MSNBC/ Divorce Moratorium/ Registration? /Minis? /Wi-Fi/ No-Fault - 12/05

[Smartmarriages]

- SCOTT HALTZMAN ON TUCKER CARLSON DEC 20TH
- DIVORCE MORATORIUM FOR MARRIAGE WEEK USA CELEBRATIONS
- WHAT ARE THESE MINI TRAININGS?
- COULD WI-FI SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE?
- CATHOLICS AND "NO-FAULT" DIVORCE

###########################
- SCOTT HALTZMAN ON TUCKER CARLSON DEC 20TH

Sorry, I forgot to say that Tucker Carlson is on MSNBC and the show airs at
11pm EST. To be sure, check your local listings.  - diane

> Scott Haltzman's will be on Tucker Carlson Tuesday Dec 20th to discuss his new
> book "Secrets of Happily Married Men" Order the book now and get him to sign
> it in Atlanta --only $15.61 on amazon - to order, click:
> 
> http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=smartmarriages&
> camp=1789&creative=9325&path=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F07
> 87979597%2Fqid%3D1134526455%2Fsr%3D2-1%2Fref%3Dpd_bbs_b_2_1%3Fs%3Dbooks%2526
> v%3Dglance%2526n%3D283155
> 

##########################
- DIVORCE MORATORIUM FOR MARRIAGE WEEK USA CELEBRATIONS

> Diane, I¹m meeting here in Oklahoma City with the head of our divorce court
> and want to talk to him about a one-day divorce moratorium.  Do you have any
> info I can take to the judge to show him how many places besides Evansville
> have successfully done this?  Thanks
> Jim Priest

I remember more CHMIs doing this but an archive search only turned up this
post on Evansville.  If you've been successful with a NO-Divorce Day, please
share.  - diane 

>> Diane,
>> We just finished a news conference with Mayor Lloyd and his wife, the county
>> clerk and a host of interested people kicking off National Marriage Week
>> here in Evansville.  The mayor read the proclamation for Community Marriage
>> Day (Feb. 9th), the county clerk's office announced No Divorce Day for Feb.
>> 12th and the week culminates with a Sweetheart banquet on Fri. Feb. 14th.
>> We hung a 4ft by 20 ft banner on the outside of the city-county building.
>> All the television stations in the area were there and some radio.  We were
>> very pleased with the official start of National Marriage Week.  I am doing
>> interviews all week 10-12 scheduled so far.
>> Ann Gries PhD
>> Coordinator of Community Marriage Builders
>> Evansville, IN 47714
>> www.marryright.org
>> 812-477-2260 

Here's a clip from the "MARRIAGE WEEK USA" ideas page:

> - Ask judges and divorce lawyers to declare a moratorium on divorce - NO
> Divorces filed or granted during Marriage Week USA.  Ask them to "schedule
> vacation" that week if that's what it takes.  Get this idea to the media!

NOW IS THE TIME TO PLAN YOU "Marriage Week" Celebrations.  See
at http://www.smartmarriages.com/marriage.week.html  -- let us know what
you're doing in your community so we can add to the page.

> Hi Diane . . .
>    I'm sorry . . .perhaps I've just overlooked it on the web-page . . .but I
> am unable to find the cost of the pre-conference institutes and a downloadable
> registration form for the the 2006 conference. Can you help me?
> T. Raymond McCranie
> Chatsworth, Georgia

Hi 
I know the web site can be frustrating. If you click on FAQs at the top of
the institute page http://www.smartmarriages.com/institutes.html
you'll see that Institutes are $125 PER DAY "with conference registration"
or $180 per day "without conference registration". (In other words, if you
attend the conference, you get a discount on the Institutes.)

Also, if you and your spouse attend the same institute, there is a $50 PER
DAY discount for her spouse based on your sharing one set of materials.

The full list of Institutes is now available on-line (we post these as early
as we can so people can plan their travel, leave time, etc) but registration
forms will not be available until March. But, not to worry: I guarantee that
if you register by May 5 you will get your first choice of Institutes.

See the full list of Institutes at:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/institutes.html

The Institutes provide and amazing opportunity to get trained in dozens of
programs.  Since you can't attend them all I hope you'll encourage others in
your community to attend -- to fan out and cover all the bases-- have a
variety of programs to teach in your community/congregation.

I see you're from Georgia -- tell your colleagues that this is as close as
the conference is ever going to get.  Where is Chatsworth, by the way?

And, send your mailing address so you can be sure to receive conference
brochures and registration forms as soon as they're printed.

In meantime, here is a link to a CONFERENCE FLYER which I hope you'll print
and post all over Chatsworth!
http://www.smartmarriages.com/Flyer.06.pdf

################################
- WHAT ARE THESE MINI TRAININGS?

> Diane,
> I'm confused.  I understand what a training Institute is: a pre or post
> training session that trains and certifies us to teach a marriage or family
> education course.  BUT what are the Mini trainings you're talking about? I
> gather that they take place during the conference?  Can we just skip the pre
> and post conference trainings and take them during the conference, instead?
> You say either one "qualifies us to teach the programs in our community" (this
> is taken from the Conference Flyer I downloaded from your website.)  Please
> explain.  Thanks, Cynthia (Attended in Reno.)
> P.S. Are the volunteer work-exchange positions available only to students?

I can see how the Mini trainings might be confusing.  The Minis are 2-hour
"workshops" during the three day conference.  They are limited to "teach out
of the box" programs -- in other words, you don't have to have any training
at all to teach these programs, but, training is a nice luxury especially
when it's taught by the creators of the programs.  The Minis will give you
guidelines and pointers from the developers programs to help you do a better
job of teaching -- to become more comfortable, ask your questions, etc.

On the other hand, the PRE AND POST Conference training Institutes are one,
two or three DAYS long and are for the programs that do REQUIRE training.
They also require an additional fee of $125 per day over and above the
conference registration fee.
 
The MINIs are included in the conference registration fee.  They take place
during the conference, concurrently with other workshops.  (All conference
workshops will be 2 hrs long in Atlanta. The Minis and the longer workshops
are formats that have been suggested for several years, that we're finally
trying out.)  
 
Hope this helps.  Email me again if it's still not making sense. I hope this
will all become clear as soon as I can publish the full conference program
on the website and in the conference brochure in Feb.  - diane

P.S. Yes, the volunteer work-exchange positions are limited to students.  We
make a few exceptions for hardship cases, but in this field almost everyone
is a "hardship case" -- so it's gotta be good.  - diane

The complete list of pre and post conference training institutes is already
posted on the website at http://www.smartmarriages.com/institutes.html

I should be able to post the Mini's sometime in January. - diane

#################################
- COULD WI-FI SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE?
Survey Reveals How Wireless Technology is Changing Lives

AUSTIN, Texas, Dec. 13 /PRNewswire/ -- Wi-Fi goes beyond wirelessly
connecting computers -- it also connects people. A new lifestyle survey . .
. makes it clear that while enhanced productivity is one good reason to get
Wi-Fi, enhanced relationships just might be the most compelling benefit of
all.

Approximately 1,000 Americans from all income levels and walks of life were
polled by survey.com . . . .65 percent of respondents said Wi-Fi technology
helps them stay in touch with friends and family via tools such as instant
messaging and e-mail, and 53 percent said that Wi-Fi gives them freedom to
socialize online. Moreover, 46 percent of those surveyed said they agreed
that the time gained. . .  allows them to dedicate more time to MARRIAGE or
personal relationships.. . . . "We have seen considerable anecdotal evidence
that Wi-Fi can change the way we work, play and live, and these results give
us considerable insight into how wireless networking can improve daily
life," . . . 

##########################
- CATHOLICS AND "NO-FAULT" DIVORCE

Diane, 
Your readers may be interested in the ongoing effort by attorney and
constitutional law professor, Steve Safranek, to protect faithful
spouses and innocent children from routine no-fault divorce. Via his
project, TrueMarriage.net, the no-fault divorce courts of Ohio are on
trial.
Bai Macfarlane 440-871-5404
Steve Safranek ssafranek at truemarriage.net  (734) 827-8096

Catholics and 'no-fault' divorce
The Wanderer 
Dec 8, 2005
Matt C. Abbott    

ANN ARBOR, Mich. ‹ The role of the "Catholic" in a Catholic family
will play out in Ohio courts this winter in the controversial divorce
case of MacFarlane v. MacFarlane, which seeks to challenge the
state's right to interfere in a Catholic marriage.

The Catholic marriage bond between Maria Christine "Bai" MacFarlane,
and her husband, William "Bud" MacFarlane, in a civil divorce court
is on appeal. Two religious freedom and marriage issues are at stake
in this appeal. First, should the civil court stay its hand (stay
neutral in the case) pending the canonical decision of the Catholic
Church?

This case is concurrently being considered by the tribunal in the
Diocese of Cleveland.

Second, if the civil court will not stay its hand, should the
faithful spouse at least be able to introduce religious beliefs to
determine custody issues and other matters? The appeal is being
handled pro bono by Stephen J. Safranek, a professor at Ave Maria
School of Law and founder and director of the TrueMarriage Project, a
501(c)(3) entity.

This case and cases like it across the country will determine whether
Catholics and other religious people will be swallowed by the no-
fault system.

The case of MacFarlane v. MacFarlane has special significance to
Catholics throughout America. Bud MacFarlane is the executive
director of the Mary Foundation, and the author of three apocalyptic
novels. He is well known in certain Catholic circles.

In July 2003 he left his wife and four boys and shortly thereafter
filed for a civil divorce. Despite breaking up the family by
requiring his children to spend half their time in his house and half
with his wife, and even though he is seeking to declare that he has
no obligations to the woman who bore, raised, and educated these
children, Bud has taken the position that he is in full communion
with the Catholic Church and is living the life of a Catholic.

Having rejected repeated attempts by his wife for reconciliation, Bud
left the home and allegedly drained $23,000 from the family's savings
account ‹ thereby forcing his wife to beg him and/or her family to
support herself and the four children. Moreover, since he was the
working spouse, Bai was left completely dependent on Bud for
continued support. As is to be expected, the money was doled out in
humiliating dribs and drabs until a support order was put in place by
a court.

This case is all the more tragic because Bud sued to force his wife
to stop home-schooling their four children. When he succeeded, Bai
MacFarlane refused to comply with the court order. All the children
were then given, by the court, over to Bud's custody, three were put
into the local Catholic schools, the fourth ‹ a child who was a mere
two years old ‹ was placed in day care.

The devastating results in this case were predictable. The no-fault
divorce culture has no affection for home-schooling. The default
position of no-fault is that the family structure is broken after
divorce proceedings begin, and each party is left to fend for himself
or herself as an autonomous entity ‹ the children being split before
these modern-day Solomons.

Since home-schooling is dependent upon a father who works, the
default is to end home-schooling. Since home-schooling allows the
home-schooling parent a great degree of time with the children, it
must be rejected for institutional schools. And, since home-schooling
usually involves a religious perspective contrary to no-fault
divorce, the children must be taken to a place where no judgments are
made about divorce.

Indeed, the home-schooling culture is so alien to the no-fault
divorce culture that in any modern divorce, only one can survive.

In the MacFarlane case, the attorney for the father noted in opening
remarks that this case was about "rendering to Caesar what is
Caesar's and to God what is God's." His words accurately describe the
fact that the no-fault divorce system is Caesar allowing judges to
determine what is best for children ‹ since no-fault divorce exists ‹
children must be made to accommodate that legal fact. Children are
just one of the things rendered to Caesar by no-fault divorce.

No-fault divorce reaches beyond home-schooling and attempts to
control the religious free speech of the non-breaching party. In this
case, the psychologist assigned to the case commented negatively on
the wife who had allegedly told one of the children about divorce,
leading to the child saying, "Daddy broke the family."

Of course, such a statement is an absolute no-no in no-fault divorce,
which maintains the strife is nobody's fault. Since one of the key
aspects of no-fault divorce is to ensure that nobody is blamed, any
shadow of casting blame labels one party as the "judgmental" one.
Consequently, that party is likely to lose parenting time and
parenting control. Bai was punished severely.

Because there are so many divorce cases, if one single party has the
audacity to fight the divorce, the system is put under a tremendous
strain. In MacFarlane v. MacFarlane, judges who make the findings of
fact in such cases are not enamored of a party who takes two weeks of
time in court. "Render unto Caesar" means render your marriage to the
state.

Among the critical situations in the MacFarlane case was one wherein
the parties were to "consent" to sending the boys to school. The wife
in this case was told by her attorney at that time, "consent or you
may lose custody of your children." The attorney did not advise his
client that such a decision had to be made after a full hearing, that
she had the right to appeal that decision, and a whole host of
remedies were available.

Indeed, the client did not even have the opportunity to speak to the
judge ‹ all was carried out in shuttle diplomacy from judge to
lawyers to clients. Having consented to this situation, and having
then breached her consent, the wife was stripped of being the primary
residential parent.

Crafting An Alternative

Most Catholics see this situation for the tragedy that it is. But
most of us think that such a tragic scenario cannot happen to us. Bai
MacFarlane could not believe it either.

These events and ones similar to them are happening around America
today ‹ thousands and thousands of times. TrueMarriage seeks to craft
an alternative for faithful Americans and those who simply want out
of this mess.

Today, Bai MacFarlane is fighting for her right to ensure that her
boys will grow up to be faithful Catholics. Although she is on trial,
so to are the courts of Ohio.

For more information about this case and about TrueMarriage, visit
the web site www.truemarriage.net.


- diane