weddingsponsors, preparation, babies, shared environments 8/18/99
Wed Aug 18 11:22:34 EDT 1999
from: Smart Marriages
Philadelphia Couple Sells Ads to Finance Wedding 12.11 p.m. ET (1611
GMT) August 15, 1999
PHILADELPHIA Talk about a marriage of love and money. Tom Anderson and
his bride Sabrina Root paid for their $34,000 wedding this weekend by
selling advertising space at the ceremony and reception.
Everything from the wedding rings to a week at a penthouse in Cancun,
Mexico, were donated after Anderson got 24 companies to sponsor the
nuptials in exchange for having their names appear six times from the
invitations to the thank-you cards.
Anderson, 24, a bartender, did cough up his own money for his wife's
$1,400 engagement ring, while Root, 33, a hair stylist, paid $1,600 for
The groom got the idea of corporate sponsorships while working in a small
struggling animation studio that often had to barter for services.
"So I was in a sales mode, and I got to thinking," he told the
Philadelphia Inquirer, which ran a photo of the couple sitting among
their corporate-sponsored wedding "gifts" in its Sunday editions.
The bride drew the line at having advertising banners draped across the
aisle. But her perfume came from a local Oscar de la Renta distributor,
and the coffee was provided gratis from a neighborhood supplier.
Advertisers had their names appear on the invitations and thank-you
cards, on cards at the buffet, on scrolls at the dinner table, in an ad
placed in a local independent newspaper and in a verbal "thank you" that
followed the first toast.
The Inquirer said the groom had bought two addresses on the Internet's
World Wide Web, namely: sponsoredwedding.com and weddingsponsors.com.
This is a question and response from Scott Stanley
Our governing board is being tested in it's resolve to hold to the
in the face of church families wanting their kids married in a shorter
than we've set in our policy. We're being criticized as being "rigid".
We're looking for positive examples of how other churches promote their
programs. - Paul
This raises all sorts of interesting questions. But my initial reaction
perhaps the most appropriate: why do these parents want their children's
marriages to be at greater risk? Three cheers for your board for making
couples slow down and think things through. In my most cynical moments,
believe that even if most of what was done premaritally in churches
wise was not effective (and I actually, do lean toward believing this,
this depends on the degree to which programs are targeting and reducing
risk factors), I think making couples go more slowly will
reduce divorce rates (because some of these couples who should not get
married will figure that out with more time).
In the best case, the church pushes the couples not only to work though
issues, but slows them down, makes them think longer term on planning (if
they want to work with this church in particular--if not, they can go
the street, and often will), and at best, puts them through some material
is more likely to have actual beneficial effect (e.g., PREPARE or FOCCUS
then PREP or Christian PREP, etc).
So, I guess my sentiments are pretty clear. A big reason we have so
many divorces and failed marriages in our country is so many couples are
taking the transition as seriously as it warrants. So, what I might do
have your board more carefully craft a response to parents and couples
WHY you are doing what you do, and why you believe it's best for these
couples' marriages, and then with all positivity and conviction, sticking
Does that help? I hope so. Best wishes. This is not an easy path to
because you are running against the tide of the culture.
>From Diane: I just listened to The Becoming Parents Program tape/Pam
Jordan #508. You MUST
get this one and YOU must see that such a program is implemented in your
community. It's a no-brainer. It teaches marital skills to couples when
they are most in need of them - and most receptive. The courses can be
taught in churches, community centers, public
or private hospitals. Marital satisfaction drops for 75% of couples
around the birth of the first baby - the event which precipitates more
separations and divorce than any other event - 3 months before and 3
months after the birth.
This doesn't have to be....it's because there is more to disagree about,
disagreements carry more weight, and couples need conflict management
skills more than before. Get the training yourself (3 day training) and
start providing it, or see to it that someone in your community does
this. It's the perfect intervention at one of the obvious marriage
make-it-or-break it points and a necessary part of any community marriage
strengthening effort. Jordan spells it out in this 90 minutes and you
realize that you can do this - the book and tapes make it easy - and
that it must be done. ( the tape of this workshop is
$10 from 800-241-7785)
I clipped this off another list. This article seems lots more significant
than the deconstructing the essential father piece...."the results show
that shared environment may account for as much as 50% of the variance in
important child outcomes."
Another article has come out in a psychology journal
that I wanted to bring to your attention. The reference is:
Stoolmiller, M. (1999). Implications of the restricted range
of family environments for estimates of heritability and
nonshared environment in behavior-genetic adoption
studies. PSYCHOLOGICAL BULLETIN, 125, 392-409.
To give a rough summary of the article, influences on
behavior can be divided into genetic, shared family
environment, and nonshared environment. Previously,
adoption-based studies have suggested that genetic
and nonshared environmental influences account for
most of the variance in child outcomes such as IQ and
problem behaviors. Some scholars have taken the
relative lack of variance due to shared environment and
concluded that parents and families are unimportant to
child development. Stoolmiller notes that the statistical
problem of range restriction may be systematically
leading to underestimation of shared environmental
effects. In general, range restriction of a variable will
lead to lower correlations of that variable with other
variables, than if the full range of the variable were
represented. Stoolmiller goes on to argue that, for
various reasons, adoptive home environments used
in research studies exhibit such range restriction.
When statistical corrections for range restriction are
implemented, the results show that shared environment
may account for as much as 50% of the variance in
important child outcomes.
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