Senate action/ Haltzman makes short list/Psychotherapy on the road/Bliss or Bicker? - 12/05

[Smartmarriages]

- THE MARRIAGE MONEY LEGISLATION - ANOTHER GLITCH
- HALTZMAN MAKES TIME LIST
- PSYCHOTHERAPY ON THE ROAD TO .......WHERE?
- RESEARCHERS: WHY DO SOME COUPLES FIND BLISS WHILE OTHERS BICKER?

##########################
- THE MARRIAGE MONEY LEGISLATION - ANOTHER GLITCH

The Good News: The Budget Reconciliation Bill passed the Senate, Dec 22nd.
The Bill included a provision to reprogram $100 million of TANF
out-of-wedlock birth bonus money to marriage strengthening programs.

The Bad News: The Senate bill is not identical to the bill sent to them by
the House (the Senate added three "conditions"). So the legislation must,
AGAIN, go back to the House for a vote when Congress reconvenes in February.
The House has to accept the Senate's provisions, or start over.

Those that want to defeat the Budget Reconciliation act will be hard at work
lobbying over the next months.  Stay tuned.

- diane 

###########################
- HALTZMAN MAKES TIME LIST

I edited out the unimportant stuff (like the descriptions of the
other books), but just wanted you to see that one of our own
made such an important -- "how to improve your life in 2006" -- book list.
Only six books selected and Scott Haltzman's new book made it. Hope you all
saw Tucker Carlson's interview last week -- Carlson started with, what else,
sex.  - diane 


Time Magazine
By ANDREA SACHS
Dec 27, 2006

6 Books for a Better You in 2006

Whether it's losing weight, tuning up your psyche, or improving your
relationships, there's a new book offering helpful ways to change
your life

So you've decided to be perfect in 2006? Andrea Sachs (a.k.a. Galley
Girl) surveys the fresh crop of self-help books to get you started
down the road of self-improvement in the coming year.

€ The Sonoma Diet by Dr. Connie Guttersen (Meredith)

€ Give It Up! My Year of Learning to Live Better with Less by Mary
Carlomagno (William Morrow)

€ Bad Childhood, Good Life by Dr. Laura Schlessinger (HarperCollins)

€ The Flavor Point Diet by Dr. David L. Katz (Rodale)

€ The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's
Heart Forever by Dr. Scott Haltzman (Jossey-Bass)

Determined to shore up your marriage this year? With nearly half of
marriages ending in divorce, a million American men a year have the
door slammed on their faces by dissatisfied wives. The author, a
psychiatrist and marriage counselor, insists that many of these men
can save their marriages. When men "work hard to improve their
marriages by using their inborn manly skills to put their wives'
needs above their own," says Haltzman, "not only do their marriages
improve but they are happier and more fulfilled than at any other
point in their lives. "Divorce is ugly, says the author, but not
inevitable.

MOTTO: "When the marriage falters, it's our job as guys, who
innately hate to admit defeat, to revive it."


€ The Healthy Guide to Unhealthy Living: How to Survive Your Bad
Habits by Dr. David J. Clayton (Simon & Schuster)

To see descriptions of these other 'healthy living' books, visit:
http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1144330,00.html.

To order Scott's book now and get him to sign it for you in Atlanta, click
on amazon.com : 
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=smartmarriages&
; 
camp=1789&creative=9325&path=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F07
87979597%2Fqid%3D1134526455%2Fsr%3D2-1%2Fref%3Dpd_bbs_b_2_1%3Fs%3Dbooks%2526
v%3Dglance%2526n%3D283155

####################################

- PSYCHOTHERAPY ON THE ROAD TO .......WHERE?
New York Times
Dec 27, 2005 

This article by Benedict Carey covers the early December "Evolution of
Psychotherapy" Conference in Anaheim.  It's held every 5 years and this time
had around 9,000 attendees all trying to figure out "where next?"  Here are
some excerpts: 

> Many therapists at the conference said that if the field did not incorporate
> more scientifically testable principles, its future was bleak. . . . .

> Ms. Picarello said that the conference was well worth the money she spent,
> more than $800 in fees and travel, and the week she had taken off to attend,
> even though she found some of the presentations on MARRIAGE counseling
> disappointing. 
> 
> "Way too much talking by the therapist, I thought," she said, after one of
> them. "It seemed so old-fashioned, like it was drawn from another era."
> 
> And there was the rub. As psychotherapy struggles to define itself for an age
> of podcasts and terror alerts, it will need ideas, thinkers, leaders. Yet the
> luminaries here, many of whom rose to prominence three decades ago, were
> making their way off the stage. And it was not clear who, or what, would take
> their place. . . . .
> 
Maybe they should try Smart Marriages. - diane

For the full article, see:
http://query.nytimes.com/search/query?ppds=bylL&v1=BENEDICT%20CAREY&
fdq=19960101&td=sysdate&sort=newest&ac=BENEDICT%20CAREY&inli
ne=nyt-per 

##########################
- RESEARCHERS: WHY DO SOME COUPLES FIND BLISS WHILE OTHERS BICKER?
December 26, 2005, 11:07 AM EST

ROCHESTER, N.Y. (AP) _ Wanted: newlyweds willing to divulge what really
irritates them and what works in their marriages.

A new University of Rochester study seeks to survey 800 newlyweds in the
United States Canada over four years to find out why some new marriages are
so full of bliss and others are so full of battles.

About 40 percent of all divorces occur in the first five years of marriage,
said Ronald D. Rogge, an assistant professor of psychology who is conducting
the study. He already has a general idea of what he'll find because of a
doctoral dissertation he did on the same topic.

"It boils down to what you learned in kindergarten: You need to be nice to
each other," Rogge said. "It turns out it's not as important what the topic
of the problems are. What's more important is how you handle those problems.
Do you negotiate those things with your partner, or do they turn into major
battles?"

Rogge added that too many married people act like singles, thinking only
about what they want and need, instead of being considerate of their
partners.

"America has been drifting toward a culture of entitlement, 'What can you
give me? What can you do for me?"' Rogge said. "Good relationships, even the
best relationships, take work, take selflessness."

Rogge hopes the results will help therapists identify earlier which topics
to tackle in counseling. He also wants to develop a list of the best
questions for religious leaders to ask engaged couples, considering that 90
percent of couples exchange vows in some type of religious ceremony, he
said.

Couples taking part in the study must be married for six months or less and
have to submit to a 20-minute phone interview. They then take an online
survey and complete another online survey each year for three more years.
Rochester area participants are asked if they'd like to be videotaped
discussing a subject that might be sensitive to them.

The study has about 200 couples so far and is plans to quadruple that number
through ads in newspaper classified sections all over the country.

**************************
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