Post Nuptials/Good Morning America/ Essence Magazine and Spa Perk - 12/05

Wed Dec 21 14:18:55 EST 2005

- GOOD MORNING AMERICA LOOKING FOR COUPLE
- ESSENCE MAGAZINE LOOKING FOR COUPLE: PERK THE MIRAVEL SPA IN ARIZONA!!

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- GOOD MORNING AMERICA LOOKING FOR COUPLE

Good Morning America hopes to do a follow-up on Monday's Boston Globe piece
(see below) about the mediation process known as "post nuptials.'' They are
looking for a couple whose marriage was saved by the post-nuptial process.
The interview would involve either being flown to New York to do the
interview, or sending a crew to the couple's location, to do the shoot. If
necessary, they they will put the interview subjects in shadow to protect
their identities.  However, given the integrity of this show and the great
opportunity to tell others about an approach that avoids divorce, I can't
imagine that you'd want to remain anonymous.  They hope to shoot this in
early January.     

If you can help on this one, or know someone that can, have them contact:

Christopher Francescani
Producer
212 456 6484
Christopher.Francescani at abc.com

Here is the article which features John Fiske who presented this as a
workshop to rave reviews at both the 1998 and 2000 Smart Marriages
Conferences -- a pioneer!  Maybe with the Boston Globe and Good Morning
America boosts, this will turn out to be an idea whose time has finally
come. - diane  

> 759-509 (order on CD or audio cassette for $15 at 800-241-7785)
> Marital Mediation: Not Divorce Mediation
> John Fiske, JD
> Marital Mediation helps couples stay married by developing written,
> enforceable contracts to redefine the terms of the marriage around problem
> areas of money, time, children. Process includes discovery, disclosure, and
> negotiation. 
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- SEALING A CONTRACT AFTER THE MARRIAGE
Couples spell out duties, finances
The Boston Globe
By Patricia Wen, Globe Staff
December 19, 2005

They enjoyed life as carefree newlyweds, with two paychecks and no children.
But a decade later, they were quarreling spouses in a suburb of Boston; she
was at home with two children, he traveled the world as a hard-charging
executive. Through tears and tantrums, she and he found their marriage to be
on the brink of collapse.

Their relationship rebounded after the two tried an unusual approach: Across
a conference-room table, they worked out a contract.

They agreed to separate many of their finances and to delineate family
obligations to reduce tension. The pact contained provisions if they
divorced.

But it said: ''Our first and joint commitment is to make our marriage work."

Last week, the couple celebrated a 27th wedding anniversary.

''There are things we continue to work out and discuss," said the husband,
53, who asked that his name not be used to protect the family's privacy.
''But we're in this forever."

Weary of marriage counseling but loath to divorce, a small but growing
number of couples are trying a drastic approach to keep relationships
intact, say lawyers, mediators, and therapists.

They draft a contract known as a postnuptial agreement, which is similar to
a prenuptial contract, except that it is negotiated after the wedding vows.
The postnuptial accord spells out what happens if the couple's relationship
goes downward, but its focus is on keeping the marriage together.

Typically, postnuptials call for spouses to create separate pools of assets
and to define one's financial obligations to the other, minimizing what are
the most stressful topics for sparring couples.

But these documents can also codify what is written on the kitchen bulletin
board, such as who washes the dishes or who shovels the snow. It can also
cover sensitive topics, such as the religion in which to raise the children.
Clarifying these issues often helps couples who do not want to be part of a
statistic: Almost half of all marriages end in divorce.

''It's a midcourse correction in their marriage," said John A. Fiske, a
Cambridge lawyer and a mediator, who drafted the postnuptial contract for
the couple, who have celebrated their 27th year of marriage. He said he
writes about five postnuptial agreements a year. A decade ago, he did
roughly two a year.

Therapists who work with couples say the process of drafting postnuptial
agreements can help trigger sweeping behavioral changes that might keep
couples together.

The process of writing it down in a legal format, and of separating
finances, can change the power dynamics between a couple that no amount of
therapy can do.

''It helps them take more individual responsibility," said Janet Wiseman, a
family and divorce mediator in Lexington.

Couples do not have to be on the brink of divorce to seek postnuptial
agreements.

To read the rest of the article go to:
http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2005/12/19/sealing_a
_contract_after_the_marriage/

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- ESSENCE MAGAZINE LOOKING FOR COUPLE: PERK THE MIRAVEL SPA IN ARIZONA!!

Essence Magazine is launching a new Relationship Rescue column -- a kind of
"he said, she said" feature. They're looking for a MARRIED couple who is
having "intimacy" problems. They will send the couple to the Miraval Spa
Resort in Arizona http://www.miravalresort.com for an all expenses weekend
get-away to receive first-hand expert advice on how to improve their sex
life: http://www.miravalresort.com/act_sexuality.php

Interested couples should contact:
Zulaika Jumaralli
Essence Magazine
(212) 522-1267 - phone
zjumaralli at essence.com

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