Valentine's day news/Dr Romance/wife beaters, etc - 2/14/00

[owner-smartmarriages]

from: Smart Marriages 

I was launched on Valentine's Day as the "Dr. Romance" columnist on the 
women.com
site.    Check it out at:

http://eharlequin.women.com/harl/life/expert/drromance/00drrm17.htm

I did this because of the promise that it would increase traffic to 
smartmarriages.com -  However, it is so deeply buried that I don't think 
I'll continue unless they change the
way it's "located."  I'm promised that will happen - that it just takes 
them a few 
days/weeks to tweak things and that I'll be moved up in prominence.  We 
shall see. 

Right now it's almost impossible to find if you don't have the direct 
link above. 

Start at the women.com site. (http://www.women.com)  
On the left are "channels."  
Click on Sex & Romance.
Then way at the bottom of the sex and romance page are topic lists under
the heading "Inside".  One is couples.  Under that click on "marriage 
secrets." 

On the marriage secrets page at the bottom left under the heading "More 
women.com"
 click on "It's all about love" 
The next page has Dr Romance listing, click on it and you get my page. 

Any and all advice about how to negotiate this will be appreciated.  
_______________________
Here's the Valentine's Day Tip from the Real Age webs site, maybe the 
whole world is catching on to "The Case for Marriage"!!:  

Research has shown that loving relationships confer health benefits that 
can keep you young. One way to maintain intimacy in a relationship is to 
preserve the passion. In honor of St. Valentine, stretch those quick 
kisses into savory smooches and enjoy the warmth and intimacy of this 
close connection with your partner.
RealAge Benefit: Long-term, loving relationships can make your RealAge as 
much as 6.5 years younger.

____________________
Smart Marriages made it on the www.inc.com web site for Valentine's Day - 
it's THE site for information about "where to start and run your own 
business" 

We're listed as a resource on an article about a couple who works 
together.
Here's the url if you want to check it out. We were the only helping 
organization listed.

http://www.inc.com/articles/details/0,6378,AGD10_ART17066_CNT56_HOM1_LOC0_N
AVhome_PAG4,00.html
__________________
A response to the post about divorce rates: 
> Some thoughts are embedded...
>
> >     I for one am surprised to read that the US divorce rate has declined
> >     20% since 1979, since I've never seen any evidence for that.  Let me
> >     ask what that means:
>
> Every recent, decent m&f textbook shows the decline in a table or graph.
> The decline applies equally to the crude (divs/pop) and refined
> (divs/married women) rate.

I've never seen any data for a decline as sharp as 20% - it's more like 5-
7%, during a period when cohabitation and out-of-wedlock births are
dramatically increasing.

I don't think that's really any cause for great outbursts of joy.

RB
--
Richard Bennett
http://www.bennett.com
__________________

And this ran in England on Valentine's Day - the other side of romance.
Mike and Harriet McManus are in England this week as the Brits take
a proactive stance to help strengthen marriages and relationships.  
They seem to be going all out.  -diane 

The Daily Express
14 February, 2000

NO MERCY FOR WIFE BEATERS
EXCLUSIVE BY DAVID TAYLOR
HOME AFFAIRS EDITOR

A CRACKDOWN on men who attack wives and girlfriends was revealed last 
night.

Ministers are set to unveil a major programme to tackle violence against
women, which includes plans for a £14million, three-year publicity blitz 
to
make everyone in Britain wake up to the realities of domestic violence.

No-mercy measures will also be introduced this year to combat failings 
which
mean tens of thousands of sex crimes go unpunished every year.

An action plan agreed by Home Office Minister Paul Boateng and colleagues
across Government will see schools, housing authorities, hospitals, police
and the courts join forces to boost the safety of women on our streets, at
work and in their homes.

Mr Boateng told The Express that the number of cases of domestic violence,
rape and sexual assault which fell through or were dropped by prosecution
lawyers was "quite unacceptable". He warned men who attack women: "Society
is on your case, you are not going to get away with it. Think again, don't
do it - but if you do, be sure that you will be prosecuted and convicted."

This week the Home Office will announce a £7million package of grants for
projects around the UK aimed at boosting dismal conviction levels for rape
and giving better protection to women who are repeatedly beaten by their
partners.

Women from ethnic minorities who feel too ashamed to complain about 
violence
will get help from new projects which will let them use places like 
nursery
schools to report abuse.

The initiative will be further strengthened by a parallel campaign 
featuring
former Oxo mum Lynda Bellingham.

The Government declared war on wife-beaters last summer as findings 
revealed
that two women are killed every week by their current or former partners,
and one in four women will fall victim to domestic violence at some time 
in
their lives. Now a plan of action has been agreed covering six Government
departments and organisations, including the Crown Prosecution Service. Mr
Boateng set out three main aims behind the strategy - "to improve 
detection
and conviction of perpetrators of domestic violence, rape and sexual
assault; to deter and discourage such offences and to create a climate in
which violence against women, whether overtly sexual or simply violent, is
regarded as being somehow of lesser significance than other offences". He
added: "It is significant and society should no longer be prepared to
tolerate it."

Schools will be told in the spring to start changing attitudes by teaching
pupils about domestic violence as part of lessons about relationships, sex
and parenthood. Police chiefs will be told to adopt "pro-arrest" policies 
in
domestic violence cases, which can dramatically cut the number of repeat
attacks.
Usually, 35 per cent of women who are attacked by their partners suffer
repeat violence within five weeks.

A West Yorkshire police scheme has cut repeat violence in nine out of 10
cases by arresting offenders wherever possible. Police let victims and 
their
abusive partners know they are patrolling the area in the weeks after a
complaint, and encourage friends, neighbours and GPs to be on alert for
signs of violence.

The advertising and publicity campaign will aim to persuade families,
friends, neighbours, doctors, work colleagues and employers that domestic
violence is "everybody's problem".

Three separate TV campaigns, roadside adverts and newspaper and radio
campaigns will cost an estimated £14.5million, but the Government is 
hoping
to get support from business - noting that the Body Shop has already run 
its
own campaign on domestic violence.

The broader strategy will include greater efforts to deal with the threat 
of
violence in the NHS, where one in three nurses is physically attacked each
year.

One of the key initiatives aims to unite police, housing and health
authorities and voluntary services in making sure women get a better deal
from the courts. Crime partnerships in more than 400 areas of England and
Wales will work to improve conviction rates for domestic violence, rape 
and
sexual assault by safeguarding women against threats and intimidation.

Hospitals and GPs will be expected to work with police to gather evidence 
of
physical injuries to help get stronger cases to court. More than 50,000
women and children each year take advantage of the network of 445 refuges 
in
England and Wales to flee violence.

Mr Boateng admitted: "We are concerned that we don't always have in place
the support mechanisms that are necessary if we are going to continue with
court actions which inevitably put a great deal of wear and tear on a
complainant. We also want to ensure that police and health authorities 
work
together to ensure that victims give the best possible evidence - that
doesn't always happen."

Although the number of reported rapes has more than doubled in a decade as
women get more confident about coming forward, Government figures show 
that
while 48,000 women contacted rape crisis groups last year, only 12 per 
cent
of them reported the crimes to police.

Picking up the pieces from violence costs millions of pounds every year.
Research in London suggests that dealing with the consequences of domestic
violence costs £278million a year in the capital alone.
In her campaign, actress Lynda Bellingham, whose ex-husband plagued her 
with
abusive telephone calls and visits for nearly two years, is to front a
special police campaign in London.

Italian restaurateur Nunzio Peluso was fined £4,000 and placed under a
restraining order under anti-stalking laws last month. He narrowly avoided
jail after he telephoned the actress, who played the head of the "perfect"
family in the Oxo TV adverts and has appeared in many comedy series,
threatening to kill her after their marriage ended in divorce in 1997.

Ms Bellingham will be part of a Metropolitan Police campaign in the London
area aimed at victims of racist and homophobic crime, domestic violence 
and
hate mail. On the eve of the campaign launch, she said: "No one should 
have
to live in fear or feel that they are alone. I would urge any victim to 
come
forward to the police."

(c) Express Newspapers, 2000 <http://www.lineone.net/express/>





**************************
This FREE online newsletter shares information on marriage, divorce and 
skills-based educational approaches.  Opinions expressed are not 
necessarily shared by members of the Coalition.

Copyright © 2000 CMFCE. All rights reserved.

To SUBSCRIBE or UNSUBSCRIBE to the list, mail majordomo at his.com
Leave the subject line empty. In the body of the 
message type: subscribe smartmarriages or unsubscribe smartmarriages 
(do this on the first line, do not skip a space at the top)

- to CHANGE YOUR ADDRESS, follow the directions to unsubscribe your old 
address and subscribe your new address.  

- this is a moderated list.  When you send a reply message it is read by 
Diane Sollee, director, only.  

Newsletter archive - all past posts to the newsletter:
http://archives.his.com/smartmarriages/index.html#start 

4th Annual Smart Marriages conference/June 29 - July 2, 2000, DENVER  
http://www.smartmarriages.com/conferencedetails.html 
for registration, hotel and travel information.
up to 57 hours CEU -APA, SW, MFT, NBCC, CFLE

List your program in the Directory of Providers at:
 http://www.smartmarriages.com/directory_browse.html 

Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE)
Diane Sollee, Director
5310 Belt Rd. NW, Washington, DC 20015-1961
www.smartmarriages.com
202-362-3332  (FAX 202-362-0973)   Email: cmfce at smartmarriages.com