Bush anniversary/Surviving/ Because of You/ Squid & Whale - 10/05

[Smartmarriages& #174; Mailing List]

- BUSH WEDDING DATE GOOF?!
- HOW TO SURVIVE YOUR MARRIAGE
- BECAUSE OF YOU 
- SCENES FROM A DIVORCE: SQUID AND WHALE

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- BUSH WEDDING DATE GOOF?!

I heard about the Bush anniversary on the evening news, that the President
and First Lady were leaving for Texas where they'd celebrate their wedding
anniversary on Sat.  I guess the news report picked it up from the Bush
speech on Tues (see below). Apparently the network didn't check the record.
Obviously, I didn't either.  Just goes to show you can't believe everything
you hear, even on the nightly news. However, Sheri Stritof of
marriage.about.com did check.  I guess the President was just overly eager
in his anticipation of his anniversary which is NEXT Sat Nov 5th. He was
just a week ahead of himself.

It's amazing to me how many on the list sent really unpleasant emails and
unsubscribed because I congratulated the Bushes on their anniversary.  This
wasn't about partisan politics or about Iraq or any other Bush policies.
This was simply recognizing that the Bushes have a 28-year marriage and have
set an example of what appears to be a loving, healthy marriage for the rest
of the world. 

The president's miss-speak gives those of you that choose to, time to send
them an anniversary card. Just address it to The White House, Washington,
DC, 20500. The rest of you can send your "other" sentiments. No point in
sending them to me.  - diane
  
> Hi Diane,
> I think the President forgot his own anniversary date... George and Laura were
> married on November 5, 1977 ... Not on October 29, 1977. Here is the notice
> from our marriage.about website where I list a few of the references I used
> for the November 5th date - including the Presidential Library.

> Sheri Stritof 
> marriage.guide at about.com

> Did President George Bush Goof?
> Did President George W. Bush do a forgetful husband thing and forget his own
> anniversary date? On Tuesday, October 25, 2005, addressing the Joint Armed
> Forces Officers' Wives' Luncheon , George said, "Laura and I happen to have
> our 28th anniversary of our own coming up Saturday."
> 
> According to our research, George and Laura were married on November 5,
> 1977... not on October 29, 1977! Here are other sites that list November 5th
> as their wedding date:
> 
>     * Famous Texans
>     * First Ladies
>     * American President
>     * PBS
>     * U.S. Embassy
>     * George Bush Presidential Library
>     * ABC News
> 
> The 28th wedding anniversary's modern gift is an orchid. We think George needs
> to give Laura some really beautiful orchid plants on November 5th!

When George and Laura married on Nov 5th, 1977:
> They had 75 guests. They didn't have any bridesmaids, or groomsmen, or flower
> girls, or ringerbearers. Their wedding invitations were printed by hand.
> They didn't have a honeymoon. They were each 31 years old.

For more info about the Bush wedding and marriage and also info about Rosa &
Ramond Parks marriage visit: http://marriage.about.com/b/a/214646.htm

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- HOW TO SURVIVE YOUR MARRIAGE
Wichita Eagle 
Oct 25, 2005 
Balance work and play in your marriage

Married? Here's some advice on balancing work and play from the book "How to
Survive Your Marriage" (Hundreds of Heads Books, www.hundredsofheads.com,
$13.95), straight from people who've done it:

"Start a business: My husband retired a few years ago. Going from 40
peaceful hours at home by myself to 40 hours of 'togetherness' made me nuts.
So I started my own part-time business with my best friend, creating flower
arrangements. We work two days a week -- at her house, not mine. It's
probably saved my marriage -- it's definitely saved my sanity!"
--Mary Bright, Allentown, Pa., married 35 years

"Every couple must spend time together on a regular basis. My husband and I
each lead very full lives. But we often spend time together to experience
what the other is doing. For example, I have attended every one of my
husband's softball games. In turn, my husband comes to my volunteer and
church events. These simple activities give recognition and importance to
our marriage."
--Pat Q.T., Calif., married 35 years

"For a perfect marriage: Have a cleaning lady, separate bathrooms and order
groceries online."
--L.M., New York, N.Y., married three years

Order on amazon from $2.95 new and used by clicking:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0974629243/smartmarriages/

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- BECAUSE OF YOU 
> Diane,
> I just saw a very neat marriage music video on VH1.  Kelly Clarkson has
> written "Because of You", which video portrays a couple having an
> argument.  The husband is about to throw down the family picture.
> Freeze frame.  Kelly sees life afterwards for herself.  Then she sees
> life afterwards for her daughter and grandchild.  At the end of the
> music video she returns to that freeze frame moment.  What do
> you think she chose?
> 
> The lyrics are available at www.kellyclarksonweb.com.  This song is
> important to me because our parents were divorced, and our grandparents
> made poor marital decisions, also.  We've chosen not to repeat those
> bad marriage decisions.  It's not been easy, but no relationship in
> life is worth more.


I just spent a lot of time trying to find the video on vh1.com and I-Tunes.
It's not available. The lyrics without the video don't make much sense.
Anyone else seen it?  - diane
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- SCENES FROM A DIVORCE: SQUID AND WHALE
Scenes From A Divorce
Noah Baumbach Really Threw Himself, and His Parents, Into 'The Squid and the
Whale'
By David Segal
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, October 30, 2005

NEW YORK
Early in Noah Baumbach's semi-autobiographical new movie, "The Squid and the
Whale," a mom (played by Laura Linney) and dad (played by Jeff Daniels) call
a family meeting and announce to their sons that they are getting divorced.
It's presented as a no-biggie, best-for-everyone split, but it devastates
the two boys, who didn't see it coming and who dislike the sound of the
joint-custody arrangement that has been worked out.
    
Critical acclaim heaped upon
Critical acclaim heaped upon "The Squid and the Whale," an independent
project, has earned Baumbach interest from mainstream studios. (By Helayne
Seidman For The Washington Post)

"Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Saturdays and every other Thursday," says Baumbach,
who at the moment is sitting in Bar Pitti, a restaurant in the West Village.
"I remember it because that was exactly the same arrangement that I had
growing up."

In the movie, this child-sharing deal is sold to the kids as loving and
perfectly reasonable. But it sounds, more than anything, like a logistics
nightmare and it provides one of many moments in "The Squid" that make you
groan and laugh at the same time. The boys have just been sentenced to years
of bag-packing hassles and unhappy flux, and their parents -- Dad,
especially -- are surprised when the news is met with anything more than a
shrug.

"I have to admit, that is one of the moments where the audience's reaction
-- it was somehow freeing to know that I wasn't crazy," Baumbach says. "I
thought at the time of my parents' divorce that I was upset by deeper, more
profound things and I was just taking it out on the joint custody agreement.
But that disruption was bad enough. That was a huge deal for a teenager."

Baumbach, who is 36, put a lot of himself in "The Squid," which opens in
Washington on Friday. The action is set in 1986 in the Brooklyn neighborhood
where he grew up, and his family, like the one in the film, is composed of
two boys and a mother and father who both write for a living. (Baumbach's
real-life dad is novelist Jonathan Baumbach. His mother is retired Village
Voice film critic Georgia Brown.) But if this is a family portrait, it is
pretty unflattering. The dad in "The Squid" is pompous and colossally
self-absorbed, pathologically cheap and so combustible he's livid when he
can't find a parking spot. Mom is vastly more sympathetic, though she admits
to a number of extramarital affairs. So the first question for Noah Baumbach
is pretty obvious: What was it like talking to your parents after they'd
seen the movie?

"Initially, a little surreal," he says, sweeping a hand through his black
hair. "But we are very close and they knew this was coming for a long time.
It didn't just appear one day."

And all those life parallels aside, he adds, enough was changed to make the
whole production feel like a work of fiction, to him as well as to his
family. Which perhaps is a news flash that Baumbach's younger brother hopes
everyone hears loud and clear. His on-screen corollary reacts to the divorce
with tears and then beer drinking and chronic masturbation.

"Those are things my brother never did," says Baumbach, repressing a very
slight grin. "But I would guess people are asking him about it. I feel bad
about that."

To read the full article, go to:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/10/28/AR2005102800
322.html

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