President's Program for Fathers Misses Mark

[owner-smartmarriages]

from: Smart Marriages

Wade Horn will open the Smart Marriages conference with "Fathers Count
and Marriage Matters".   


President's Program for Fathers Misses Mark

 February 29, 2000  Washington Times

Dr. Wade F. Horn
President, The National Fatherhood Initiative



    Shortly after the President released his proposed 2001 budget, a 
friend 
of mine called me from a Governor's office in the midwest.  "You must be 
pretty pleased," he opened confidently.  "He's proposing a bunch of new 
money 
for fatherhood programs." 

    "Actually," I answered, "I think his fatherhood initiative does more 
harm 
than good."

    "Really?" my friend replied incredulously, "But I thought you were in 
the 
fatherhood business."

    My friend, of course, is correct.  As President of the National 
Fatherhood Initiative, I am in the fatherhood business.  And President 
Clinton did propose a bunch of new money for fatherhood programs -- $125 
million to be exact.  So why am I not jumping up and down with excitement 
over his new fatherhood program?

    Let's begin with the good news.  The President's budget, as have all 
presidents' budgets since, I think, George Washington's, includes a lot 
of 
"get tough on deadbeat dads" initiatives, including "booting" the cars of 
delinquent payers, intercepting gambling winnings to collect past-due 
child 
support, and denying passports to parents who owe $2,500 or more in child 
support.

    Nothing wrong with getting tough on deadbeat parents.  Any 
non-custodial 
parent who has the ability to help support financially his or her 
children 
and does not, gets no sympathy from me.  Children don't ask to come into 
this 
world.  When we become parents, we incur an obligation to do all we can 
to 
support our children, and that includes financial support.  That 
obligation 
doesn't end simply because a marriage does -- or because a marriage 
doesn't 
happen in the first place.

    But life is more complicated than is suggested by "deadbeat dad" 
rhetoric 
alone.  Some non-custodial parents are more "dead broke" than "deadbeat." 
 
Others have not so much "walked away" as they have been "pushed away."

    Interestingly, the President's budget takes a giant step toward 
recognizing these complexities, for in addition to efforts to "get tough 
on 
deadbeat parents," it also includes a program to help low-income, 
non-custodial parents -- mostly fathers -- get jobs, pay child support, 
and 
reconnect with their children.

    So what's my problem?  Sounds like a pretty good idea, doesn't it?

    Well, not really.  The problem with the President's fatherhood 
proposal 
is this:  It punishes fathers who get married.  Here's how.

    Suppose you are running a program under the President's proposal and 
a 
24-year-old, unwed father walks into your office.  He grew up in a 
low-income 
neighborhood, is under-educated, and marginally employed.  But he is now 
a 
father and wants to do right by his child.  He asks for your help getting 
a 
steady job so that he can better fulfill his child support obligations 
and 
wants to learn how to be a good dad.  Can you help, he asks?

    You bet, you reply.  We have a wonderful program for you.  We will 
help 
improve your job skills and find you a decent job.  Once employed, we 
will 
provide you with an on-going supportive employment program to increase 
the 
likelihood that you will keep your job.  And we also have a peer support 
program to help you learn the skills necessary to be an involved father.

    Great, this young man says, sign me up.

    Now imagine that soon after this young father leaves your office, 
another 
young man comes into the room.  He, too, is 24-years-old and from a 
low-income neighborhood.  He, too, is under-educated and marginally 
employed. 
 He, too, is now a father and wants to do right by his child.  Can you 
help, 
he asks?

    Before you answer, "of course," imagine there is this one little 
difference between these two young men.  Imagine the second guy is 
married to 
the mother and is living with his children.  Under the President's 
proposal, 
you would have to say there's nothing you can do for him.

    What, the guy answers, but my buddy was just in here.  We live in the 
same neighborhood, earn the same amount of money, and our kids are the 
same 
age.  How come you can help him, but not me?

    Well, you answer, you're married.  He's not.  This program is for 
low-income, non-custodial fathers only.

    What, this second young man asks, do I have to do to get the same 
services?

    Your reply -- if you are honest -- would have to be this: Divorce the 
mother and move out.

    The reason you would have to answer this way is because the 
President's 
proposal, well-meaning though it might be, limits eligibility to 
low-income, 
non-custodial fathers.  Programs funded under such an approach would have 
to 
hang up a sign at the door saying, "Married fathers need not apply."  I 
can't 
think of anything that would be worse for fathers, mothers, and children 
than 
that.

    To be fair, the President has not yet submitted legislative language 
for 
his fatherhood initiative.  There is still time for the President and his 
advisors to rethink this ill-conceived idea to restrict eligibility to 
non-married, low-income fathers.

    But unless a fix is made, making both single and married low-income 
fathers eligible, this proposal is worse than nothing.  We've seen the 
devastation that 70 years of welfare largely restricted to unmarried 
mothers 
has wrought.  It would be a shame if we spend the next 70 years repeating 
that mistake with fathers.

________________________
Dr. Wade F. Horn is President of the National Fatherhood Initiative, a 
clinical child psychologist, and co-author of several books on parenting 
including the Better Homes and Gardens New Father Book (Meredith, 1998) 
and 
the Better Homes and Gardens New Teen Book (Meredith, 1999).  Send your 
question about dads, children or fatherhood to: The National Fatherhood 
Initiative, 101 Lake Forest Blvd, Suite 360, Gaithersburg, MD  20877, or 
e-mail him at NFI1995 at aol.com.



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