Sobriety/Grant Reviewers/Undergrads/IMAGO for Churches - 4/05

Thu Apr 7 22:17:43 EDT 2005

- SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND MARRIAGE
- GOVT NEEDS GRANT REVIEWERS: APPLY BY APRIL 15
- BYU: WHERE TEACHING MARRIAGE TO UNDERGRADS IS THE ESTABLISHED NORM
- IMAGO INSTITUTE: 

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- SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND MARRIAGE

> I believe so deeply in the sanctity of marriage.  I applaud your efforts to
> try to mend the thinking of people about "disposable" marriages.
>  
> I am at a crossroads in my own marriage.  Do you have advice for people in
> marriages with substance abuse problems?  I know the traditional advice, i.e.
> al-anon, private counseling.  But I find alcoholism/chemical dependency is
> never a fair fight...never can you even argue during marriage without fear of
> the "other woman" coming into the battle.  The other woman in my marriage is
> vodka.  Do you have any literature, websites, Christian perspective on this
> subject? Thank you for anything you can suggest.  -

I strongly encourage you to purchase the recording of the 90-min "Learning
Sobriety Together" workshop from the 2004 Smart Marriages Conference.  Call
800-241-7785 and order "Learning Sobriety
Together" session #754-507 for $15 for an audiotape or CD.  90 min session.

The workshop will be repeated at the 2005 Smart Marriages Conference:

> Sunday, June 26, Dallas
> Learning Sobriety Together
> Gary Birchler, PhD, William Fals-Stewart, PhD
> This program works with couples together -- the drug/alcohol abuser and spouse
> -- to improve communication skills, build cohesion and to both promote and
> maintain sobriety.

I also encourage you to visit their website where you can download FREE
Learning Sobriety Together workbooks. Go to
http://www.addictionandfamily.org/

Click on "Manuals" on the left side of page and scroll to bottom to the
Workbooks Section.  The workbooks are free because they were developed with
federal research dollars.  - diane

> Learning Sobriety Together WORKBOOKS:
> 
>     Manual 6: Learning Sobriety Together: A Couple's Workbook This workbook
> was designed to be used by one partner, a couple working together, or for
> presenters who choose to use the Facilitator¹s Guide.
> 
>           Manual 7: Learning Sobriety Together: Facilitator's Guide We
> designed this guide to accompany the Learning Sobriety Together: A Couple's
> Workbook so that spiritual advisors, teachers, individuals, couples, friends,
> family members, and so on, COULD LEARN AND TEACH MORE ABOUT SUBSTANCE ABUSE
> AND ITS, and have access to information and skills that can be applied in
> every day life. If you choose to use this guide as presentation material, we
> have included a power point presentation that corresponds with each section
> and exercise introduced in the couple¹s workbook.

Here is a clip from an old email I sent to the list about the workshop:

>> This session dispels the myth that when substance abuse is handled - viola! -
>> the couples relationship will suddenly work.  It turns out that it doesn't
>> work that way. It's almost as if there is a formula whereby the number of
>> years of substance abuse equals the amount of damage done to the relationship
>> AND also to nutrition and eating patterns, to the sexual relationship, to
>> sleep patterns which are disturbed during recovery, etc. The Learning
>> Sobriety program provides step-by-step guidelines for helping couples through
>> this period into not just sobriety together, but back into a loving
>> partnership that works and has a chance of surviving.  Their Couple Promises
>> and contract approach are strategies that can be used in any marriage
>> education program or by couples themselves.  I strongly encourage ANYONE
>> dealing with issues of substance abuse in their marriage, family or community
>> to order the workshop tape and workbooks. - diane

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- GOVT NEEDS GRANT REVIEWERS: APPLY BY APRIL 15

It¹s that time of year again -- the Compassion Capital Fund is seeking grant
reviewers.

THE Compassion Capital Fund (CCF) program is a key component of the
Department of Health and Human Services¹ effort to help faith-based and
community organizations increase their effectiveness and enhance their
ability to provide social services to those in need. The CCF program
administers two (2) discretionary grant programs: the Demonstration Program
(intermediary grants) and the Targeted Capacity Building Program (mini
grants).

Reviews for the Demonstration Program will take place over five (5) days in
Washington, DC. Reviews for the Targeted Capacity Building Program will be
conducted remotely from your home or office. The government pays expenses
and a small honorarium for these services. Both reviews will take place in
the Spring. Dates will be announced shortly.

If you are interested, please register online by April 15, 2005.  Please
understand that your registration does not guarantee participation as a
reviewer. If you are selected, someone will contact you shortly. To
register, go to: https://www.lcgnet.com/secure/grantreview/ccf/register.asp

As I've said so many times, reviewing grants is THE ABSOLUTE BEST way to
learn how to write your own winning grants. And, you get paid to do it. Plus
a free trip to DC at the most beautiful time of year. Even if you don't want
to write a grant, it's a great behind-the-scenes opportunity to see your
government at work. Everyone who has done this has said it was an enjoyable
and enlightening experience.  - diane

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- BYU: WHERE TEACHING MARRIAGE TO UNDERGRADS IS THE ESTABLISHED NORM

Hi Diane:
I read with pleasure the efforts and offerings in undergraduate marriage
education across colleges and universities.  At Brigham Young University we
have a long history of such courses.  For example this past fall semester
there were some 1,085 students enrolled in sections of four marriage
education courses offered by the School of Family Life (preparation for
marriage; marriage enhancement; parenting and child guidance; family
finance).  During the academic year we will have close to 3,000 students
enrolled in these courses.
Bob Stahmann
Professor & Chair
Marriage & Family Therapy Graduate Programs
Brigham Young University

Dr Stahmann will present at the Smart Marriages Conference on the Relate
Inventory. I hope he'll also make himself available in the 'Teaching
Undergrads' workshop and share the BYU expertise. - diane

> 311 - Friday, June 24
> Premarital Inventories: A User¹s Guide
> Barbara Markey, PhD, David Olson, PhD, Bob Stahmann, PhD
> Three of the best -- FOCCUS, PREPARE and RELATE -- are described, with
> guidelines for use in premarital education and marriage enrichment.

> 512 - Saturday, June 25
> Teaching Marriage to Undergrads
> Arthur Nielson, MD, Marline Pearson, MA, Linda Malone-Colon, PhD
> Explore ideas about how to make marriage courses more interesting and
> meaningful in the lives -- and future marriages -- of students.

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- IMAGO INSTITUTE: 

> Dear Carolyn, 
> Diane Sollee emailed me regarding your question about whether childhood
> wounding was included in the Imago Curriculum for Churches. Yes. We did, but
> in response to feedback, we have omitted the word "wound," replacing it with
> terms such as "vulnerability" and "sensitivity. Since it is an educational
> course, what we left out is emotionally accessing childhood memories by
> omitting all regressive and exploratory processes. The program guides
> participants in cognitive processes that helps them discover their "Imago,"
> the vulnerability or fears left over from childhood and their reaction
> (defense) in response to them, as a basis for stirring mutual compassion. The
> rest of the course focuses on helping couples learn skills to create and
> maintain connection.
> Harville Hendrix 
>  

There is still room left in this 2-day post-conference training institute
which will be taught by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt.  It's not
often we get to spend two full days studying with the founders/masters
themselves.  Take this training and you'll be a certified instructor in this
new IMAGO program ready to teach in the churches in your community.

> 910 Two Days - Monday & Tuesday, June 27 & 28, Dallas
> A New Way to Love: IMAGO Curriculum for Churches
> Harville Hendrix, PhD and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD
> Learn IMAGO principles that help couples create conscious, egalitarian
> marriages - the marriages of the future - through first-hand experience of the
> processes that help build and maintain connection and deep intimacy. $100
> spouse discount.  This institute provides knowledge and skills that can be
> used in your church, in your community or practice, or to enrich your own
> relationship. Participants will receive a leader guide, couple workbook and
> materials describing the IMAGO approach that can be used for presentation as a
> seminar to couples, individuals and groups.  The materials can be taught by
> therapists, counselors, clergy, or lay educators in churches.  They are
> effective for singles as well as married and committed couples and are
> applicable to all cultures and classes. Couples and individuals can also use
> them as a self-study program.
> 
For more information click: http://www.smartmarriages.com/hendrix.html

Register on-line at: http://www.smartmarriages.com/conferencedetails.html

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9th Annual Smart Marriages Conference, Adam's Mark Dallas June 23 - 26, 2005
Pre and Post Conference Training Institutes June 21 - 29, 2005/75 hrs CEU
To DOWNLOAD a conference brochure:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/registration.info.html
For a complete list of training institutes, visit:
http://www.smartmarriages.com/institutes.html
Subscribe to the FREE e-newslist at http://www.smartmarriages.com

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Order conference audio & video tapes/CD/DVDs: 800-241-7785 or at
http://www.playbacknow.com/cmfce

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW
Washington, DC 20015-1961
http://www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332 FAX 202-362-0973
cmfce at smartmarriages.com