Wedding Bells/George & Laura/vols/Heart Breaker tip/school programs
cmfce at his.com
Tue Jan 23 10:47:50 EST 2001
subject: Wedding Bells/George & Laura/vols/Heart Breaker tip/school programs
from: Smart Marriages
Students: I still need volunteers for the Orlando Smart Marriages
conference. Send me an EMAIL if you're interested in attending
the conference in exchange for working. Those who are already
volunteering, I still have openings for volunteers for the
institutes. Check with me if you haven't signed on for
an institute spot. -diane sollee
WEDDING BELLS MAGAZINE -
"He Said, She Said" - the lead article in the Spring/Summer issue of
Wedding Bells features experts Pat Love, Lori Gordon, Les Parrott,
Barry McCarty, and Bill Bailey on Sex, Romance, Finances, Conflict
and Housework. This is the first of a two-part article based on
interviews with engaged couples before the marriage. They will do
a follow-up after the marriage with the same couples to see
how their views have (or have not) changed on the these topics.
All of the featured experts will present at the Orlando
Smart Marriages conference. I couldn't get permission to
reprint the article and it's not on line so no url. - diane
SCHOOL PROGRAMS: 'REALTIONSHIPS' VS 'THE "M" WORD':
I agree completely with David Blankenhorn that we as individuals
as well as our culture are reluctant to use the word "marriage" and instead
would prefer to more politically correct term "relationships". Words do
matter. Saying "marriage" when that is what is meant is important.
I do disagree, however, with his contention that educators do not endorse
materials which promote marriage. In my experience over the last six years
of introducing marriage education materials around the country, most
teachers, public and private schools and districts I have worked with are
supportive of marriage education programs. In fact, the word "marriage" is
consistently used in most state health and family and consumer sciences
We who develop youth marriage education programs are faced with a dilemma
when developing curricula about marriage. We agree that these skills which
help marriage last and succeed can be taught at a young age. Yet, if you
were to use the word "marriage" around your typical middle school boy, he
would roll his eyes and stop listening to the lesson. Hence, there are some
"marriage" education programs which do not use the word "marriage" because
it is developmentally inappropriate and would not help students learn the
basic relationship skills which are foundational to enjoying a successful
Not using the word "marriage" in a youth program does not
necessarily mean it does not teach needed "marriage" skills.
The Dibble Fund for Marriage Education
NOTE: Kay Reed will present a keynote at Smart Marriages Orlando on
why and how to implement school/youth programs.
ANOTHER GREAT TIP FROM REAL AGE:
Spending too much time away from your significant other can
literally be hard on your heart.
A recent study revealed that couples that had little
contact with one another during a three-year period
experienced higher blood pressure readings than couples that
were in more frequent contact. Over time, high blood
pressure can cause the heart to pump less efficiently.
RealAge Benefit: Long-term, loving relationships can make
your RealAge as much as 6.5 years younger.
To learn more about this tip, go to:
Michele and Bud Baldwin will be back by popular demand
presenting HeartMath at the Orlando Smart Marriages Conference.
"Recent discoveries find mechanisms by which the heart communicates directly
with the brain." Attend their workshop and learn how to help
couples become fully aware of their heartfelt emotions. - diane
GEORGE AND LAURA:
This is from Judy Parejko, who presented at the Denver SM conference on
Divorce Reform, who is working hard in Wisconsin to lower divorce
rates and who calls herself a 'doubting liberal' when it comes
to George Bush.....but who allows she finds herself gravitating
towards "what is generally labeled a 'conservative perspective' when
it comes to issues of marriage and divorce." - diane sollee
Why President Bush Is Good for the Country
Delete from your brain, for the moment, the misgivings you may harbor -
if you do - about our new President and listen to what he brings that is
healthy for us, as a nation.
As I watched the inauguration, I felt my heart soften when I saw just how
close he and his wife, Laura are. He reaches for her hand whenever they
are physically near each other. They look at each other with a genuine
fondness that makes them almost glow in each other's presence.
A healthy role model for happy marriage now resides in the White House.
We wanted to believe it was there before, but history has revealed the
unhappy truths including deceptions, prior divorces, and some
first-couples who were not terribly fond of each other.
Together, President and First Lady Bush have the husband / wife
differences that give marriage its spark. While he is competitive and
athletic, she is soft-spoken and likes to read. When they danced - and
he fumbled - they laughed at themselves.
Couples in America need to see what a married couple - happily married -
looks like. We need to see the fun they have together and the delight
they have in each other's company. A First Couple with these qualities
is rare, indeed. The fact that, for each of them, it's a first marriage
is a wonderful added bonus!
Another quality that is good for America is that this president said
"Yes" to his marriage and family when faced with hard choices. A man who
went through a change-of-heart after facing the demon - alcohol, who
reformed and is willing to talk about it - that's good for this country
too. His reform appears to be genuine - unlike Clinton's, which took
place to save his hide at the last moment(s) and still leaves many of us
doubting. This new president's personal moral integrity appears to be
credible. And the admiration that shines in his wife's eyes is the
If we can, just for a time, let go of any lingering misgivings, perhaps
we can all watch this First Couple as they display to the country the
grace of marriage. Our country desperately needs this. Our children
desperately need this - so that fewer parents will choose
marriage-termination. Thank you, President and First Lady Bush, for what
you are giving us!
Judy Parejko, a 'relationship specialist' at the Mediation Center of
Menomonie in Wisconsin, teaches distressed and divorcing couples
communication and problem-solving skills and can be reached at
jparejko at juno.com.
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