CBS comes through!!/Controlled Separation/Divorce songs - 6/04

Smart Marriages ® cmfce at
Wed Jun 30 09:53:07 EDT 2004

subject: CBS comes through!!/Controlled Separation/Divorce songs - 6/04

from: Smart Marriages®



> Well, after setting my VCR three different times and NOT getting any Michael
> McManus, I managed to MISS it this morning because I didn't read the email
> in time.  Or did I?  Did it actually go on?  If so, is there any way to see
> it "ex post facto"?
> A day late and a dial short...
> Lawrence M. Compter, Executive Director
> Marriage Alliance of Central Virginia
> compter at <mailto:compter at>

Wow!!  Did it ever. I'm thrilled and it was worth waiting for.  Marriage
Savers made it on CBS this morning in a wonderful segment.  They did SUCH a
good job of shooting and did Mike and Harriet McManus.  I
wouldn't have changed a word.  We'll show it at the conference both at the
opening plenary and at the Marriage Savers booth.  Mike will also make them
available to those working to create or grow Community Marriage
Policy/Marriage Saver groups around the country.
For info on ordering, contact MichaelJMcManus at or 301-469-5870.
It's also amazing how media leads to more media - CBS saw the piece in the
Washington Post a few months back - we CAN get this info to the country if
we just keep on keeping on.
 - diane 
>> Trial divorce saves marriage
>> 2004-06-29 14:19:11
>>     BEIJING, June 29 (Xinhuanet) -- You might have heard of trial marriage,
>> but what about trial divorce? It's happening in east China's port city of
>> Tianjin. About 80 percent of the couples trying this are happily back
>> together again. 
>>   The municipal Women's Federation finds that about 80 percent of the couples
>> trying this are happily back together again after their marriages were on the
>> rocks, reported Monday.
>>     During their temporary separation, the husband and wife must not
>> intervene in each other's lives or contact each other.
>>     However, most couples could not keep up the mutual silence. After a
>> period of time they found they simply missed their partner too much.
>>     It seems that absence really does make the heart grow fonder!

I know that Elsie Radtke took the "Controlled Separation" Program to Hong
Kong this year after the Reno conference.  Maybe it's trickled up to
Beijing.  Although with Controlled Separation, it's not just 'absence making
the heart grow fonder' - it's a very proscribed process by which the couple
works through redesigning their communication and interaction patterns. They
recreate their marriage while apart.

> 911 One Day - Monday July 12 - $125
> Divorce Prevention: Controlled Separation (CS)
> Lee Raffel, MSW, Elsie Radtke, MEd, Ruth Donahue, MSW
> Learn a clearly defined program that helps couples move beyond crisis and
> stalemate and repair their relationships using a time-limited period of
> controlled separation, a customized contract,12 guidelines and the concept of
> "active waiting".
> $50 spouse discount. For more information:
> This one-day training will certify participants to present Controlled
> Separation workshops to couples and professionals and/or use the material in
> their clinical work with couples.
> Participants will receive:
> A copy of the book "Should I Stay or Go" by Lee Raffel and a Professionals
> Workbook which will include support materials to teach the course including
> couples contracts and guidelines.

And, yes, there is still space in the institute.  To add the institute to
your registration, call 800-314-1921.  It's such a valuable tool for couples
on the brink of divorce, even worth changing your airfare at this point to
get this program to teach in your church or practice.  - diane

> Simon's marriage isn't simple
> By Carol Beggy & Mark Shanahan Boston Globe Columnist| June 30, 2004
> SIMON SAYS Martha's Vineyard's most melodious inhabitant, singer-songwriter
> Carly Simon, talks about her "atypical marriage" in the new issue of Reader's
> Digest. Married to poet Jim Hart since 1987, Simon tells the mag she and Hart
> are still hitched, but they haven't lived together for more than a year and
> rarely see each other. "Maybe we'll actually find some way of living under the
> same roof together in a different environment," she says. And maybe not. Of
> her ex, James Taylor, whom she divorced in '83, Simon says their relationship
> is "nonexistent." "I talked to him going down the aisle, bringing [daughter]
> Sally to the altar [last year]. . . . It's not the way I want it."

Hmmmmm.....another form of 'trial separation' but without a plan for
"working my way back to you, babe".  If they'd just work with the Controlled
Separation model, maybe they'd make some progress.....we need more
Controlled Separation Guides/Coaches. - diane


Brandy channels pain of divorce into best album yet
June 30, 2004 

References to hurt, pain and mistakes pepper almost every song on Brandy's
''Afrodisiac,'' created in the aftermath of the singer's divorce. And, other
than the ''tabloid expose -- with music!'' feel of first song ''Who I Am,''
Brandy has created a compelling narrative from her emotional turmoil.

. . . . The results occasionally feel shopworn, but creations like ''I
Tried'' are fresh and new, combining the thudding of Iron Maiden with
forlorn Brandy's attempts to overlook her man's philandering. The title
track is a sexy carnival ride, while ''Should I Go'' borrows from Coldplay's
''Clocks,'' as the singer ponders ''should I go?/should I stay?'' in her
relationship and decides ''I'm in control either way."

Brandy spends most of what is undoubtedly her best album celebrating
newfound independence. The singer truly breaks free on first single ''Talk
About Our Love," a partnering with rapper/producer Kanye West. With its
blossoming chorus, this song wins the prize for most likely to blare from
car stereos all summer long.
So, it's a song about how painful it is to make the decision to leave but
'blares the compelling celebration of newfound independence' all across the
country. auugh. I wonder HOW MANY divorces this one CD will cause.  I've
long been saying that we need to break into this medium with OUR message.
Anyone out there that can write the melodies?  I think that's what we have
to do next year - add a workshop on songwriting. Today the classroom,
tomorrow the radio!   - diane
> British Vogue - UK
> FRENCH CONNECTION chairman Stephen Marks yesterday sold nine million shares
> in the company he founded more than 30 years ago to finance his impending
> divorce. ...

Surely we could find someone like this (one side or the other of these
high-flying divorces) to help fund our musical project.  We need a rap CD
asap about how to have a smart, sexy, satisfying marriage - Masters of
Marriage!   - diane

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