College program prepares students to tie the knot -1/99

[Smartmarriages ©]

Who can get me this professor's address and phone number? Do any of you
know him?  


"Marry U." 

College program prepares students to tie the knot 

Thursday, January 14, 1999

By Kevin Hoffman The Associated Press 

PHILADELPHIA ‹ Some marriages are made in heaven. A Pennsylvania 
professor hopes they can be made in the classroom too.

This fall, Allentown College of St. Francis de Sales began offering a 
major in Marriage and Family Studies, an accredited program designed to 
prepare students for the challenges they may face as spouses and parents, 
said Brian Kane, the theology professor who organized the major at the 
small Catholic school.

College officials say it's the first Catholic college to offer such a 
major. Others have majors with the same name, but they are designed to 
create better counselors, not better spouses, Kane said.

"If you look at this generation, they really want to have good 
marriages," Kane said. "A lot of them are scared that they won't."

Allentown's emphasis on preparing students to be spouses appears to be 
unique, according to Peterson's, a Princeton, N.J.-based education and 
career information company.

Students majoring in Marriage and Family Studies learn skills such as 
communication, basic finance and budgeting. Course titles range from 
Sexual Morality to Addictions and the Family.

So far, the only student to sign up is Nancy Bucci, a former nurse at 
Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh and a married mother of three. Bucci, 
45, brings 22 years of experience to Kane's Marriage and the Family 
class, one of the courses in the Marriage and Family Studies major.

Bucci learned early that many of her young classmates had naive notions 
of marriage.

"They believed, 'I'm going to meet my soul mate and be happily ever 
after,'" Bucci said. "After 22 years of marriage, I just sat back and 
laughed."

She shared anecdotes about her own marriage to help give her classmates 
an idea of marriage after the honeymoon. After she graduates, she said, 
she hopes to work in a parish to promote family programs and reinforce 
the importance of the family unit.

"When I was younger I went into a field where I helped heal the body," 
she said. "I feel this is a natural progression, from healing the body to 
healing the soul."

The major examines marriage from various angles ‹ legal, theological, 
political, psychological and sociological. It can also be used to 
supplement a major in a more traditional field of study, Kane said.

Students who don't want to dedicate four years and $48,000 to studying 
marriage can learn a lot just by taking Kane's Marriage and the Family 
course, said Megan Punches, another student.

Punches, 20, was unsophisticated before entering the class this fall, but 
classmates like Bucci helped her understand that long-term commitments 
aren't decade-long fairy tales.

"They said sometimes you're not going to want to be with that person, but 
you stick together because you made a commitment," Punches said. 
"Sometimes you just close your eyes and hold on. And get through it."

Statistics show many couples don't get through it. The Census Bureau 
reports 2.3 million marriages and 1.2 million divorces in 1995.

The largest proportion of divorces are granted to men and women who marry 
between the ages of 20 to 24, said a 1989-1990 report on divorce by the 
National Center for Health Statistics.

But can a class, or even a major, really lead to a healthier marriage?

Yes, says Dr. Arthur Mones, a coordinator of family and marital training 
at St. John's University in New York.

Marriages typically go through three stages: infatuation, disillusion and 
acceptance, Mones said. Many couples file for divorce while mired in the 
disillusion stage.

Classes in marriage can help teach students that disillusion is normal, 
and this knowledge may keep couples together, Mones said.

"Part of the problem is a lot of people don't have the skills to be 
married," Kane said.

Although Bucci is the only student signed up for the major, 28 students 
took the Marriage and the Family course. Two are married, three are 
engaged and a dozen are in serious relationships, said Kane, 35, who is 
married himself. 

"Around the Coalition" shares a wide range of information on marriage, 
divorce, and educational approaches.  Opinions expressed are not 
necessarily shared by members of the Coalition. 

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