Classes/Poor/Chile/Wyoming/Seuths/New cause of Divorce - 8/04

Smart Marriages ® cmfce
Tue Aug 31 18:39:59 EDT 2004

subject: Classes/Poor/Chile/Wyoming/Seuths/New cause of Divorce - 8/04


> From This Day Forward: One-day Marriage Conference Presented by The
> Seventh-day Adventist Church Family Ministry Oct 9, 2004, 9am-5:30pm, at the
> Sheraton National Hotel in Alexandria, Virginia. A team of dynamic and
> inspirational speakers will teach you how to make your marriage come alive and
> to keep the passion, intimacy and commitment thriving in your marriage. Group
> rates available. To download a complete brochure, visit
> To register:
> 800-732-7587
> Web:
Lunch included!
SEPT 25, 9am-4:30pm at First Things First of Greater Richmond
For COUPLES: Fighting FOR Your Marriage - the PREP Approach teaches
marriage skills and attitudes.
For SINGLES: How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk (or Jerkette) - learn to keep
balance as a relationship grows and skills to Pick a Partner.
For Reservations: Call 282-9763 (x x 17) or
Email: info at


> I Can't Give You Anything But Love: Would Poor Couples With Children Be
> Better Off Economically If They Married? by Paula Roberts. Policymakers
> and researchers alike are debating whether marriage might be an
> anti-poverty strategy for families with children. Some believe that if
> more parents married, there would be a substantial decrease in poverty.
> Others suggest that increasing the marriage rate among poor and
> near-poor parents, while not dramatically reducing poverty, would make a
> significant dent in the poverty rate for families with children. Still
> others are highly skeptical of these claims. This issue brief summarizes
> recent research bearing on the validity of these viewpoints.

> Dear Diane,
> I want to thank you for all the effort you made to have such a great
> conference this year. It was my first time, but I hope it won't be the last.
> We are encouraging lots of people here in Chile to attend next year?s
> conference.
> Alejandra Ibieta
> Chile

I want to share this with the list by way of thanking ALL of you for making
this such a great conference - such that attendees from far-away places like
Chile, Israel, Singapore, Australia etc - feel the long journey was worth
it. Thanks to the presenters, exhibitors and volunteers but also to the
many attendees who go out of their way to be warm, welcoming and inclusive.
The evaluations say time and again how wonderfully inclusive and welcoming
the conference feels to newcomers - they say that really stands out and is
very special. I agree - it's a wonderful thing to be known for - inclusivity
and diversity - all rowing together.
- diane

> According to FirstSearch data base, more than 200 libraries around the U.S.
> own this video. I would recommend getting it through interlibrary loan from
> their nearest public library.
> Dr. William Bailey
> U. of Arkansas

People would like to be able to buy their own copy to use in their various
marriage education programs, university classes, etc. We'd like to find out
who has rights and be able to have it available again for sale. But I
suppose figuring out which libraries have a copy is a good interim step -
people could check it out and use it. How do you use the FirstSearch
database? - diane

> I'm a university instructor teaching . . . Marriage and Family. . . . So,
> you can understand how much I appreciate getting this newsletter and all the
> internet links for further information.
> Re: the "Children of Divoce" video, I have a copy [I won't part with it!!]
> but FYI it has a 1997 copyright date. And it IS a tremendous video which I
> show each semester.
> Janette (Jan) C. Borst, M.S.
> Dept. of Sociology and Anthropology
> Emporia State University, Kansas
> e-mail borstjan at

So it was time flies. This is a helpful new bit of info. I've
heard from lots of you that have copies and say it's an invaluable tape. We
don't dare make copies - do we? No, we need the producers to make it
available. Keep on sleuthing please. - diane

Billings Gazette
August 31, 2004

> Rev Borgaard, featured here, attended his first Smart Marriages conference
> this July in Dallas - diane

CHEYENNE (AP) - A nationally syndicated religion columnist has been invited
to Wyoming to help save marriages.

Michael McManus has developed a program, Marriage Savers, that he says has
helped reduce divorce rates in cities that have implemented it.

The Rev. Kurt Borgaard of Cheyenne's First Christian Church joined Kathleen
Kelly of Faith Initiatives of Wyoming in inviting McManus.

"Nationally the divorce rate is about 50 percent, and the rate in Wyoming is
even worse than the national average," Borgaard said. "One of the things we
could do is educate people in regard to the state of marriage."

The premise behind Marriage Savers is to recruit local religious leaders to
commit themselves to working harder to save troubled marriages in their

Because churches perform 87 percent of marriage ceremonies, religious
leaders are in a position to directly influence policies related to
marriage, McManus said.

The leaders sign a pact called a Community Marriage Policy that requires all
involved clergy to stand together on issues such as premarital education and
counseling, and recruitment of mature married couples to help mentor newly
married couples.

"In every congregation of every church or synagogue or mosque, there are
couples in good marriages who could help other couples in struggling
marriages," McManus said Thursday from his home in Potomac, Md.

The Marriage Savers program trains couples to help at five stages of the
relationship: preparation, enrichment, restoration, reconciliation and in
the creation of stepfamilies.

If Cheyenne adopts a Community Marriage Policy, it would be much more
difficult for couples to "church shop" before getting married to evade an
individual pastor's premarital requirements, Borgaard said.

August 31, 2004

Websites which help people look up old flames over the internet may be
adding to the UK's rising divorce rate.

The number of couples getting divorced is at its highest level for seven
years, official figures for 2003 show.

Relationship experts at Relate said the increasing number of people going to
websites like Friends Reunited to look up old partners was having an impact.

Long hours at the office made couples more likely to grow apart - and gave
more opportunity for internet romance.

Christina Northam, a relationship counsellor for Relate, said: "Internet
websites and chatrooms make having an affair easier and are among a whole
host of reasons for the rise in divorce rates.

"The first relationships we have are often very powerful and if we are
feeling miserable we may be tempted to go to Friends Reunited to see what an
old boyfriend or girlfriend is doing now."

Divorce rates have risen over the past three years since falling back from
the level reached in 1996, the Office of National Statistics said.

'Very upsetting'
The total number of divorces in England and Wales last year was 153,490,
working out at 13.9 divorces per 1,000 married people. This rose from 13.4
in 2002.

In almost seven out of 10 cases, the divorce was the first for both husband
and wife.

The average age at which couples split is increasing, at almost 42 for men
and 39-and-a-half for women.

Couples are also staying together for slightly longer, with the average up
from 11.1 years in 2002 to 11.3 years before they part company.

Just over half the couples who divorced last year had at least one child
aged under 16.

More than 150,000 children were in families where the parents divorced last
year - and a fifth of those were under five.

Denise Knowles, also of Relate, said: "The figures are very upsetting and
have to be a concern for us all.

"We need to make sure people are properly prepared for marriage because
there is sometimes an unrealistic expectation.

"People go into marriage thinking about the lovely wedding day and assuming
the rest of your life will echo that but it is just the beginning."

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