Banquet/Jerks/Hawaii/Wyoming/10 Great Dates-5/04

Mon May 24 20:34:33 EDT 2004

subject: Banquet/Jerks/Hawaii/Wyoming/10 Great Dates-5/04

from: Smart Marriages®

Oh dear! 

I just got a call from someone asking me if Marriage Savers would be
scheduling a banquet this year, as they've done in past years.  I said,
"Yes, I sent that announcement out almost two weeks ago."  He said, "I
didn't see it and I searched the archive."  We then together searched the
archive and discovered that this post to the list didn't reach you! It
bounced back for some reason.  Too late now for the early bird cut-off
notice.  Too late now for the free "No Jerks" seminar in Virginia.

BUT, here is the info about the Marriage Savers Banquet plus some
interesting reading about Wyoming, Hawaii, and 10 Great Dates.

My apologies.  - diane

################

- REGISTRATION DEADLINE: THURSDAY MAY 13 IS THE EARLY-BIRD CUT-OFF
- MARRIAGE SAVERS BANQUET WED, July 7, DALLAS
- NO JERKS SEMINAR - FREE: MAY 15, 9-1, REGENT UNIVERSITY, VIRGINIA
- HAWAII 
- WYOMING MARRIAGE 
- 10 GREAT DATES PROGRAM

######################
- REGISTRATION DEADLINE: THURSDAY MAY 13 IS THE EARLY-BIRD CUT-OFF

Save $50 by getting your registration in by midnight on Thursday.
Fax to 651-489-3387 or register on-line at
http://www.gotomylist.com/cme/smc04/smc03rf.cfm

Download a complete brochure at http://www.smartmarriages.com/brochure04.pdf

#######################
- MARRIAGE SAVERS BANQUET WED, July 7, DALLAS

The Marriage Savers Banquet hosted by Mike and Harriett McManus Wed, July 7,
7-10pm, Adams Mark Hotel.

This banquet is open to all Smart Marriages conference attendees.  Even if
you are not attending the 2-day Marriage Savers training institute, this is
a great way to begin networking with conference attendees, and a great way
to get an intro to what Marriage Savers and Community Marriage Policies are
all about.

Featured Speaker: Richard Albertson "Father & Son: A Roadmap to Manhood"

The cultural plagues of divorce and out of wedlock childbearing are a far
greater threat to our civilization than any terrorist attack, economic
downturn, or war in Iraq.   Richard Albertson, Chairman of the Florida
Commission on Marriage, and Founding President of Live the Life Ministries,
will make the case that at the core of these twin plagues are men who have
never been given a roadmap to worthy manhood.  Without this roadmap, most
men lose their way.  One result:   Over 1 million children and 2 million
adults are moved into the "divorced" column each year, and 69% of African
American children are born out of wedlock.  In an effort to tackle these
issues head on, one man at a time, Albertson will offer the roadmap he uses
when mentoring teenage boys, young men, and his own son, Chip.

$36/person
Reserve now by calling Marriage Savers at 301-469-5873 or email:
peggy.mader at verizon.net

############################

NO JERKS SEMINAR - FREE: MAY 15, 9-1, REGENT UNIVERSITY, VIRGINIA

FREE John Van Epp "How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk" seminar at Regent
University as part of an effort to create healthy marriages in Hampton
Roads. To register, 226-4366 or at home.regent.edu/jennrip

Or, see John Van Epp at he Dallas conference where he'll present a keynote,
a seminar for the public and an institute training.  Leave ready to teach
"HOW TO AVOID MARRYING A JERK" seminars to singles in your congregation,
community, military base, school....

> 910 One Day - Monday, July 12, Dallas
> How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk
> John Van Epp, PhD
> Great marriages begin long before the wedding! Learn to teach the 5-hour video
> series, "How To Avoid Marrying A Jerk."  This training provides techniques and
> tools for leading groups in churches, schools, singles & youth groups.  Also
> learn to talk effectively with your own teens about the five keys to
> successful mate selection. This Instructor Certification Packet and training
> qualifies you as a  "How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk" instructor. $50 spouse
> discount. http://www.smartmarriages.com/jerk.html
> 

##################
- HAWAII 

> Dear Diane,  
> I just sent in our registrations and can hardly wait for July.  I have many
> questions and expect most of them will be answered at the conference but want
> to ask you just a few in advance.  First, we're from Hawaii and would like
> ideas about what I should do to make sure I meet anyone else who attends from
> our state.  Second question is if you know if anyone is organizing a
> marriage resource centers for Hawaii?
> AG 

I just checked and only 20 people from Hawaii have ever attended the Smart
Marriages conference. (We've had that many from Australia! Hmmmmm....maybe
there's family breakdown problem in Hawaii?)  I don't have reports yet for
Dallas, so no idea how many may have signed up thus far, but here's how to
find any that do show up: Come to the Smart Marriages registration desk and
check the list of "Registrants by State".   You can also look up which
sessions they're attending and track them down that way.  Or, call and leave
messages in their hotel room and invite them to join you for lunch, dinner,
breakfast, etc.  And, you can host a "Hawaii" luncheon table.  See the
registration desk for sign materials.

I don't know of anyone that is organizing a Marriage Resource Center in
Hawaii.  I'll share your question w/ the list and maybe someone will emerge.
But, my guess is that you should start one yourself.  If you do, I can help
by getting you contact info on the Hawaians in my database.

See http://www.smartmarriages.com/grants.html for complete instructions and
sample marriage resource web sites to get you started.  When you've got it
going, send me the url and I'll post it.

- diane 

############################
- WYOMING MARRIAGE 
> Diane:
> 
> I want to thank you again for continuing to encourage not only large cities
> and states with millions but even us rural folks (still only 6 people per
> square mile up here), to build marriage coalitions and reach people with the
> message about the need for relationship skills training. After years of
> drought, with nothing growing, I now have the beginnings of a healthy marriage
> coalition in Western Montana, and thanks to all the connections I¹ve made at
> Smart Marriages, we have the technical support (like how to build a coalition
> from scratch) to help us get going.  ACF is actually sending Susan Blumberg up
> to the really frozen north for a meeting on May 24!  Miracles do happen.
> Jana Staton 
> Missoula, MT jstaton at montana.com

Jana, 
Your hard work is paying off! By the way, have you created a web-based
marriage resource center for Montana?  If so, send me the url and I'll get
it posted on the directory on the web site.  If not, see see the email
above.  People usually get their site up and running in a few weeks - that
is, if you use the template and follow the directions available on the web
site.  And, it's dirt cheap.  And, it's a great catalyst - really will move
your initiative along. You should probably do one for the whole state
www.wyomingrc.com  We want to blanket the country - a marriage resource
website in every nook and cranny. - diane

###########################
- 10 GREAT DATES PROGRAM

The questions/answers below are from the Catholic Marriage newslist on the
Arp's "10 Great Dates" program.  The Arps will present several times in
Dallas and will also demonstrate their "teach right out of the box" programs
at their exhibit.  Their latest book "10 Great Dates for Empty Nesters" will
be out this summer.  - diane

> I am hoping that someone has (or knows someone who has) actually implemented
> David and Claudia Arp's Ten Great Dates Video curriculum. I would like to hear
> about your experience, whether or not you would recommend it for marriage
> enrichment, and any wisdom you may have to share from your experience.
> Linda Sweeney
> Archdiocese of Atlanta

Hi Linda,
We're finishing our fifth year of having a community-wide "Ten Great Dates"
program.  We've had up to eight churches at a time offer the program and we
(Sioux Empire Marriage Savers) have helped by organizing the media
(mailings, radio and newspaper), ordering and delivering the Ten Great Dates
books to the participating churches, offering trainings for churches
considering this opportunity, and providing the tape sets for free to the
churches.  Some churches have provided free childcare and some have not.
Over 800 couples have attended "Ten Great Dates" in our community and it has
branched out to other communities in our area.  The evaluations have come
back very positive.  We had half of a couple ship out to Iraq and resume Ten
Great Dates upon their return the next year.  It's been offered starting
every January and the dates are scheduled twice a month.
Mary Mastick
Sioux Falls, SD
605-359-3590

Linda, 
We have used 10 Great Dates at our church several times.  We do find better
participation if babysitting is available at no charge to couples.  We also
do it once a month rather than weekly.
Charlsie Pafford
Marriage Formation/Enrichment Team
Our Lady of Nazareth, Roanoke, VA

Lina, 
When my wife and I first discovered The Ten Great Dates Program we were sure
it was the best thing since sliced bread!  Being turned on to it from the
Arps themselves in person greatly helped.  They are a gifted couple!  We
brought several copies of the book home from Smart Marriages Conference.
At the time I was Diocesan Director of Family Life Ministry.  However, I had
a difficult time convincing parishes to try it.

Based on their reactions and comments we made a changes in the format.  The
most significant change was that we made each night totally independent of
the other nights.  It was not "10 Great Dates" but "Great Dates."  In the
first year we only scheduled 4 programs.  In the second year we increased
the number to 6 and added two other sites.  In the third year, we were up to
a Great Date in every month in the originating parish and had added Great
Date evenings in 5 other sites.  Attendance grew mostly by word of mouth,
although we also got press coverage.

Second change was content.  We changed it from a Marriage Enrichment program
to a Marriage Education Program.  My wife and I created an original program
each time based on current research in the field of marriage education
(mostly from material we were picking up at Smart Marriages and a lot of
resulting reading).  As we became certified to teach the various methods we
were able to teach skills from PAIRS, Prep, Gottman etc.  People reacted
very positively to the high quality of this material.

Third change was that all presentations were live and by a couple.  No video
presentations.  The couple's purpose was both to give specific input, but
also to inspire the attending couples to go out that evening and practice
the exercise immediately.  Every presenting couple had to be willing to
share personal examples, and present as a couple.  Presenting couples only
had 20 minutes maximum to present.

Great Dates were always on Friday evenings.  Great Dates always included a
beginning brief social, child care was always offered, we always sponsored a
resource table and all couples were offered a "worksheet" to take out on
their date with them.  These evenings were offered at no cost to the
participants, because we urged them to spend the money on the "date".
(often times, we had to shoo some couples out the door because they would
get in conversations with each other!)

Attendance went as high as 60 couples, but our average attendance
was about 25 - 35 couples at each great date.  There
was a repetition rate of about 78% for attending multiple Great Dates.  Age
spread was wide through the spectrum of newly married to our oldest couple
of 52 years married!

Great Dates was without a doubt the most successful marriage education
program I have ever had the pleasure of participating in.

Tom Rinkoski 
Director of Religious Education
St. Augustine Church and Student Center

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