Nevada: Growing/ One Wedding, Hold the Fries/Sex Starved - 1/03

[Smartmarriages ®]

subject: Nevada: Growing/ One Wedding, Hold the Fries/Sex Starved - 1/03

from: Smart Marriages®


- NEVADA GROWING FAST:
- ONE WEDDING, PLEASE, AND HOLD THE FRIES
- MARRIAGE DAY - FROM THE CATHOLIC MARRIAGE LISTSERVE:
- MORE 'SEX STARVED' RESPONSES:
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- NEVADA GROWING FAST:

Diane, 

Is this why you picked Nevada for the Smart Marriages conference?
Bob T

> U.S. Population Up 3 Million in the Last Year
> Nevada Grows Over Three Times as Fast as Nation
> 
No, it isn't, I had no idea.  Maybe this means that while we're in Reno for
the conference we should look around and buy some land!  If we're not too
busy demonstrating at the wedding chapels, that is.  See below.    - diane

#################
- ONE WEDDING, PLEASE, AND HOLD THE FRIES

This article is about Las Vegas, which has a huge wedding chapel business,
but Reno, our conference destination, also has its share of quickie wedding
chapels. As to what we can do, maybe we can introduce the concept of
marriage education - make part of the goodie bag (a coupon for a marriage
education class or set of videos and workbook) - or a separate add-on
wedding "option" like the flowers and music or the side trip to the Grand
Canyon? "Really make a wedding you can count on for lifelong memories, take
a class...."   In Florida, where legislation requires a 3-day wait for
anyone applying for a license who has not taken at least a 4-hour marriage
skills class, there are marriage education "outlets" that offer on-the-spot
4 hour classes to couples who still want to get married the same day they
apply for their license.  Not what the legislators had in mind - but we do
live in a world of supply and demand - and those who teach the quickie
on-demand classes say that they have had some couples who by taking the
classes sobered up and decided not to get married and others who come back
for marriage coaching after their marriage hit the rocks.  Maybe some of you
can think of something clever and we'll make it part of our visit to Reno.
  - diane 

Diane, 
This article almost made me ill - it diminishes marriage so much. Will we be
able to do anything about this when we're in Nevada?  - Judy Parejko

November 24, 2002 Sunday

ONE WEDDING, PLEASE, AND HOLD THE FRIES

Tom Uhlenbrock Of the Post-Dispatch

LAS VEGAS 

In Las Vegas, getting married can be nearly as uncomplicated as going
through the drive-up window at a fast-food restaurant.

Manager Sheri Jacobs was the calm at the eye of an international storm
brewing inside A Special Memory Wedding Chapel.

A Japanese couple was in the midst of being married before friends and
relatives in the front room. A French family was gathering in the lobby
for a ceremony in the smaller rear chapel. And a middle-aged man and his
much younger Asian fiancee walked in the door arm in arm and said they
wanted to be married at 6 p.m. "I can't do 6, but we've got 6:30 and 7,"
Jacobs said as she peered into the schedule book at her counter office.

The couple agreed on a time, and Jacobs was talking limo, flowers, photos
and videos when a buzzer rang. She sprinted off, whipped open the door to
the large chapel and stood clapping as the beaming Japanese newlyweds
marched out. 

"OK, where was I?" she said back at the counter. "Cash or credit card?"

Las Vegas averaged 10,262 weddings a month last year, or 337 a day.
There's no waiting period, and no blood test. Small wedding chapels, such
as A Special Memory, are about as common as fast-food restaurants in
town. 

"We do 300 or 400 weddings a month," Jacobs said during a breather. "We
get people from all over the world.

"We've had people from Scotland in kilts. We've had people come in
dressed as Elvis. We've had people in togas. We had a nude wedding in the
chapel. They were entertainers here. All the showgirls were topless --
they had big feathers with them."

Jacobs has had pregnant women walk down the aisle, and women who carried
their newborns. 

"If we get people who are obviously drunk, we let them sit here for a
couple of hours, drinking coffee, to see if this is what they really want
to do," she said. 

>From the street, A Special Memory looks like a New England chapel with a
gazebo on the side. "We're off The Strip, so there's no sleazy places
next to us," Jacobs said. "You're not going to have the groom walk
outside and have some girl accost him."

If you don't want to be married at the chapel, Jacobs will arrange for a
ceremony in a hot-air balloon or helicopter, or on horseback. You can be
married at the Grand Canyon, on nearby Mount Charleston or at the Harley
Davidson Cafe, where a giant motorcycle protrudes out the front.

The $599 wedding package includes a limo, use of the large front chapel,
flowers, a photo album with 20 pictures, a video, champagne glasses and
nonalcoholic champagne, even the bride's garter. For $200 more, you get
dinner and a night's stay at a luxury resort for your honeymoon.

Every bride gets a complimentary gift package with Tupperware, Secret
deodorant and other goodies inside.

The cheapest wedding is $50 at the drive-up window. That's $25 for the
ceremony and $25 for the minister.

"You can come up in our limo, or come in your own car," Jacobs said.
"We've had people on bikes, a Hummer, a trolley. We've had big campers
with the whole wedding party inside.

"Some people do it because it's a hoot. Some because it's cheap, or they
don't want to get dressed."

The Rev. Duane Williams, tall and dignified, finished up with the French
family and watched as they gathered outside for photos.

Asked how many weddings he's performed, Williams replied: "I've been
doing this for 18 years, and we've averaged about 300 a month. So that's
300 times 12 times 18." Or 64,800.

"Nationally, the rate of successful marriages is about 50-50," he said.
"But we feel our chapel has greater success because this is a
family-oriented chapel. That one family came from Japan for the wedding."

Although there was no business on this day at the drive-up, the amiable
Williams agreed to show how it works. He poked his head out the window,
looking as if he was ready to take a food order, and stuck two small
speakers on the counter.

"Every bride gets 'The Wedding March,'" he said as music filled the air.

NOTES: 
A Special Memory can be reached at 1-800-962-7798 and
www.aspecialmemory.com.

Copyright 2002 St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Inc.
St. Louis Post-Dispatch
######################

- MARRIAGE DAY - FROM THE CATHOLIC MARRIAGE LISTSERVE:

> There are a number of "Catholic events" that go on around Valentine's Day in
> support of marriage.  One of the biggest is likely World Wide Marriage
> Encounter's World Marriage Day which is always held the Saturday BEFORE
> Valentine's Day (Feb 8th, this year.)  Many ME groups will have a very nice
> dinner.  Our ME group starts with Mass (celebrated by our bishop and ending
> with a renewal of vows), then has dinner and then a dance.  There are door
> prizes and recognition for the couple with the biggest anniversary.  We will
> also do a diocesan search this year for the couples who are (A) married 25+
> and 50+ years and (B) the couple who has been married the longest.  If you
> want additional ideas, look on smartmarriages.com.  There are some great ideas
> for celebrating marriage there that would fit in a Catholic context.  We hope
> to expand and get bigger every year!  Best of luck!
> 
> Dale D. Powers, Director
> Office of Family Life and Adult Christian Living
> Diocese of Knoxville

And, to remind you, Marriage Week USA is Feb 8 - 15th.

###################
- MORE 'SEX STARVED' RESPONSES:

Diane,
FYI, with regard to Pastor Svendsen's inquiry, a colleague and I actually
took a peek at NSFH data a while back. Using the NSFH, we found that about
1-2% of stable marriages are "sexless," that is, individuals report no sex
in the last year. The strongest predictor of that situation was serious
health problems for self or spouse. Age, understandably, was also a weak
predictor above and beyond health.

Alan Hawkins
- - - - -  - - -  
I could not help but think of a wonderful dissertation one of my students
did on sexuality and disability when I read the email on marriages where
intercourse is not a possibility because of health-related problems. My
student is a quadrapalegic and is happily married. In fact, he and his wife
came on two different occasions to speak to my classes on Couple Therapy. He
developed a manual on disabled sexuality that I think would be very, very
helpful to those facing the problem of disability and sexual intimacy. I
would be happy to put those who are interested in contact with him.

Sincerely,
Jennifer L. Baker
JBaker at Forest.edu
MFT Program Director
Springfield, MO 65807

- - - - - - - - - - - -  -

Diane, 
Why don't you refer the inquiry regarding loss of sexual function to your
"My husband is impotent" question on your Dr Romance column. I found that
helpful. 
A. R. Wells 

I forgot all about it.  Here's the url:

http://www.eharlequin.com/harl/life/expert/drromance/11lexdrb11.htm


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