Newsweek: Becoming Parents/Newlywed Foundations/Singles/Weddings - 4/05

Fri Apr 22 18:49:18 EDT 2005

- BABIES: AND, NOW, THE HARD PART
- FOUNDATIONS FOR NEWLYWEDS
- BUMPER STICKERS FOR SINGLES??
- WEDDING SEASON

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- BABIES: AND, NOW, THE HARD PART

NEWSWEEK MAGAZINE
April 25, issue 

That sweet little thing is about to commandeer your life. Be prepared.

Here's a clip form this "becoming parents" article that features John
Gottman:

> What's a parent to do? Drawing on data from a 13-year study, Seattle-based
> psychologist and marriage expert John Gottman found that couples who are most
> likely to remain happy after becoming parents are those in which the husband
> admires his wife, keeps romance alive and understands his wife's inner life.
> (It helps if the woman reciprocates but, according to Gottman, it's hubby's
> behavior that makes the difference.) Gottman also encourages couples to
> communicate with kindness. Instead of screaming, "You lazy s.o.b.! Do I have
> to do everything?" take a deep breath, lose the edge in your tone, and say, "I
> know you're sleep-deprived, too. But will you please put the dishes away?" And
> to preserve intimacy, Gottman urges parents to go out on regular dates‹without
> the wee ones. 

I encourage you to read the whole piece at:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7528648/site/newsweek/

And, we'll have several programs at Smart Marriages Dallas that will train
and fully equip you to help couples deal with the becoming parents stage as
instructors: 

> 901 Three Days - Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday, June 27, 28, 29
> The Becoming Parents Program
> Pam Jordan, PhD, RN
> Learn to teach expectant couples specific knowledge and skills - including the
> PREP skills -  for taking care of their couple relationship, taking care of
> themselves, relating to their baby, and dealing with the many ways becoming
> parents impacts their lives.  Each component of BPP is based on research on
> what facilitates individual and couple adaptation to parenthood.  Qualifies
> participants to teach the course. $150 spouse discount. Click for more
> information: http://www.smartmarriages.com/becoming.parents.html

> 902 Three Days - Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday, June 27, 28, 29
> Bringing Baby Home
> Carolyn Pirak, MSW, Joni Parthemer, MEd
> Become a Certified Gottman Educator!  Using a research-based workshop
> developed by John Gottman, learn to teach pregnant and parenting couples
> relationship skills essential for a successful transition to parenthood.  Help
> couples maintain intimacy, regulate conflict and understand their baby's cues.
> $150 spouse discount. Click for more information including reading
> prerequisites: http://www.smartmarriages.com/bringing.baby.home.html

> 607 - Sunday, June 26
> Love¹s Cradle
> Mary Ortwein, MS
> How shared love for a newborn plus simplified Relationship Enhancement skills
> can build trust and commitment and nurture permanent bonds in low-income,
> out-of-wedlock couples.

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- FOUNDATIONS FOR NEWLYWEDS

> Diane,
> In today's e-mail, you included a note from Steve and Kathy Beirne, from the
> Foundations Newsletter.  At the end is a web site -- www.skpubs.com but when I
> tried it, there's no such sight.  Is there an error? a missing letter or word
> in the address perhaps?
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> Sheryl P. Kurland
> Freelance Writer and Author

The correct website is totally different -- I pasted in his OLD web site
from an old database. (When I start making mistakes, I'm on a roll!)   The
url below is accurate -- which I've copied from the Foundations listing on
the Smart Marriages Directory of Programs:

> FOUNDATIONS NEWSLETTER
> This user-friendly newsletter supports newly married couples with short,
> to-the-point articles, pertinent research, original cartoons, wedding photos,
> a marriage-strengthening exercise and an article on spirituality in each
> issue. Enthusiastically received by readers, it makes a great wedding or 1st
> anniversary gift.  Published  since1993.  Free samples available. One year
> subscription, $20, two year $25, three years, $30; discounts for churches or
> Marriage Prep programs.
> S&K Publishers, Steve and Kathy Beirne, editors
> Portland, Maine - ME
> 800-775-4757
> Email: editors at foundationsnewsletter.com
> Web: http://www.foundationsnewsletter.com

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- BUMPER STICKERS FOR SINGLES??

>> Diane:
>> I'd love a bumper sticker to promote SM but does that mean I have to get
>> married first?
>> Elizabeth Einstein
> 
> Nope, singles should definitely participate -- you can use the sticker as a
discussion topic with whomever might ask you about it.  Who knows, they might be
single?  :)  I'll send you one as soon as the new shipment arrives.  And, you
send me any stories that evolve. - diane

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- WEDDING SEASON

The big wedding season is upon us.  Even with the conference bearing down on
me, I'm aware that "here come the brides".  As usual, I've got two family
weddings to try to fit in BEFORE the Conference.  (Family once removed, I
should say.  My inner-circle family knows NOT to schedule weddings until
after the conference!!).

But, today's invitation reminds me to remind you of: WEDDING GIFTS.  I hope
ALL of you realize by now that the absolute best wedding present is a
marriage education class. I also want to remind any of you that have
listings on the Directory of Programs on the Smart Marriages website to send
me updates of your class schedules.  Check the format and send it ready for
me to simply plug in -- I do not have time to edit/format.  This is also a
GREAT time to add your listing if you don't already have one -- lots of
traffic w/ the upcoming conference and all the media.

Here, again, is a reminder of how I do the Wedding Gift Certificates:

>> I give the couple a gold picture frame and a certificate for a weekend
>> marriage education class.  I include a note explaining that the frame is
>> gold to remind them of their goal - their golden wedding anniversary. That
>> they should put their wedding picture in it and put it in a place where they
>> will see it every day to remind them of this long term goal -  that the
>> frame's intended final use is to someday frame their 50th
>> Anniversary photo.
>>
>> I suggest that they should take the course in the first six months after
>> their wedding. It's paid for - and it's good for a year.
>>
>> I also suggest that they take a refresher course every few years
>> on their anniversary.  That way they're more likely to get the most joy
>> out of those 50 years. I tell them there are lots of different courses and
>> variety is the spice of their success.

To see sample Gift Certificates, go to
http://www.smartmarriages.com/giftcertificates.html

Send me your ideas and I'll post them!

And, since it's that season, keep your eyes and ears open for additions to
the Wedding Rituals page:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/intentionalmarriage.html

Send rituals, toasts or quotes for the quotes pages.  Reading this reminds
me that in just a few weeks we'll be in Dallas where Bill Doherty will
update all this with his Fri night banquet "Let's Talk About Weddings".

And, for info on listing your programs and classes on the Directory (there
is a $50 annual fee to list) go to:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory.html

To SUBSCRIBE or UNSUBSCRIBE, or Change your subscription address,
use the form on our website (http://www.smartmarriages.com). Click
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9th Annual Smart Marriages Conference, Adam's Mark Dallas June 23 - 26, 2005
Pre and Post Conference Training Institutes June 21 - 29, 2005/75 hrs CEU
To DOWNLOAD a conference brochure:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/registration.info.html
For a complete list of training institutes, visit:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/institutes.html
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Order conference audio & video tapes/CD/DVDs: 800-241-7785 or at
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Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW
Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332 FAX 202-362-0973
cmfce at smartmarriages.com