Commitment Released!!/ Infidelity Contained?? - 4/05

smartmarriages at smartmarriages at
Thu Apr 7 23:07:31 EDT 2005

My, My, My -- what a conference we're going to have.  If I do say so myself.
- diane 




The Power of Commitment, Scott Stanley's latest book is officially released
today.  Or, should we say "the power of commitment is unleashed!!" -- that
has a nice ring to it and sure could solve a lot of our problems.   Buy the
book and sign up for Scott's Special Master Workshop on Commitment and
you'll be all the more equipped to help 'teach commitment'.

Which reminds me to tell you that this year there will be workshops closing
-- sold out; so get your registrations in just as soon as you finish your
taxes!!  If you register by the first week of MAY, you should still get all
your first choices.  But this Commitment workshop by Scott will be a very
close call.  As someone asked today, WHY didn't you make this one a keynote
so everyone could see it??!? Well, because Scott wanted to do a keynote on
the new Prep Program for Low Income Individuals AND because he liked the
idea of having 90 whole minutes all to himself to talk about commitment --
that's why. I can't tell him what to do -- I can only introduce him. ;)
 - diane 

Here is the workshop description:
> 501 - Saturday, June 25, Dallas
> The Power of Commitment in a ³Maybe I Do² World
> Scott Stanley, PhD
> Explore how commitment develops, is maintained, and how to avoid partners who
> are less committed. Why do men resist marriage and why do women, so often,
> over-interpret the commitment levels of men?
And, here is a description of the new book -- also gives you a better idea
of what will be covered in the 90 min workshop:

The Power of Commitment: A Guide to Active, Lifelong Love
By Scott M. Stanley
Forward by Gary Smalley

What is commitment and what's so scary about it? How can we better
understand and appreciate the value of commitment and make it last‹for a

In his new book, Scott Stanley, best-selling marriage expert, reveals that
the secret ingredient for finding lasting love is understanding commitment.
Too often, men and women find themselves in half-committed, Maybe I Do,
relationships that lead to frustration, sadness, and, in many cases,
divorce. But it doesn't have to be this way. Scott Stanley offers a
five-step plan‹based on his groundbreaking marital research and uniquely
spiritual approach‹for understanding commitment, including learning to
handle the pressures of everyday life, moving through the pain of
unfulfilled dreams and hopes, overcoming attraction to others that might
endanger a marriage, transforming your thinking from "me versus you" to "we"
and "us," and capturing the beauty and mystery of lifelong devotion,
loyalty, teamwork, and building a lasting vision for the future.  The new
work also includes frank discussions of myths and pitfalls of the cultural
trends toward premarital cohabitation and the search for a soul mate.

Endorsements for The Power of Commitment

"Nobody is more qualified to write this book than Dr. Scott Stanley.  As a
renowned expert on commitment in marriage, Scott not only speaks from a
platform of unquestionable authority, but he also makes his message easy to
grasp.  If you are looking for tangible steps to make your relationship
rock-solid, you can¹t afford to miss out on The Power of Commitment.  It is
sure to be one of the most important books you ever read for your marriage."
‹Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, Seattle Pacific University, Authors of Love

"In an age where disposable marriages are commonplace, The Power of
Commitment with its clear, action-oriented formula for making marriages last
is a breath of fresh air. This book should be mandatory reading for dating,
engaged, newlywed and not-so-newlywed couples.   Bravo!"
‹Michele Weiner-Davis, author, Divorce Busting and The Divorce Remedy

"This is one of the finest books on divorce prevention ever written.  Dr.
Stanley uses his groundbreaking research to help individuals and couples
revitalize their marriage and insure it for safekeeping."
‹Pat Love, Ed.D., author of THE TRUTH ABOUT LOVE

"In The Power of Commitment, marriage researcher Scott Stanley cuts through
the cultural misinformation (much of it coming from therapists) that
threatens and undercuts marriage in our society. Stanley is grounded in his
religious commitment, his mature practicality and in the research and
literature on marriage and divorce. This is a basic and practical book
brimming with wisdom and hope."
‹Frank Pittman, M.D., author of Grow Up! How taking responsibility can make
you a happy adult. 

BUY THE BOOK ON AMAZON for only $11.53 by clicking

Books sold out at the conference last year like hotcakes and many of you
complained that by Sat morning the books were all gone.  It's a good idea to
order the book now and bring it with you to the conference if you want Scott
to be sure you have a book for Scott to sign while you're in Dallas.  See
him at the workshop or at the PREP exhibit booth. - diane



This, "My Husband's Affair Became the Best Thing that ever Happened to Me"
is the title of a book by Anne Bercht who will present at Smart Marriages in
a workshop with Peggy Vaughan on the BAN Network. She'll also be part of a
new combined exhibit on "Infidelity Prevention and Recovery Resources" --
all kinds of resources gathered at one exhibit to help you help couples
learn that you can, indeed, recover from infidelity and restore commitment.

And, here is Anne's most interesting email today, about Oprah's interest in
the book and the issue.  - diane

My husband, Brian, is in Chicago to be taped for the Oprah show. They are
doing a program on cheating husbands. They called at 10AM yesterday morning
and Brian got on a plane at 6PM last night.

Today they will tape a panel discussion with 5 men who¹ve had affairs. The
discussion will be facilitated by Oprah herself, not a psychologist. The
producer says that Oprah said, ³No way. I¹m doing this myself. I want to
find out why they did it.²

I am flying to Chicago tomorrow morning to tape the live audience portion of
the show.  As I understand it I will sit in the front row with the other
wives, and we may or may not be asked questions. Of course, all of this
could change depending on how the show goes and how the topic develops.

They do not plan to feature our book on the actual show, but have
promised to feature it on the Oprah website.
The producers say they like our story because we are like that good
all-American family, the type others can relate to, and that you
wouldn¹t expect affairs to happen to. They like Brian because he is a good
guy who was morally opposed to affairs and believed that he could never do
such a thing, also because he now takes full responsibility for his actions
and does not blame me.  And that people would be touched and helped by our
lives and story.  We do not know the airdate yet. I'll keep you posted

Anne Bercht
Passionate Life Seminars

Here is the workshop description.  Anne and Brian are BAN support group
coordinators and Brian runs a website for the offending spouse.  Also look
for a Poster Session on the BAN Network and info on the BAN chapters at
their exhibit. 

> 408 - Sat June 25
> BAN (Beyond Affairs Network)
> Peggy Vaughan and BAN Coordinators
> Learn to utilize community-based BAN support groups and resources to help
> people recover from the devastating impact of affairs. Sponsor a chapter in
> your community.

To buy the book which has 5-star ratings by everyone that reviewed it on
amazon, click

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