African American Marriage: Atlanta & Chicago/Welfare Reform/QB-3/04

[Smart Marriages ®]

subject: African American Marriage: Atlanta & Chicago/Welfare Reform/QB-3/04

from: Smart Marriages®

- AFRICAN AMERICAN RELATIONSHIP INSTITUTE CONFERENCE
- WHY MARRIAGE MATTERS: AFRICAN AMERICAN HEALTHY MARRIAGE FORUM
- WELFARE REFORM FALLS SHORT
- FORMER SEATTLE QB HEADS FAMILIES NORTHWEST

################################
- AFRICAN AMERICAN RELATIONSHIP INSTITUTE CONFERENCE:

The National African American Relationships Institute (NAARI) is hosting its
first National Conference, in Atlanta, April 16-17.   The conference is
directed by Professors Pat Dixon and Khalil Osiris and will explore
solutions and teach skills for strengthening African American marriages and
families. There are a range of registration fees from $175 for professionals
to $20 for students and low income individuals. To register, go to:
http://aarelationshipsinstitute.com/ConfRegInfo.htm

Dixon and Osiris will also present their TLC program in a special invited
workshop at the Dallas Smart Marriages conference:

> 201 - Friday, July 9, 2004, Dallas
> TLC for African American Couples
> Pat Dixon, PhD, MBA, Khalil Osiris, MA
> TLC­Talking & Listening with Care - is a culturally specific 3-step program to
> help couples resolve conflict and communicate effectively. Faith, community &
> academic settings.

###############################
- WHY MARRIAGE MATTERS: AFRICAN AMERICAN HEALTHY MARRIAGE FORUM

FREE African-American Healthy Marriage Initiative Forum
Why Marriage Matters: The Role of Faith and Community Organizations

Fri, May 14, 5:30 PM - Sat, May 15th, 5:00PM
University of Illinois, Chicago, Illinois

The forum will include educational/informational workshops, theater, music,
networking and opportunities for discussion about issues facing
African-American families. It will include research, best practices, and
funding opportunities and how to effectively incorporate marriage education
into the services that faith-based, and civic community organizations
provide to the African-American population.

HOW TO REGISTER
Registration is FREE but slots are limited and registration is required.
Register on-line by visiting  www.aahmi.org as soon as possible, but no
later than May 11. For information: (301) 588-9781, x10 or
glwalker at marlawsystems.com.

############################
- WELFARE REFORM FALLS SHORT
<http://www.heritage.org/Research/Family/bg1741.cfm>

Results have fallen short of one goal of 1996's otherwise-successful reform
of the welfare system: to encourage marriage and reduce out-of-wedlock
childbearing. This should come as little surprise; only .02 percent of
welfare spending since 1996 has been to promote marriage. The President's
"Healthy Marriage Initiative," part of the welfare bill that is now in the
Senate, would address this shortcoming, writes Heritage's Robert Rector and
Melissa Pardue. Why marriage? Because it "is a natural protective
institution that promotes the well-being of men, women, and children." The
President's Initiative holds the promise of "substantially reducing future
rates of welfare dependence, child poverty, domestic violence, and other
social ills." "The Senate would be wise," Rector and Pardue counsel, "to
affirm their support for marriage by passing welfare reform reauthorization
and enacting the President's healthy marriage initiative."   Read
<http://www.heritage.org/Research/Family/bg1741.cfm> Understanding the
President's Healthy Marriage Initiative by Robert E. Rector and Melissa G.
Pardue

############################
- FORMER SEATTLE QB HEADS FAMILIES NORTHWEST

Families Northwest will present at the Smart Marriages Dallas Conference.
> 
> Former quarterback Jeff Kemp leads drive to strengthen traditional marriage
> By Tyrone Beason 
> Seattle Times
> March 15, 2004 
> 
> Former Seahawk Jeff Kemp looks and acts like the model spokesman for
> marriage, even though he insists he can always do better with his own.
> He's tall, trim, dark-haired, handsome and conservative. A quarterback in
> his NFL days, he's graceful enough to shake hands without crushing your palm
> but assertive enough to make even small talk feel like a fourth-down huddle.
> 
> A Christian and the son of one-time Republican vice-presidential contender
> Jack Kemp, he speaks with a raspy certainty that suggests his ideas come not
> just from the religious or political playbook but from soulful reflection.
 
> So when Kemp says God "gifted" his wife Stacy to him when they got married
> 21 years ago last Friday, there's the twinkle of a true believer in his
> eyes. And when he calmly says marriage by definition is a union between a
> man and a woman, not a twinge of doubt furrows his brow.

> For 11 years, Kemp has been fighting to save traditional marriages - his and
> yours. 

> The 44-year-old father of four from Redmond is executive director of
> Families Northwest, a nonprofit Bellevue organization leading a campaign to
> restore sanctity and permanence to marriage through partnerships with
> churches and other community groups.

> While the national debate about marriage centers on efforts by gays and
> lesbians to gain legal marriage rights - a change in the law that Kemp
> believes would be shortsighted - his group has been fighting the
> "nonmarriage" heterosexual culture of the past three decades.

> Kemp has been both a vocal opponent of gay marriage and stalwart promoter of
> heterosexual marriages. He said he's concerned the current debate unduly
> shifts attention from the needs of society to what's good for the minority
> of gays who want to tie the knot.

> Some defenders of traditional marriage are reluctant to speak out for fear
> of being labeled anti-gay, he said. Through Families Northwest, Kemp wants
> to nudge the discussion back to issues more important to his organization's
> efforts. 

> "We need to be strengthening it, not redefining it," Kemp said of marriage.

> Adultery, unhappy marriages, divorce, out-of-wedlock births and a "flippant"
> attitude toward marriage all jeopardize the stability and well-being of
> families, especially children, according to Kemp.
 
> "The idea and the commitment to permanence in family relationships has been
> lost, and we need to regain it," he said.

> With a $1 million annual budget fueled by private donations, foundation
> grants and corporate funding from the likes of Microsoft, Pemco Insurance
> and Nextel Communications, Families Northwest offers research on marriage as
> well as programs aimed at helping couples stay together for a lifetime, as
> many promise when they exchange wedding vows.

> Kemp's organization has its work cut out for it.

> More than 11,200 heterosexual couples got married in King County in 2002,
> the most recent year for which vital statistics are available in this state.
> That same year, about 6,200 couples got divorces or annulments. Statewide,
> the marriage rate is on the decline.

> Kemp describes Families Northwest's marriage campaign as a movement similar
> to efforts to save the environment.

> In this case, the front line is at the altar.

> With assistance from Families Northwest, 900 churches in Washington, 680 in
> Oregon and 42 in Nampa, Idaho, have established minimum standards for
> couples who want to get married in their houses of worship.

> Families Northwest has had less luck convincing secular organizations and
> justices of the peace to join the marriage movement, although Kemp has held
> meetings with judges and spoken at Rotary Club and United Way events.

> Advocates for victims of domestic violence have questioned his
> organization's focus on keeping couples together. Kemp insists, however,
> that his group would never encourage a spouse to stay in an abusive
> relationship.
 
> The requirements of some church-based marriage programs range from waiting
> periods lasting several months to counseling sessions where couples explore
> and address issues that could strain their relationships if unchecked. The
> first year of marriage is regarded as the period of highest risk for
> potential problems and divorces.

> Families Northwest encourages churches to form networks, so that if one
> church can't provide a particular service to couples, another in the
> community can.
 
> Seven churches in Puyallup, for example, have formed Life Connections, a
> program that offers counseling to pre-marital couples and mentors to
> newlyweds. 

> "People are actually excited about it and they anticipate coming through our
> marriage-prep classes," said Kathy Perry, a pastor at Puyallup Church of the
> Nazarene, where 25 couples took part in that church's free, four-month
> marriage-training program last year.

> "Most of the couples honestly have rose-colored glasses on," Perry said.
> "That's all part of being in love. The greatest gift we can give these
> couples is to honor that, but also bring some aspects of reality into it."
> Some couples have decided to delay their weddings or call them off after
> attending the monthly sessions, Perry said.

> Similar church networks have been established in Southwest Seattle,
> Southeast Tacoma, Spokane and Yakima.

> "We're trying to create a stronger community partnership, where churches
> work with each other to pool their resources and skills," Kemp said. "Our
> hope is to see the divorce rates drop and the (marriage) satisfaction rates
> rise." 

> About 1,500 couples have signed the "Our Marriage Matters to Us" pledge on
> the Families Northwest Web site, www.familiesnorthwest.org
> <http://www.familiesnorthwest.org>, since the campaign started in February.

> The organization's goal is to collect 135,000 signatures this year.
 
> Kemp's concern for families and marriage peaked when, as an NFL quarterback,
> he visited a youth sports camp in Harlem: He discovered that only a dozen of
> the 400 kids at the camp had fathers who lived at home.

> Growing up in Buffalo, N.Y., - and in Washington, D.C., while his father
> served in Congress - Kemp and his three siblings were always told, "You're a
> Kemp; be a leader."

> Kemp said he struggled after his football career ended more than a decade
> ago to figure out how best to heed that message.

> In Families Northwest, he has found a sense of purpose, a "higher calling"
> than a career in politics or some other arena, he said.
 
> Kemp said he respects anyone who can maintain healthy relationships and
> raise well-rounded children, whether they are single moms or gay parents.
> But calls to expand the legal definition of marriage place the future of the
> whole institution at stake, he said.

> "It shrinks, minimizes and creates a more nebulous, confusing identity for
> the institution," Kemp said. "It's harder for people on the whole to commit
> to something when it's less clear to society why it's so honorable."

> Benefits such as tax breaks and inheritance privileges can be granted to
> same-sex couples without expanding the legal definition of marriage, he
> argued. 

> Kemp said research shows children experience lower drug-abuse and teen-birth
> rates, as well as fewer suicides, academic problems and relationship
> troubles when they grow up in traditional households.

> "All of us have a stake in making life better for children, and the one
> clear and proven strategy for bringing about that change is to strengthen
> marriage, so that there's more kids with moms and dads in their lives," he
> said. 

> Actually, studies comparing families headed by gays and lesbians to those
> headed by a married man and woman have been inconclusive in a number of
> areas. While there have been differences in interpretation, psychologists
> generally believe there's little evidence children suffer major mental,
> social or sexual problems because their parents are a same-sex couple.
> As for his own marriage, Kemp rated it a "six or seven" out of 10, with
> plenty of lessons yet to absorb.

> He and his wife Stacy learn a lot about each other by mentoring younger
> heterosexual married couples through a program at Crossroads Bible Church in
> Bellevue, he said.

> Kemp sees in younger couples a renewed interest in the idea of creating
> families. 

> He wants Families Northwest to be there to help them look past the rosy
> vision of marriage and commit to the long haul.

> "The yearning for family is a positive sign," Kemp said. "But it has to move
> beyond a nostalgia and romance for it."
 
> http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2001877990_jeffkemp.html


**************************
To SUBSCRIBE or UNSUBSCRIBE, or Change your subscription address,
use the form on our website (http://www.smartmarriages.com). Click
Newsletter - right under the puzzle piece.

This newslist shares information on marriage, divorce and educational
approaches.  Opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by members of the
Coalition.

This is a moderated list. Replies are read by Diane Sollee, editor. Please
indicate if your response is NOT to be shared with the list.  PLEASE include
your email address in with your signature.

To read ALL past posts to the newsletter, visit the Archive at:
http://archives.his.com/smartmarriages/

8th Annual Smart Marriages Conference, Adam's Mark Dallas, TX July 8 - 11,
2004. Pre and Post Conference Training Institutes July 6 - 14, 2004
Subscribe to the free e-newslist at www.smartmarriages.com
List your program in the Directory of Classes at www.smartmarriages.com
Order conference audio and video tapes at 800-241-7785 or at playbacknow.com

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW,   Washington, DC 20015-1961
www.smartmarriages.com  202-362-3332
cmfce at smartmarriages.com

FAIR USE NOTICE: This e-newsletter contains copyrighted material the use of
which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We
make such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of
marriage, family, couples, divorce, legislation, family breakdown, etc. We
understand this constitutes a 'fair use' of such material as provided
for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17
U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit
to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included
information for research and educational purposes. For more information go
to: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml. If you wish to use
copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond
'fair use', you must obtain permission from the copyright owner.