LETTER TO THE EDITOR: ALBUQUERQUE JOURNAL 2/14/01

[Smartmarriages ©]

subject: LETTER TO THE EDITOR: ALBUQUERQUE JOURNAL 2/14/01

from: Smart Marriages

TO THE EDITOR OF THE ALBUQUERQUE JOURNAL:


ACKNOWLEDGING THAT MARRIED COUPLES ARE HEALTHIER, WEALTHIER AND HAVE MORE
SATISFYING SEX, A BI-PARTISAN GROUP OF STATE LAWMAKERS RECENTLY TOOK STEPS
TO STRENGTHEN MARRIAGE AND REDUCE THE DIVORCE RATE IN NEW MEXICO BY 30% OVER
THE NEXT FIVE YEARS.

THIS YEAR IN THE LAND OF ENCHANTMENT 10,000 CHILDREN WILL BEGIN A LIFE IN
WHICH THE ONLY CERTAINTY IS THAT ONE OF THEIR PARENTS WILL LEAVE BECAUSE OF
DIVORCE.  FOR THESE CHILDREN, LOSS OF INCOME IS ALMOST CERTAIN, AS WELL AS
THE LOSS OF FRIENDS, SCHOOLS AND THE FAMILY HOME.  DESPITE THE HEROIC
EFFORTS OF MANY SINGLE PARENTS, CHILDREN OF DIVORCE ARE TWO TIMES MORE
LIKELY TO DROP OUT OF SCHOOL, THREE TIMES MORE LIKELY TO BECOME PREGNANT AS
TEENS AND SIX TIMES MORE LIKELY TO LIVE IN POVERTY AS CHILDREN FROM INTACT
FAMILIES.

ADDITIONALLY, 44% OF BABIES IN NEW MEXICO ARE BORN OUT OF WEDLOCK - 12,033
IN 1998 ­ AND THESE CHILDREN, BEING RAISED BY SINGLE PARENTS, MANY RECEIVING
GOVERNMENT SUBSIDY, ARE USUALLY DESTINED TO A SIMILAR FATE AS ARE CHILDREN
OF DIVORCE.   RESEARCH SHOWS THAT AT THE TIME OF THE BIRTH OF A CHILD TO A
LOW INCOME, UNWED MOTHER 82% OF THE PARENTS ARE ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED, 86%
OF THESE FATHERS HAVE THEIR NAME ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE AND 78% HELPED THE
MOTHER DURING PREGNANCY.

BECAUSE ONE OF THE OBJECT GOALS OF WELFARE REFORM IS TO INCREASE THE
FORMATION OF INTACT, TWO-PARENT FAMILIES ­ OUR LEGISLATIVE PACKAGE INCLUDES
INITIATIVES TO DO THAT.

SB 482, INTRODUCED BY SEN. RAMSAY GORHAM (R-BERNALILLO) SEN. ROMAN MAES
(D-SANTA FE) AND OTHERS, CREATES AN APPROPRIATION TO TEACH PRE-MARITAL AND
MARRIAGE MAINTAINANCE PROGRAMS TO WELFARE RECIPIENTS ON TEMPORARY ASSISTANCE
TO NEEDY FAMILIES (TANF).  THE PROGRAM CONTENT WOULD INCLUDE THE MEANING AND
BENEFIT OF MARRIAGE, COMMUNICATION SKILLS, CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS, AND
INFORMATION ABOUT THE SOCIAL, HEALTH AND ECONOMIC IMPACT OF DIVORCE, ALONG
WITH THE EFFECT OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN.   ADDITIONALLY, SB 482 WOULD FUND A
STATEWIDE MEDIA CAMPAIGN TO LAUD THE BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE.

STUDIES SHOW THAT MARRIED COUPLES ARE HAPPIER, THEY LIVE LONGER (MARRIED MEN
LIVE UP TO FIVE YEARS LONGER THAN THEIR UNMARRIED COUNTERPARTS) AND RAISE
CHILDREN WHO, GENERALLY, ARE LESS LIKELY TO TAKE DRUGS AND ENGAGE IN
VIOLENCE.  DESPITE THESE FACTS, SINCE 1970, DIVORCE IS UP 300% AND MARRIAGE
IS DOWN 41%.

HAVE CONTENTED MARRIAGES GONE THE WAY OF THE HORSE AND BUGGY OR IS MARRIAGE
MAKING A 4TH QUARTER COMEBACK?   RESEARCH SHOWS THAT 10% OF ALL DIVORCES ARE
THE RESULT OF REPEATED PHYSICAL ABUSE, INCEST OR OTHER HEINOUS BEHAVIOR -
THAT 20% OF DIVORCES OCCUR BECAUSE BOTH PARTIES WANT ONE -  THAT 50% ARE FOR
THE STATED REASON OF SIMPLY "POOR COMMUNICATION".   STUDIES CLEARLY SHOW
THAT TEACHING FUNDAMENTAL RELATIONSHIP SKILLS INCREASES THE LIKELIHOOD OF
THE SATISFACTION AND LONGEVITY OF MARRIAGE.

INTERESTINGLY, 86% OF PEOPLE WHO SAID THEY WERE IN BAD MARRIAGES AND STUCK
IT OUT REPORTED FIVE YEARS LATER THAT THEIR MARRIAGES WERE HAPPIER ­ 60%
SAID THEY WERE "VERY HAPPY".

THERE ARE TWO FINAL PIECES TO OUR LEGISLATIVE PACKAGE.  SB 500 INTRODUCED BY
MYSELF AND SEN. PETE CAMPOS (D-DE BACA) AND OTHERS, APPROPRIATES MONEY TO
PRODUCE, PRINT AND DISTRIBUTE A BOOKLET THAT WOULD OFFER COUPLES IN CONFLICT
A RANGE OF RESOURCES AVAILABLE TO THEM PRIOR TO MARRIAGE DISSOLUTION.  THE
BOOKLET WOULD INCLUDE FAITH-BASED, PRIVATE AND PUBLIC PROGRAMS AND
COUNSELING, AS WELL AS GUIDANCE IN ADDRESSING ISSUES RELATED TO CONFLICT
RESOLUTION, FINANCIAL COUNSEL, SUBSTANCE ABUSE ISSUES, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
RESOURCES AND MORE.

IT IS CLEAR THAT GOVERNMENT HAS A STRONG INTEREST IN MARRIAGE.  THE STATE OF
NEW MEXICO LICENSES MARRIAGES, IT LAYS THE GROUND RULES FOR THE DISSOLUTION
OF MARRIAGE AND IT FUNDS PROGRAMS THAT DEAL WITH THE OUTCOME OF BROKEN
HOMES.  SB 497, INTRODUCED BY SEN. CAMPOS AND MYSELF, AFFIRMS THAT INTEREST
BY GIVING COUPLES A TAX CREDIT FOR A MARITIAL PREPARATION OR MARRIAGE
MAINTAINANCE PROGRAM TAKEN DURING THE CALENDAR YEAR.

WHEN MARRIAGES BREAK UP CHILDREN SUFFER AND SOCIETY PAYS.  A RECENT WIRTHLIN
POLL SHOWED THAT PEOPLE LIST STRENGTHENING FAMILES AS MORE IMPORTANT THAN
CREATING JOBS OR CLEANING UP THE ENVIRONMENT.  WE BELIEVE OUR LEGISLATIVE
PACKAGE IS A STRONG STEP IN THAT DIRECTION.



SEN. MARK BOITANO, SITS ON THE SENATE EDUCATION AND PUBLIC AFFAIRS
COMMITTEE.  HE WAS ONE OF THE ORGANIZERS OF THE GOVERNOR¹S SUMMIT ON
MARRIAGE AND PARENTING LAST OCTOBER.

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