Grow old along with me...7/02

[Smartmarriages ®]

subject:  Grow old along with me...7/02

Older Husbands Relied on by Wives Outlive Peers


July 29, 2002  
- By Suzanne Rostler
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Elderly men who are the rock of their
relationship may outlive their peers who are not cited as a source of
strength by their spouse, according to researchers.

Investigators found that men aged 65 and older who were named as a source of
emotional strength by their wives were more likely to be alive 6 years
later, after economic and medical factors were taken into account.

A person who is relied on by a spouse may feel valued, which can improve
self-esteem and feelings of usefulness, Dr. Roni Beth Tower, who conducted
the study while at Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut, and colleagues
suggest.

The report, published in a recent issue of Psychosomatic Medicine, adds to a
growing body of research into the effects of marriage on physical and
emotional well-being. Previous studies have tied marriage to longevity and
lower levels of depression, particularly in men.

To investigate whether closeness within a marriage plays a role, the
researchers interviewed 305 healthy couples at least 65 years old. The
average length of marriage was more than 43 years and 85% of couples were in
their first marriage.

Couples were deemed close if they named their spouse as a confidant or
source of emotional strength, and if they were named by their spouse as a
confidant or source of strength. From this definition, four patterns of
marital closeness were possible: both the wife and husband naming the other;
only the wife naming the husband; only the husband naming the wife; or
neither naming the other as an emotional support.

The researchers found that a husband who named his wife was less likely to
remain alive, possibly due to the stress of contemplating the eventual death
of a wife who is a source of strength. Indeed, husbands who named their
wives as sources of strength were also less likely to have faith that things
would work out in the future, the study findings suggest.

This type of marriage may reflect a conflict with societal norms for gender
roles, Tower said in an interview, particularly among older couples.
Wives who were cited as a confidant were less likely to die only if they did
not have children. Wives who had children and were named as a source of
strength were slightly more likely to die, possibly due to the burdens
associated with family ties. These women tended to be involved in the lives
of their children and grandchildren.

Women were equally happy and hopeful whether they had children or not, the
report indicates.

"Perhaps the sheer burdens associated with presumably positive social ties
took their toll through the stress associated with being relied on by loved
ones," the authors suggest.

Tower and colleagues caution against generalizing the results to younger
couples, since husbands and wives in the study belonged to a generation with
different beliefs about marriage and the roles of men and women than younger
generations may have.

"Conditions have changed during the 20th century and we are not claiming
that the impact of specific configurations of marital closeness will be the
same for later generations," they write.

SOURCE: Psychosomatic Medicine


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