Glamour/Nerve/Marriage Songs/Abstinence Ed/MMW-5/04

Smart Marriages ® cmfce at smartmarriages.com
Tue May 18 18:34:26 EDT 2004


subject: Glamour/Nerve/Marriage Songs/Abstinence Ed/MMW-5/04

from: Smart Marriages®

- BROCHURES
- GLAMOUR GRABS AN OAR
- SONGS TO STRENGTHEN TROUBLED MARRIAGES
- FREE ABSTINENCE EDUCATION SEMINARS
- NERVE.COM ON THE FUTURE OF MARRIAGE
- HEADING OFF DIVORCE

#################
- BROCHURES

> Diane, 
> If there are still conference brochures available, we could use about 400.
> Dibble Fund 

Yes, there are still conference brochures available - I just shipped them to
you.  If any of you could use extras to distribute to colleagues, just let
me know how many and where to send them. We can't change the world unless we
reach it.  Please don't got to conferences or seminars without taking a
stack of brochures with you! - diane

################
- GLAMOUR GRABS AN OAR

Here's a great opportunity to spread the word that marriages on the brink of
divorce can indeed be saved and be all the stronger and more loving than
they were before they hit trouble. Glamour reaches 3 million + readers. A
great chance to have couples testify about your program - Retrouvaille,
PAIRS, Divorce Busting, Third Option, Controlled Separation, etc. If you're
a couple, please share your good news.  If you have a program, PLEASE don't
contact the reporter until you are sure you've got a couple lined up that is
willing to be interviewed.  - diane

> Hi Diane, 
> I'm working on a feature story for Glamour magazine called "How to Come Back
> from the Brink" about couples who were discussing divorce, but were able,
> somehow, to turn the relationship around and choose to work on the marriage
> instead. I need to feature real couples, aged 20 - 40, with names and
> photographs, willing to talk about their journey. The couples can be people
> who have been back from the brink for 3 weeks or 3 years - or longer. This is
> an uplifting story showing marriage CAN be saved -- and with 3 million Glamour
> readers seeing real men and women talk about how they overcame what felt like
> insurmountable obstacles in their relationships, we hope they'll be inspired
> to do the same.
> 
> My deadline is Friday, May 21, but I can extend the search into next week if
> necessary.
> 
> Couples can contact me at:
> Amy Spencer
> Writer/Editor
> Office: 212.254.1463
> Cell:    917.324.7003
> aspencer4 at nyc.rr.com

#######################
- SONGS TO STRENGTHEN TROUBLED MARRIAGES

FIFTY YEARS FROM NOW: Songs to Strengthen Troubled Marriages
Music for the Soul 88058710032  $12 (includes shipping)
This CD helps couples reclaim, recommit to, and strengthen their
marriage. It includes the songs Fifty Years From Now, I Don¹t Know You
Anymore, Love as I Have Been Loved, Before God and What God Has Joined
Together plus interviews with couples sharing 207 years of combined marriage
wisdom, The Top Ten Reasons You Should Stay Married by Linda Waite, and a
marriage affirmation based on 1 Corinthians 13. Eight-page booklet included.
To order: www.musicforthesoul.org.

I'm sure just listening to this CD would save a lot of marriages.  Great as
an added tool for any marriage education program or to use in any
faith-based setting.  If you lose this email, you can find the CD listed on
the Directory or on the Books/Resources page on the smartmarriages.com web
site.  It will also be available for sale at the Dallas Smart Marriages
conference.  - diane

########################
- FREE ABSTINENCE EDUCATION SEMINARS

The upcoming one-day seminars by the Institute for Youth Development are
designed for "Maximizing Effectiveness for Abstinence Educators"  Dates:
Nashville, TN, June 25, Charleston, SC July 14, Kansas City, MO Sept 8

For info and to register:
http://www.youthdevelopment.org/articles/pr041604.htm

#######################
- NERVE.COM ON THE FUTURE OF MARRIAGE

Over the next few weeks, Nerve.com, the online magazine of sex and culture,
will present its "Future of Marriage" issue, a look into the current state
of marriage and its possibilities for the future. They'll open with a
roundtable on the topic featuring ten authors with diverse opinions.  The
panel will include Maggie Gallagher (The Case for Marriage), Scott Haltzman
(SecretsofMarriedMen.com), Susan Shapiro Barash (A Passion for More), Joe
Beam (Becoming ONE: Emotionally, Spiritually, & Sexually), Darcy Cosper
(Wedding Season), Molly Jong-Fast (Normal Girl), David Moats (Civil Wars:
Gay Marriage in America), documentary filmmaker Jim de Sève, Ethan Watters
(Urban Tribes), and novelist Jonathan Ames. Over the course of 5 days, these
writers will respond to a series of questions on the future of marriage -
and weigh in on their fellow panelists’ responses.  The Voicebox launches
this week at http://www.nerve.com/

####################
- HEADING OFF DIVORCE

News-Sentinel, Fort Wayne  
May 18, 2004
 
Heading off divorce

When breaking up is easier, planning ahead can help couples stay together.
By Bob Caylor
for the editorial board

Earlier this month, through National Public Radio's "Speaking of Faith," we
learned of a remarkable marriage-preparation program in Los Angeles that
seems to deliver on its promise of helping build strong marriages.

"Making Marriage Work" is a seminar the University of Judaism in Los Angeles
began offering in 1975. In 2000, it surveyed couples which had participated
in the program and found that only 8 percent had divorced.

That's an astonishing rate of marriage preservation, given that marriages
since the 1970s fail much more often than those of a generation earlier.
(For example, a 1996 Census study found that 81 percent of women who first
married between 1945 and 1949 were still married on their 20th
anniversaries, compared to only 56 percent who first married from 1970 to
1974.) 

The basic "Making Marriage Work" seminar brings together couples who are
considering marriage, engaged or recently married for 10 two-hour sessions.
Six are led by counselors, two are led by rabbis, one by a financial
counselor, and one is a private session with a counselor.

The sessions compel couples to confront the traditional land mines that
ignite marital discord, such as in-laws, friends of one spouse but not the
other, money, family planning and childrearing. And, as the program notes,
the sessions are grounded in traditional Jewish values and beliefs.

That religious grounding no doubt helps explain the longevity of the
marriages of couples who emerge from such extensive counseling. The most
familiar and extensive premarital counseling in this area also is conducted
by churches. 

But while agreeing on religion may remove one major point of potential
marital disputes, doctrinal congruity alone doesn't guarantee a marriage
that prevails against the daily upsets ordinary life presents, not to
mention extraordinary challenges couples sometimes face. Christian pollster
George Barna, in a 1999 survey, found that 24 percent of the adults he
surveyed had been divorced. He found divorce rates of 30 percent among Jews,
29 percent among Baptists and 21 percent among both Catholics and Lutherans
(and 21 percent among agnostics and atheists).

Rabbi Elliott Dorff, who described the "Making Marriage Work" on "Speaking
of Faith," noted as much when he contrasted the Hollywood conception of
love, incapacitating its victims like a lightning strike, with the more
traditional -- and realistic -- expectations of marriage three and four
generations ago. In those days, he said, people more often got "married
primarily because you like each other enough to do the work of family
together." 

In the last 40 or 50 years, most states have liberalized divorce laws so
much that government really is no longer in the business of discouraging
divorce through law. Yet at the same time laws have loosened up, a growing
weight of sociological research has shown that divorce generally causes
financial and emotional harm to those involved, particularly children.

So now divorce is easy, and it carries much less stigma than it did 50 years
ago, but we have a clearer view of the benefits of marriage. The message for
prospective couples is that usually, keeping marriages intact takes more
than romance. Premarital counseling can boost those odds (and, as Rabbi
Dorff noted, it can persuade some couples that they're better off not
marrying). Family members and friends can exert some social pressure to
remain married, as can church families.

Simply put, staying married can be a struggle, but for most couples, it's
worth it. 

This course, Making Marriages Work, has been presented at past Smart
Marriages conferences by Sylvia Weishaus, a co-developer of the course. Here
is her listing on the Smart Marriages directory with contact info.  Or,
another great way to preview the course is to listen to audiotapes of her
workshops "Making Marriages Work" at Smart Marriages.  Order the 90-minute
tapes at 800-241-7785 for $15 - tapes 757-109, 758-209 or 759-311.

> Sylvia Weishaus, PhD
> "MAKING MARRIAGE WORK, PAIRS, PREPARE/ENRICH, PREP"
> Marital preparation and relationship building for all ages and stages.
> 13351 Magnolia Blvd.
> Sherman Oaks, California 91423
> 818-784-0403 
> Fax: 818-784-1285
> Email: dr4cpls at aol.com


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Pre and Post Conference Training Institutes July 6 - 14, 2004
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Diane Sollee, Director
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cmfce at smartmarriages.com





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