Terry Real/Saltzman "Almost Perfect/ New Babies & Marriage/ Marriage Legislation -4/05

Mon Apr 25 18:52:18 EDT 2005

- ARE YOU BRINGING TEENS TO THE CONFERENCE??
- STILL DECIDING ON YOUR INSTITUTE?
- PERFECT FOR THE MILITARY
- MARRIAGE AND NEW BABIES: FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
- MARRIAGE LEGISLATION: FEEDBACK REQUEST

#####################

- ARE YOU BRINGING TEENS TO THE CONFERENCE??

We've got several exhibitors that would like to hire your older teens/young
adults to help at their booth.  If you're bringing kids that would like
work, email about who you're bringing and how to contact you.  - diane

######################
- STILL DECIDING ON YOUR INSTITUTE?

FREE Terry Real Telecourse: This Wed April 27, 8pm EST.

If you are still undecided about which institutes to take at the Smart
Marriages Dallas Conference, you might want to listen to this teleclass with
Terry Real.  He'll be speaking on the Practice of Relational Empowerment --
the focus of his full-day training Institute at Smart Marriages. Or, listen
if you'd just like to learn more about this approach from one of the
country's top marital experts.  To listen, call 646-519-5883 enter pin 8219#
at 8pm.  If you miss the call, you can listen to a recording of the class at
405-244-4000 -- enter box number 100

> 913 One Day - Monday
> REP: The Relational Empowerment Process
> Terry Real, MSW
> REP principles give couples skills "to keep their eye on the prize" - teach
> women how to be assertive and loving and men how to be responsive and
> generous. Includes the relationship grid, resistance to change, unfinished
> family-of-origin business, and core negative images. For application in
> marriage classes or clinical practice. $100 spouse discount. Click for more
> information: http://www.smartmarriages.com/real.rep.html

##########################
- PERFECT FOR THE MILITARY

Diane, 
I've got a suggestion for an easy way to help military couples -- we've
found that our couples love the Joel Saltzman Husband/Wife books.
Tricia Czepiel
Director 
Family Support Center
Schriever AFB

Those would be the "How To Be The Almost Perfect Husband: By WIVES Who Know"
and the "How To Be The Almost Perfect Wife: By HUSBANDS Who Know" - written
by the true experts!  I checked with Joel and he says the military -- Air
Force, Army, Navy, Coast Guard and Marines -- are among his best customers.
Of course, Julie Baumgardner at First Things First, also put the "almost
perfect" books in their "Marriage Week" couples baskets, so guess they have
across-the-board appeal.  Joel has sold the books each year at Smart
Marriages and this year will launch two new, teach-right-out-of-the-box
"Almost Perfect" Programs at the Dallas Conference.  If you don't make it to
his workshop, be sure to check out the programs at his exhibit.
http://www.shakethatbrain.com/

> 210 - Friday morning, June 24, Dallas
> The ³Almost² Perfect Programs
> Joel Saltzman 
> Teach two highly interactive programs for your church, community or military
> base: ³Almost Perfect Spouse² and ³Almost Perfect Parent²  humor and
> easy-to-use tools for success.

###########################

- MARRIAGE AND NEW BABIES: FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
> I know it is last minute, but today, Monday, April 25th, I heard a good
> interview with parents on Focus on the Family Radio...also available to listen
> to on the web at www.family.org. Very helpful info on what to do when the new
> baby comes home, to preserve sanity and the marriage.
> John Fuller 

############################

- MARRIAGE LEGISLATION: FEEDBACK REQUEST

> Diane,
>  
> I am with the Columbus Marriage Coalition in Columbus, Ohio.  Our group has
> been debating the pros and cons of attempting to legislate mandatory
> premarital education for the State of Ohio.  One side argues that it would be
> productive to propose mandatory premarital education because it would get the
> public's attention and it would get the issue on the table.  The other side
> argues that no state has passed mandatory premarital education.  Furthermore,
> an effort to do so would turn the public against premarital education.  We are
> aware of the fact that a few states have used incentives like lower marriage
> license fees for people who have completed premarital education.
> We would be interested in hearing from you and people in other places about
> encouraging or legislating premarital education.
> Thanks,
> Jeff D. Sherrill
> jsherrill at meersinc.com
>  

Dear Jeff, 
It's true that it sure would GET ATTENTION to propose mandating/requiring
premarital education.  You'd get reactivity from all fronts.  Better to do
as FL, MD, TN, MN, OK have done and offer a marriage license fee reduction
incentive to those that take a premarital education course. That also gets
lots of attention to the issues.  You might want to raise the marriage
license fee if it's low to start with and then lower it to close to zero for
those that take a course - make the difference speak loudly and mean
something. THAT would also be a statement of where the state stands on
valuing marriage education and on divorce prevention.  You can also change
the wait period.  In Fla, those that take a marriage ed course can get
married immediately upon applying for their license.  Those that haven't,
must wait three days to receive their license.  Sends a message and also
prevents "drunken sailor" marriages....gives them time to sober up.  But
don't ruin your chances by setting the bar too high.  Illinois, for instance
tried to legislate a 60-day wait for those that didn't take a marriage
education class.  The legislation went down in flames.  If the wait is too
long or the financial penalty too stiff, you'll fail.  Also, be sure you
include provider language that allows family life educators to teach the
classes -- do not restrict it to licensed counselors and therapists or just
to those designated by clergy.  That leaves out the majority of folks who
are trained to teach the classes.  Check out the marriage legislation page
at http://www.smartmarriages.com/legislation.html and also search on the
archive -- there has been a lot of discussion on the e-newslist. ALSO, be
SURE you attend the Legislative workshop and forum in Dallas where we'll
introduce model language/concepts for marriage and divorce legislation.
Hope this helps.  I'll share this w/ the list so others can contact you with
their advice and experiences. I ask you to share any replies with me.   -
diane 

To SUBSCRIBE or UNSUBSCRIBE, or Change your subscription address,
use the form on our website (http://www.smartmarriages.com). Click
Newsletter - right under the puzzle piece.

Please respect our copyright. If you wish to use any of our content send an
email and request permission.

This newslist shares information on marriage, divorce and educational
approaches.  Opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by members of the
Coalition.

This is a moderated list. Replies are read by Diane Sollee, editor. Please
indicate if your response is NOT to be shared with the list.  PLEASE include
your email address in with your signature.

To read ALL past posts to the newsletter, visit the Archive at:
http://archives.his.com/smartmarriages/

9th Annual Smart Marriages Conference, Adam's Mark Dallas June 23 - 26, 2005
Pre and Post Conference Training Institutes June 21 - 29, 2005/75 hrs CEU
To DOWNLOAD a conference brochure:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/registration.info.html
For a complete list of training institutes, visit:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/institutes.html
Subscribe to the FREE e-newslist at http://www.smartmarriages.com

List your program in the Directory of Classes at
http://www.smartmarriages.com
Order conference audio & video tapes/CD/DVDs: 800-241-7785 or at
http://www.playbacknow.com/cmfce

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW
Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332 FAX 202-362-0973
cmfce at smartmarriages.com