tulle, tuxes, centerpieces,  ring bearer
> pillows, shawls, etc. We also need a few dedicated volunteers. Please browse
> through our website and contact us at SusanAnnSFO at verizon.net
> 
To browse the site, see photos of gowns, and figure out how to start a
wedding co-op in your area, visit:
http://www.stanthonysbridal.com/home.html

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- A DIVORCED DAD COMMENTS

I posted this to the website on the "before you even think about divorce"
page, but don't know if I ever shared it with the list:

> Diane, On the fallout of divorce, the following comes from a Smart Marriages
> regular who is participating in my online Art of Loving Well workshop.  His
> poignant response comes after reading "A Distant Bell" by Elizabeth Enright, a
> story about all that goes on during the summer days 11-year-old Susie and her
> dad spend together.  (I have his permission to share these comments.) Nancy
> 
> A few lines from the story will set the scene:
> 
> "The year after my father and mother were divorced, my father, who got me in
> the summers, took me to a town on the Cape called Harbor Landing.... "My
> father, I sensed, was trying hard.  I smiled obligingly, though I thought he
> could not know much about me if he didn't know I loathed most boys and planned
> never to marry; and it was no joking matter.  I was eleven years old, with
> straight hair, and skinny knees that jutted out above my socks.  I felt
> uncomfortable with my father, and I think he did with me.  We did not know
> each other very well, having lost track of each other, rather, in the years
> just past."
> 
> I am a divorced father of now a 19-year-old daughter.  She was 10 at the time
> of the divorce. I can completely sympathize with Suzie's dad.  I think that he
> is really quite a good dad and trying very hard to be an effective parent for
> his daughter.  I can sympathize with the fathers that pack up and leave,
> 1,000's of miles away and never see their kids.  It is selfish and wrong but I
> have often felt that it would be a relief to completely forget I have a family
> and start fresh. It is so painful to not be with your flesh and blood, to know
> that your reputation is constantly being soiled in the home that you purchased
> and maintained, even if your ex-wife is conscious not to say anything bad
> about you.  The very connotation that her mother could not live with him
> another minute is completely different than living with spite while her father
> is in the home. At least her father is not so bad that her mother could not
> have him in the home.
> 
> The thought that he only 'gets' to see her at court ordered times and is not
> involved in seeing her progress toward adulthood day after day gnaws on him
> multiple times each day. The financial siphoning of his income without any
> recognition or thanks.  The erosion of the dream.  He is organizing as good a
> time for Suzie as he could imagine without really knowing what she likes or
> would enjoy.  He can only afford what he has arranged for her.  He really
> doesn't know her except the frozen memory of what she was like before he left
> home.  That is why he may treat her like a little girl, because that is all
> he's known her to be.  Beyond that day is primarily a guess, a tapestry of
> moments he talked with her in snippets.  Maybe the notes she wrote.  He pieces
> together who he knows is Suzie and hopes that he is somewhere close to who she
> might be.
> 
> So his time with her is joyous yet searing as he is reminded of times he has
> missed with her, not knowing what her favorite food is, how her teachers react
> to her essays, not knowing if her shoe size is a 3 or 4, or what she looked
> like before she got her last haircut.  He knows that she doesn¹t know him
> either.  Much of what she does know is tainted by her mother¹s comments and
> her wishes of what she would like a dad to be.  He does not meet her
> expectations and wants of a father because he is not meeting the most basic
> need of being one, being there.
> 
> I cannot fault him at all.  He is being much better of a father than many
> others who are in his position.  I can fault him like I can fault a wheelchair
> bound person for blocking the hallway.
> 
> Susie has lost her place in a family.  She is not the apple of her father¹s
> eye because she cannot see her father¹s eye, except for a few days on summer
> vacation.  She has lost the communication skills of the two genders as she
> does not see the interaction of a committed couple but rather sees a
> romanticized interaction of potential second-go-'round suitors.  She has lost
> her confidence in dealing with boys/men.  She has lost being a part of a cast
> that is family but now becomes a special guest of her father at a summer
> resort.    
> 
> Nancy McLaren The Loving Well Project School of Education Boston University
> http://www.bu.edu/sed/lovingwell 617.353.4088
> 
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11th Annual Smart Marriages Conference, Denver Adam's Mark Hotel,
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Pre-Conference Training Institutes June 26-28
Post-Conference Training Institutes July 2-3
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diane at smartmarriages.com