Tapes/Refugees/Grants Announced - 8/04

[Smart Marriages ®]

subject: Tapes/Refugees/Grants - 8/04


####################
- TAPES
>> - COUPLES LIVE TOGETHER FOR CONVENIENCE, NOT TO TEST MARRIAGE
- HELP FOR REFUGEE MARRIAGES?
- PRESIDENT ANNOUNCES $43 MILLION IN GRANTS FROM COMPASSION CAPITOL FUND
- HOORAY FOR THESE FOLKS!

#####################

- TAPES

> Diane,
> I know you're taking some well-earned vacation time, but I'm wondering if you
> have had time to listen to the conference tapes and can recommend some
> winners. I wasn't able to attend and wanted to hear what you recommend before
> I make my purchases.
> David

That's like asking which of my children I like best - they're ALL winners.
Especially the keynote sessions - you can't go wrong with any of the
keynotes. And, all the tapes I've had time to listen to so far are stellar!

I can HIGHLY recommend Terry Hargrave's session 404 "Caring for Marriage
While Caring for Aging Parents". Even if you're not in that boat yet, you
will be - or you'll be working with couples who are. As Terry points out,
carrying for aging parents will be the #1 challenge for marriages in the
next 20 years. It's an unforgettable, practical tape.

I listened to two marketing tapes and HIGHLY recommend both of them - they
are FILLED with useful ideas - also with great energy and are fun to listen
to. 414 "Shake that Marketing Brain" Joel Saltzman and
701 "Marketing Chattanooga Style" Julie Baumgardner and Rosalyn Hickman.

I've also listened to and can recommend: #617 Grant Writing and Evaluation,
#203 The Relationship Enhancement Program, #703 Relate with Your Mate, #315
The Black Marriage Curriculum, #716 Doing Time: Marriage Ed in Prison and
#310 Marriage Ed in the Workplace - all very good.

And though I haven't listened to them yet, these are the most HiGHLY-RATED
sessions by conference attendees. I'm about 25% through reading the
conference evaluations so this could change, but evaluations are usually
pretty consistent:

At this point, these 6 are pretty much tied for first place:
801 "Intentional Couples" Bill Doherty
807 "Incredible Sex" Mark Gungor
205 "How to Help Really Difficult Couples" Tom and Bev Rodgers
601 "Rekindling Desire" Barry McCarthy
202 "Hot Monogamy" Pat Love
303 "Power Love" Steven Stosny

These 5 are bunched up around 2nd place:
304 "Divorce Busting" Michele Weiner-Davis
203 "How Can I Forgive You?" Jan Spring
501 "Get Through to You" Terry Real
404 "Caring for Marriage While Caring for Aging Parents" - Hargrave
405 "Sherod's Squares" Sherod Miller

These are in close heat at third place:
315 "Black Marriage Curriculum" Rozario Slack, Nisa Muhammad
602 "SYMBIS" Les Parrott
506 "Affairs" Peggy Vaughan
616 "Low Income Couples" Charlick, Dasi, Adler & Luckie
703 "Relate with Your Mate" Vicki Loyer-Carlson
714 "Controlled Separation" Lee Raffel and Elsie Radtke
802 "Love Alive" Michele Weiner-Davis
411 "Rites of Passage" Charles Lee-Johnson
310 "Marriage Ed in Workplace" Tim Gardner
702 "Jealousy" Lori Gordon, Don Adams

Also, should share with you that someone called yesterday to ask if any new
*stars* emerged at the conference. They were looking for speakers for a
community event. Of first-time presenters, Mark Gungor topped the charts.
He was recommended for a keynote or banquet more times than anyone else.
Terry Real and Dion Evans also rang a lot of people's bells. Of course,
we've got dozens of top-rated speakers who have presented time and again and
get over-the-top raves year after year - and they cover all the bases.
Contact me and I'll be able to help you find a speaker to suite your needs
and your pocketbook.

To order tapes, CDs, videos, DVDs or MP3s - call 800-241-7785 or visit
playbacknow.com Remember, buy 10 of any format and get two free.
- diane

>> ##########################
>> - COUPLES LIVE TOGETHER FOR CONVENIENCE, NOT TO TEST MARRIAGE

> Diane:
> I think if Sassler interviewed both halves of the couple, and separately, she
> would find that most of the women are thinking about whether the cohabitation
> is leading to marriage, even if the men are not.
> Beau Weston
> Centre College

Received this observation from many of you. - diane

##########################
- HELP FOR REFUGEE MARRIAGES?
>
> Diane, I'm still at Bethany Christian Services in Grand Rapids and I have a
> new challenge: Bethany has a Refugee Unit. This unit has been referring
> refugee couples to me for marital counseling. Most of the couples have been
> from Bosnia and Eastern Africa (Somalia, Sudan, etc). I have also been
> teaching a marriage enrichment workshop for these couples. The persistent
> question is, "How do I, as an American WASP Protestant marriage therapist help
> couples who from tribal cultures, have marriages that are arranged and often
> Muslim? Frankly, John Gottman is really not very helpful!
>
> The person working with me is himself a refugee. Officially, he's the
> translator. I consider him to be the co-therapist and my mentor. He's
> working on his MSW. I have met with him many times in his office, pelting
> him with questions about arranged marriages, poligamy and the Muslim
> understanding of marriage.
>
> In spite of all this, I am deeply enjoying this challenge.
>
> This is my question to you: are you aware of others who are working with
> refugee couples and who have done some writing or have a web-site? I would
> love to find some wisdom out there! There is a fair amount of information
> out about refugee adjustment and how counselors can work with these people,
> but I haven't been able to find anything specifically for marital therapy.
>
> Phil Nienhuis, MSW
> PNienhuis at bethany.org

The Health and Human Services (HHS) Refugee folks have recognized this as a
crucial need and have been funding the development of programs to strengthen
refugee marriages for several years. At the Smart Marriages Dallas
conference, there were roundtables, focus groups and a workshop which
featured the adaptation of several programs for this purpose including
Susan Heitler's Power of Two. At last year's conference, there was a
workshop on working with refugee couples using George Doub's Family Wellness
model. You might start by ordering these tapes (90 mins/$15 each at
800-241-7785). I also suggest you visit the newslist archive and search for
Refugee (http://archives.his.com/smartmarriages/) I'll share your inquiry
with the list and people to share their replies to you with me. - diane

> #754-416
> Power of Two for Refugees
> Susan Heitler, PhD, Tatyana Fertelmeyster, MA
> Learn how to adapt a marriage skills program "across cultures" to work with
> refugee or any low income, low education, highly stressed population.

> #753-608
> The Refugee Family: From Surviving to Thriving
> George Doub, MDiv, Ana Morante, MA
> Learn how to work with the tragedy, isolation and cultural challenges facing
> these families by helping them identify their strengths, maintain their
> identity, renegotiate roles and connect with community supports.

########################
- PRESIDENT ANNOUNCES $43 MILLION IN GRANTS FROM COMPASSION CAPITOL FUND

PRESS RELEASE
Tuesday, August 3, 2004
Contact: ACF Press Office
(202) 401-9215

Faith and Community-Based Groups to Help Youth, Couples, Needy

President Bush today announced $42,957,597 in 145 grants to
organizations that provide services and support through soup kitchens,
homeless shelters, drug treatment centers, job training programs, and
other compassionate programs. Faith-based and community-based
organizations will receive the federal funding from the Compassion
Capital Fund, which is in its third year of existence. . . .

Today's announcement consists of two sets of grants. The first totals
$38 million. $6.9 million -- the first installment of a three-year grant
award -- will go to 14 new intermediary organizations, including the
Metropolitan Council on Jewish Poverty in New York; Cherokee Nation in
Oklahoma; the Governor's Office for Faith-Based and Community
Initiatives in Ohio; and Mission West Virginia, Inc. $31.1 million will
be used for 31 second and third-year continuation awards from the
Compassion Capital Fund Demonstration Program. The intermediaries will
assist grass-root, faith and community-based organizations so they may
increase their effectiveness, enhance their ability to provide social
services and create collaborations to better serve those in need.

The second set of grants totals $4.9 million under the Compassion
Capital Fund Targeted Capacity Building Program. They will be given to
100 organizations that work on priority issues such as at-risk youth,
homelessness, healthy marriages and serving people in rural communities.
Organizations include Hope Partnership for Education in Pennsylvania;
Prevent Child Abuse in Minnesota; the Community Partnership for the
Homeless in Texas; EnFamilia in Florida; and Lutheran Social Services of
South Dakota.

"The grants we are announcing today give what President Bush calls the
'armies of compassion' the resources they need to serve the poor, the
hungry, the homeless and the addicted," said Dr. Wade F. Horn, HHS
assistant secretary for children and families. "Faith-based and
community-based groups know the problems and solutions in their
neighborhoods. Now they will have more resources with which to improve
the lives of children and families around the country."

Since the program's inception three years ago, $99.5 million will be
given to a total of 1,906 organizations through the Compassion Capital
Fund, which is run by HHS' Administration for Children and Families. One
hundred and ninety-seven organizations have received grants and 1,709
grass-roots faith and community-based organizations have or will receive
sub-awards by Sept. 30, 2004. For a complete list of grantees for
today's awards, go to:

http://www.hhs.gov/news/press/2004pres/20040803b.html

########################
- HOORAY FOR THESE FOLKS!
Just think what we could do if TANF would pass. But in meantime,
if you click on the url above you'll see that this announcement includes
BIG grants ($hundreds of thousands) and "little" grants of $50,000 each.
Attendees of the conference and readers of the smartmarriages list will
recognize - and should send up a cheer for - a bunch of the little ones
($50K) which include:

Bluegrass Healthy Marriages Partnership, Lexington, KY

Community Marriage Builders, Inc., Evansville, IN

Community Marriage Initiative, Inc., Amherst, NH

EnFamilia, Inc., Homestead, FL

Families Are Relationships (FAR) Foundation, Dallas, TX

Family Life Council of Greater Greensboro, Inc., Greensboro, NC

Family Support Council, Dalton, GA

Heritage Community Services, Inc., Charleston, SC

Iowa Family Policy Center, Pleasant Hill, IA

Marriage Alliance of Central Virginia, Forest, VA

Marriage Builders Alliance of Richmond, Richmond, VA

Opportunities Industrialization Center of Greater Milwaukee, WI

Orange County Marriage Resource Center, Anaheim, CA

Palmetto Family Council, Columbia, SC

Sioux Empire Marriages Savers, Sioux Falls, SD

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