Comedy Central/Marriage Week/Marriage Proxies/Jim/List problems-

[Smart Marriages ®]

9/04
Message-ID: <BD6B8024.6C26%cmfce at smartmarriages.com>

subject: Comedy Central/Marriage Week/Marriage Proxies/List problems- 9/04


- MCMANUS ON JON STEWART TONIGHT - SEPT 13
- MARRIAGE WEEK USA 2005
- MARRIAGE BY PROXY IN CALIFORNIA
- THOSE CALIFORNIA JOBS
- WE'VE COME A LONG WAY, BABY
- TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

######################
- MCMANUS ON JON STEWART TONIGHT - SEPT 13 - SET YOUR VCRs
Mike and Harriet McManus taped the Jon Stewart Show for the Comedy Central
Network a few weeks back. Topic was Divorce websites. Harriet says it will
be horrible, they'll be ridiculed. Mike says he has his fingers crossed in
hopes that at least some good points will be made. They are brave and this
proves they'll go anywhere and do anything for their mission. It airs
tonight at 11pm. It will run again tomorrow at 7pm in most markets. - diane
##############################
- MARRIAGE WEEK USA 2005
Diane
What are the dates for National marriage week in 2005?
Jim Hunter

They are Feb 7 - 14, 2005. Those are the official dates, Feb 7th - 14th to
include Valentine's Day. However, there is nothing wrong with a community
changing them, say to 11 - 18 in order to start on a weekend and still
include Valentine's Day. Let us know what you decide and we'll notify the
list. - diane
#####################
- MARRIAGE BY PROXY IN CALIFORNIA

Marriage by proxy bill signed
By Kate Folmar
TIMES SACRAMENTO BUREAU
SEPT 11, 2004

SACRAMENTO - Even though he's been stationed in Ramadi, Iraq, Marine 2nd Lt.
Thomas Cogan IV soon will be able to marry his fiancee in California, thanks
to a bill signed late Friday by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

The bill, SB 7, allows so-called marriage by proxy in California for
servicemen and servicewomen stationed in wars or conflicts abroad. That
means members of the armed forces can give their power of attorney for
someone to stand in for them during a wedding performed here.

########################
- THOSE CALIFORNIA JOBS
Hello Diane,
Thank you for posting the information about the "Dream Jobs" here in Orange
County. One clarification: while bilingual (English/Spanish) skills are
preferred for the 1st full-time position (RE Project Manager), they are not
required for the 2nd one (Capacity Building / Troubled Marriage Programs
Project Coordinator). Hope this increases the number of CMFCE coalition
members who apply!
Dennis Stoica
#######################
- WE'VE COME A LONG WAY, BABY

Of course "According to Jim" trivialized Marriage Education(ME). Context is
key, that's what the show does, that's his style, take it as a compliment.

I agree, you've crossed the first hurdle of being noticed -- and maybe a
second hurdle because many only make fun of things they like. Or, as Nathan
Lane does in the "Producers" things formerly despised. I think publicity is
good. I think it's great that people know the phrase "marriage education."

To put things in perspective, just before I drove down to the 2002 CMFCE
conference I shared information on the conference materials with the
director of resource development in the child protection agency office I was
working at. Her reaction was that there probably was no such thing. I can
almost quote her verbatim: "Oh, you must be confusing that with parenting
education. There's no such thing as marriage education, and, besides, these
families need parent training, not marriage education. Then, just to put me
in my place even more, a technical assistance consultant in a tailored suit
shows up to visit her. To "prove" to me that there's no such thing as
marriage education she ask her, who also is woefully unaware, and turns back
to me and says, there you have it, neither of us have heard of it and
resource development is our business, so it just doesn't exist." I named
the web site, told them I was going to the CMFCE conference, and they just
waved it off as something else and I just didn't get it.

I do think it is a sign of progress that ME is fodder for jokes. Also, the
ME people should not be so sensitive. Heck, lots of TV programs have all
kinds of fun with psychotherapy, counseling, and shrinks in their episode.

We best not take ourselves too, too seriously. - js

P.S. The obvious thing I forgot to mention is that on the show, Jim and his
wife have a loving, teasing relationship in which they do not try to overly
control their own behavior -- rather than an avoid-stepping-on-egg-shells
relationship where both are constantly in fear of offending the other by
saying what they really think. Their relationship is charming: they play
jokes on each other, they are vulnerable with each other, they love each
other to pieces, they constantly tell their pals how significant their
partner is -- we should all be so lucky. Theirs is a role model for the
kind of marriage I would like to have.

Think about what John Gottman claims that if he watches a couple interacting
for 15 minutes he can tell if they are in danger of divorce. Watch Jim and
his wife (sorry I forget her TV name) and they are frequently touching,
making faces at each other, accidentally bumping into each other, throwing
towels, and scheming of ways to "annoy" the other and then kiss and say it
was all in fun. I want more of that! :) - js

###################

> - TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

This might help some of you. Or, if you're like me it's like reading Greek.
For my part, it sounds like what I can do is to try NOT to send messages
that contain ">" marks. Sometimes I can't avoid it, but will try. - diane
>
>>> Dear Diane,
>>> Why do my articles arrive with hundreds of > and so poorly
>>> formatted? Pete
>>
>> I apologize that I can't remember the solution but several years back
>> there was a discussion of this on the list with suggestions from
>> various techie types for how to fix it. There is some adjustment you
>> can do at your end - something with your email program settings. You
>> could search the archive but not even sure what search words you'd
>> use to search. I'll put this on the list and see if anyone can help.
>> - diane

Diane,
Are you referring to the discussion in April 1999 regarding text wrapping,
particularly with Rich Nauman?

http://listarchives.his.com/smartmarriages/smartmarriages.9904/msg00017.html
(last item)

http://listarchives.his.com/smartmarriages/smartmarriages.9904/msg00018.html
(first item)

The thing is, text wrapping is something the end user can control. The use
of ">" to indicate quoted text is not. Once the message leaves your computer
with ">" marks indicated forwarded message text, most of the subscribers
aren't going to be able to get rid of the >.

I say most, because there are ways to reformat text once it has been
received, but most subscribers on this list aren't going to know how to do
it, and probably aren't going to want to bother copying text to a different
program to clean it up.

For those using Outlook Express, there is a program called "OE Quick Tools
4" which adds some menu options, one of which includes a message cleaner.

http://www.ajsystems.com/qt4.html

There are also freeware programs which will "clean up" text which is copied
and pasted into the program. This does, however, involved cutting and
pasting, and running two programs.

Ecleaner - http://ecleaner.tripod.com/
(Still available, but not supported)

Cleaner - http://www.somewhere-in-time.net/tutorial/Forwarding/

Message Cleaner - http://www.roundhillsoftware.com/MessageCleaner/
(not actually "free". It's $7.50 to register)

Text Cleaner -
http://www.sandersdata.com/MailCleaner/TextCleaner.htm

And I've found the following "plug-in" for those of us using Microsoft
Outlook 2000 or 2002. It works pretty well.

Mail Cleaner -
http://www.sandersdata.com/MailCleaner/MailCleaner.htm

Unfortunately, the only way to get rid of all the > marks completely is for
anyone who forwards information to you to change the settings in their
e-mail programs, and for you to make sure that Outlook Express is set not to
use > to mark forwarded text.

Derek Gwinn


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