Grants/Coalitions/Poll/Interview subjects/Forums - 8/8/03

Fri Aug 8 17:07:44 EDT 2003

subject: Grants/Coalitions/Poll/Interview subjects/Forums - 8/8/03

from: Smart Marriages®

- HELP WITH GRANTS
- COMMUNITY COALITIONS
- INTERVIEW SUBJECTS?
- CNN MARRIAGE POLL
- RULES OF RE-ENGAGEMENT
- NEW YORK COMMUNITY HEALTHY MARRIAGE PARTNERSHIPS FREE FORUMS
- CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE EXPERT WARNS: BEWARE INTERNET INFIDELITY
- FIND UNITY IN YOUR DIVERSITY - FREE NEWSLETTER

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- HELP WITH GRANTS

> Hi Diane,
> I am attempting to assist a local, non-proft, faith-based organization apply
> for a grant to the Institute for Youth Development (RFP #03-103)to conduct
> marriage and family strengthening life skills and divorce prevention.
> Unfortunately, I have very limited training in grant writing.  It would be
> very helpful to this organization to look at a previously submitted grant
> for this kind of activity.  (They are certified "Couples Communication"
> instructors and would be using this curriculum).  Could you post my request
> to your list?  Thanks so much for your help.
> 
> Anyone able to offer any guidance, etc., please feel free to e-mail me at:
> sbouch1 at umbc.edu and the couple applying for the grant, Jeff and Tracy Smith
> at questions at skills4life.info.
> 
> Stacey Bouchet
> Doctoral Student
> University of Maryland, Baltimore County

***What a service it would be to post successful grant applications on the
Smart Marriages web site.  Would any of you be willing to share?  Send them
to me as email text and I'll create a page for them on the web site
immediately.  - diane

######################
- COMMUNITY COALITIONS:

> Hi Diane, 
> My wife and I attended the Smart Marriages conference in Reno. Our first time.
> Great! Thanks for spearheading this excellent and much-needed movement.
> 
> I was very intrigued by what's happening as groups are forming community
> coalitions to sponsor Marriage and Family Initiatives and receiving federal
> grant money to do it.
> 
> I remember that a few initiatives are already successfully underway. Could you
> e-mail me some contact numbers so I could speak with organizers to see how the
> programs started and are proceeding?
> 
> Pastor Bruce Latshaw
> Vineyard Christian Fellowship
> Landenberg, PA
Blatshaw at dol.net

Your FIRST step for getting information and assistance on starting a healthy
marriage initiative in your community should be to visit the HHS/ACF website
at http://www.acf.hhs.gov/key.html.  Click on Healthy Marriage and follow
the directions for asking a question...and then simply ask them for
Technical Assistance.  You MUST ask for their help - they aren't going to
contact you until you do this. (This help is free - you paid on April 15th.
;))

Second, go to the web site http://www.smartmarriages.com and click on
Directory of Programs. Then click on State and Community Initiatives.
If any of you have an initiative and would like to be listed on this page,
send me your listing.

And, Third, I'm sure some of you on the list will contact Pastor Latshaw.

-  diane 

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- INTERVIEW SUBJECTS?

> Dear Ms. Sollee,
> I'm an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Southern
> California and am conducting interviews with people age 25-50 in the greater
> Los Angeles area on their thoughts are about things like love, commitment,
> and marriage.  The interviews last about an hour and a half and are
> conducted at the person's home or in a nearby coffee shop or on our campus;
> no one who participates will ever have his or her name or identifying
> information revealed; and all participants receive $20 for their time.  I've
> done about 40 interviews so far and people seem to find them interesting and
> fun -- a chance to pause and reflect a little on important matters in one's
> life.
> 
> I would like to interview couples (or individuals) who have taken part in a
> Smart Marriage class or seminar, or who are otherwise part of the pro-marriage
> movement.  Might it be possible to forward this email to some in your network
> who live in the LA area?  I'd be grateful for any help you could lend.
> Neil Gross, Ph.D.
> Department of Sociology
> University of Southern California
> ngross at usc.edu
> (213) 821-2331

If you're not in the LA area, maybe you know someone who is.  Forward to
anyone that you think might like to help.  - diane

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- CNN MARRIAGE POLL

> Diane, It appears that a poll being conducted by CNN will be used to show how
> "out of date" or "up to date" the President is in his beliefs about marriage
> being a union only between one man and one woman. If this concerns you, you
> can go to the site below and cast a vote.
> 
> CNN Poll asks: Should marriage be legally defined as only a union between a
> man and a woman?
> http://edition.cnn.com/2003/ALLPOLITICS/07/30/bush.gay.marriage/index.html

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- RULES OF RE-ENGAGEMENT

Rules of re-engagement
It takes both partners  and a willingness to be introspective  to repair
infidelity's damage.

Hi Diane,

>From time to time you put out "media requests", looking for people who fit
certain profiles to be featured in upcoming stories.  I would like to share
an article from yesterday's Orange County Register that demonstrates what
can happen if we respond to these requests.   I was approached by a reporter
from the Orange County Register who was interested in writing a "real life
story" about reconciliation after infidelity, in the context of Kobe
Bryant's admission of adultery.  The reporter asked  if I could refer her to
couples who had recovered from such a situation.  The article, printed
yesterday as the cover story in the paper's "Accent" section, profiles two
local couples who have recovered from infidelity.  That would be nice by
itself.  What makes this special, is that these two couples also "happen to
be" members of the Orange County Marriage Coalition who lead two separate
programs/ministries for couples in troubled marriages.  So these two
programs get some great publicity while a strong pro-marriage message of
"hope" gets spread throughout the county.  The article also quotes a third
member of the Orange County Marriage Coalition, Dave Carder, who has written
a book on recovering from infidelity entitled "Torn Asunder", and is a
pastor at one of the churches that is taking a leadership role in the Orange
County Marriage Initiative.  Next to the main article is a "Related
Article", entitled "Here's how to get information about marriage-saving
workshops".  What a great title for a newspaper article!  That article
profiles the two programs these couples are involved with, "Retrouvaille"
and "Hope For My Marriage", and refers the readers to the website for the
Orange County Marriage Resource Center for "more resources for troubled
marriages".  I encourage readers of your newslist to cultivate these types
of relationships because I believe that the media can play an invaluable
role in the work that we are all doing.

Dennis Stoica
Orange County Marriage Resource Center
www.OCMarriage.org

the link to the article:
http://www2.ocregister.com/ocrweb/ocr/article.do?id=50359&section=ACCENT&sub
section=ACCENT&year=2003&month=8&day=1
The "Related Stories" are in a box on the right hand side of the main
article.

Yes, the media is the only way we're going to reach the public and change
the culture.  We need to help them whenever we can.  - diane

####################

- NEW YORK COMMUNITY HEALTHY MARRIAGE PARTNERSHIPS FORUMS

If you live in NY, here is your chance to weigh in as a marriage-informed
citizen.  - diane 

July 29, 2003
REGISTER NOW (free) at their website
http://www.otda.state.ny.us/featured/new/default.htm

The New York State Office of Temporary and Disability Assistance (OTDA)
invites participation in a series of regional forums on Community Healthy
MARRIAGE Partnerships. These forums will be held in Rochester (August 18),
Albany (September 8) and New York City (September 9).

Legislation reauthorizing the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF)
Block Grant is before Congress. It is expected that the final legislation
will contain a provision ("Purpose 4") to encourage health marriages and the
resulting improved outcomes for children. OTDA is seeking input from local
organizations, advocates, researchers, and other interested individuals and
organizations (THAT'S YOU!).

The Community Healthy Marriage Partnerships forums are intended to encourage
knowledge sharing and discussion of opportunities and challenges for New
York to consider when formulating practical and workable approaches to the
healthy marriages/family formation provisions that will be contained in the
federal legislation.

Each forum will include a brief overview of the current status of the
healthy marriages/family formation provisions proposed for TANF and an
overview of initiatives being undertaken in other states.

Among the issues we would like your inputs on are:

How should the State approach and implement a healthy families initiative?
What role should New York State play in any healthy marriage initiative?
How can community-based and faith-based organizations be utilized most
effectively in New York State to support healthy families?
What kinds of programs would be most effective in encouraging and supporting
healthy families? 
How can the State assure that domestic violence issues are identified and
addressed and that women's health and safety are not compromised?
Participants are invited to present written statements or suggestions if
they wish.

You may register for any of the forums using the printable form provided (MS
Word, 31k).

For more information contact Lorraine Noval or Rebecca Wood at 518-474-9516.

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- CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE EXPERT WARNS: BEWARE INTERNET INFIDELITY

Agape Press 
By Jim Brown
July 31, 2003

(AgapePress) - An expert on the family says a growing number of spouses are
destroying their marital relationships by entering Internet chat rooms.

A new study conducted by a researcher at the University of Florida finds
that 83% of spouses who had Internet encounters with the opposite sex did
not consider it to be cheating. The study's author, Beatriz Mileham,
believes "the Internet will soon become the most common form of infidelity,
if it isn't already."

Focus on the Family marriage analyst Glenn Stanton tends to agree with her.
He says such relationships typically develop around common interests, but
create all sorts of trouble.

"When you've lived with an individual, you see every part of them. The very
deceptive thing about these online affairs is that, like in dating
relationships, you're only seeing the best part of the other person. That is
a lie from Satan that really sandbags a lot of marriages," Stanton says.

The Christian marriage analyst says it is important for Christians to
remember that they can be emotionally unfaithful to their spouse by simply
giving their heart and affections to another member of the opposite sex.

Stanton says the benefits that come with a married relationship cannot be
replicated elsewhere. In his work, he says he sees time and again that
people who leave their marital relationship and try to set up another
relationship that will be more satisfying are usually very disappointed. "We
find that our happiness rests at home with our spouse," he says.

Stanton urges Christian husbands and wives to steer clear of Internet chat
rooms geared specifically for married couples, and to be as intentional
about investing and managing their relationships as they might be about
their 401-K.

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- FIND UNITY IN YOUR DIVERSITY
David and Claudia Arp Marriage Alive Newsletter - August 2003

Did the traits that attracted you to each other before marriage, after
marriage become irritations? They did for us. When we first met, I (Claudia)
loved how Dave was so easy going and never got in a hurry or looked at his
watch. 

I (Dave) liked Claudia's endless energy. There was always something to do or
some place to go! Just being around her was exciting. Then we got married.
All of sudden I (Claudia) realized this man I had married wouldn't move! And
it dawned on me (Dave) that I had married Miss Activity and all I wanted was
a quiet evening at home. Right away we were confronted with our differences
and for the past forty years, we're worked to find unity in our diversity.

When we began to realize that the ways we are different give balance, we
began to appreciate each other in a deeper way. You can make the same
discovery. For example:

*    The time oriented partner will help you stay on schedule while the
people oriented partner will help you be more sensitive to others.
*    The spontaneous partner will interject fun and excitement into the
relationship and the organized planner partner will keep you from chaos!
*    The night owl is great at waiting up for that last teenager to get
home and the morning lark is all sparkle with the baby at 5 a. m.

Take our advice. Look for ways to find unity in your diversity and you'll
find that you really can appreciate your differences.

If you would like to subscribe to the Arp's  FREE list or browse their
archives, go to: 
http://www.marriagealive.com/Resources/index.cfm?Section=Newsletter

C 2003 Marriage Alive International

**************************
Copyright © 2002 CMFCE. All rights reserved.

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This newslist shares information on marriage, divorce and educational
approaches.  Opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by members of the
Coalition.

This is a moderated list. Replies are read by Diane Sollee, editor. Please
indicate if your response is NOT to be shared with the list.

Newsletter archive - to read ALL posts to the newsletter:
http://archives.his.com/smartmarriages/index.html#start

7th annual Smart Marriages conference/RENO, Nevada took place
June 26-29, 2003  see http://www.smartmarriages.com/conferencedetails.html
to order tapes

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd NW,   Washington, DC 20015-1961
www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332 FAX 202-362-0973
cmfce at smartmarriages.com