Pat Love on JAMA Sex Survey results - 2/99

[Smartmarriages ©]

Pat Love, author of Hot Monogamy, was featured on several
shows this week (Today, MSNBC, etc) as a commentator
on the Sex Survey released in Journal of the American Medical 
Association on the high incidence of sexual problems in the US.  
This some of what she's saying on the shows.  

*******
The results are important because they reflect the experience of a
significant portion of our population.  In a culture in which television,
magazines, movies and other media portray individuals having lots of sex
and always perfect, it's validating to know that isn't the case for more
than an isolated few.

Important points:

Sexual difficulties can be a symptom of the onset of illness, therefore a
consultation with a primary care physician may be warranted.  (not all
physicians are apprised of sexual issues, you may have to shop around)

Any activity- such as stress, medication, smoking, hostility-which
constricts the blood vessels, can lower libido and cause arousal and 
sexual
desire difficulties.  Many sexual difficulties are lifestyle related.

Medications are famous for lowering libido.  Selected antidepressants,
antihistamines, some hormones, and conceivably any across the counter
medication that says "may cause drowsiness" can affect your sex life.

In addition, since Dr. Barbara Sherwin's l990 study showing the 
correlation
between female libido and testosterone, we know that the extent to which
women (and men) have testosterone, they will have libido, i.e. the 
physical
urge to engage in sex.  There are millions of low-T men and women.  For
this group it is normal to have little physical drive.  However we know
that there are two main pathways to sexual desire:  psychogenic and
autogenic.  This means if you just don't naturally walk around with sexual
energy, you can use your mind (the ultimate sex machine) to create sexual
desire.  Basically all you need is the desire to desire to be a great sex
partner.  I don't mean to oversimplify  but this study brings out the
fact that many of us have to be proactive to create the sex life we long
for.  I know this is a foreign concept.  It is also complicated by the 
fact
that early attraction and the infatuation stage give us this "natural 
high"
induced by Nature's love potion (PEA-phenyethylamine, et al.), and during
this time even the low-T person has heightened libido.  This leads one to
believe it will always be this way, but after a few months the PEA wears
off and the person goes back to "normal," which for the low-T, is little 
or
no libido.  This causes a lot of confusion and conflict in relationships.

The groups in the study which seemed to have the lowest libido were older
men and younger single women.  The older men make sense and can likely be
explained by lifestyle, habits (smoking is the biggest culprit), 
medication
and lowered hormone levels.

The younger women could be reflecting testosterone levels (low-T is 
usually
a phenomenon throughout the lifecycle).  Even though there are millions of
low-T men, there are more low-T women.  In all of nature it is generally
the female that is slow to respond sexually.

I think the important fact to remember is 99% of all sexual difficulties 
can
 be alleviated and education, skills and knowledge are a major part of 
the solution.

It's exciting that we have new information during this decade that makes 
sex education even more helpful and powerful.  I believe we have gone 
about sex education backwards in this
country, i.e. only focusing on children and teens.  I believe when adults
are educated, children will be educated.  Most of us told our children 
most
everything we knew about sex--and it was precious little!  Now there have
been enough new discoveries (e.g. all the info coming from the DNA 
analysis
moving to crack the gene code) to warrant a movement toward better
educating adults.  This would be a creative solution to the debate about
teaching sex in schools.  Through adult sex ed we could increase the
probability our kids would be safer and make more informed decisions.  I
say we need a PBS series on the subject.  Am I volunteering?  YOU BET!

Pat will present a training institute and a workshop on the Hot Monogamy 
program
at the Smart Marriages conference.  




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